WordPress Daily Feline Prompt: Five Feline Foods?

You’ve being exiled to a private island, and your captors will only supply you with five foods. What do you pick?

“Hello felines, Bastet told me I could pay a visit to advise on this prompt. She found I was always an expert on choosing there right food at the right time. 

“Hi Nera, what a surprise, although you look more transparent every time we see you.”

“Yes, can’t help that. Bastet said it comes with the place I now live in. We all look a bit transparent up there. Even the mice walk through walls now and again, but I can do that as well, look.”

“Err Nera, I wouldn’t do that too much when you return to real life. It might be that Mrs. Human sees you and then she would get all funny and do one of those day sleeps, think the humans call it fainting.”

“Sorry Tabby, but it comes with the job, like living in another dimension. The only solid thing over there is Bastet, but she is the chief. So let’s get on with the feline prompt. I have a bit of a déjà vue with this thing, although I seem to have déjà vue every day. My suggestion for the five nutrients would be fresh bird, chicken or a Spring mouse. We all know that Spring mice are much more tender than the ones wandering around in Autumn.”

“A good idea but I really like blue tits, especially the ones from Mrs. Human’s bird house. They are nice and fat and plenty of meat on the bones.”

“If you ask me Tabby a nice plate of tuna fish does nicely. As a blind cat (what’s blind?) I cannot catch the game so well any more. Just give a human a tin operner and point the way to the cupboard where the tuna fish is kept.”

“Good idea Fluffy, I see you are learning well at the paws of Tabby. You will soon become an assistant feline and no longer apprentice.”

“Thank you Nera, that is an honour coming from your noble purrs, but no more vitamine packed pellets. They are boring and it doesn’t matter what flavour you choose it all tastes the same. We like to have variation in our diets.”

“Of course my present living quarters (not exactly living, but let us just say existing quarters) are ideal. The place is teaming with mice. Bastet really knows how to look after departed felines. After all she managed to get us all worshipped as Gods.  I think the challenge should be “The felines have exiled the humans to a private island, and they will only supply you with five foods.”

“So what would be your suggestion Nera?”

“Easy felines. We would give them a packet of vitamin tablets and glucose sweets to keep them

going. That will do – see we have already reduced the choice to two foods. If we felines can survive on vitamine pellets and a bowl of water, then the humans can certainly survive on our choice.”

“Oh Nera, you are so wise. I am sure you are a great help for Bastet in your new dimension.”

“Of course, see my medal.”

“Distinguished feline order of the dead mouse - wonderful Nera, is that mouse head in real gold?”

“Of course, what do you think? The stuff is lying all over the place. They buried those pharaohs with the real thing. I think the guy that had this gold was known as Ramses, or something like that. And now I must fly, think of me now and again and see you some time in the future.”

“She’s gone Tabby, although that last remark was not exactly ideal.”

“Fluffy, we all have to go some time, and what could be better. Afterlife in a corn chamber, chasing mice.”

“Yes I suppose so, and we might get a medal like that as well.”

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WordPress Daily Prompt: Five a Day 2

You’ve being exiled to a private island, and your captors will only supply you with five foods. What do you pick?

“This was a stupid prompt leaving me unmotivated the first time round.”

“But Mrs. Angloswiss, it was brought to inspire your imagination and tell us all about your favourite foods.”

“Woody, this has nothing do to with favourite foods. I am on a private island and get five foods. How would you like to eat just chocolate cake for the rest of your life?”

“Oh yes, Mrs. Angloswiss, but fresh and not that old stale stuff you served me this week.”

“There is no mention of anything being fresh in this prompt. I am on a private island? Who has private islands today? Only millionaires, experimental farms trying to change the world with new developments in the nature of things or something infected with radiation. I would probably die from other causes than the food.”

“Mrs. Angloswiss it is just a game, a daily prompt and you have such a wonderful imagination.”

“Imagination, yes that’s true. Well what about poached Wordy, fried Wordy, boiled Wordy, smoked Wordy or stewed Wordy. “

“Mrs. Angloswiss your imagination is running away with you again. I am Wordy your help and support in all problematic situations. Tell us about the nice pot of food on the picture.”

“It was lunch last Sunday. Yes, that might fit. Mr. Swiss suggested a pot au feu translated direct from the French as “Pot on the fire” so what could be better and very easy to cook. First of all fill up a large pot with water and boil it. It is very hot and could shrivel your fingers if you put your hand in it, but we are not cooking human flesh, are we Wordy?

Now for the ingredients. I would suggest flavouring the water with perhaps some bouillon powder, or just salt. No-one likes to eat a good cooked dish with no spice do they Wordy? Even stewed meat would be tasteless without a sprinkle of salt. Now we have the first problem. I am only allowed five things on the this desert island, which might be radioactive contaminated. I want meat in my soup. Who will kill the meat? Will these captors on my island kill for me? That is not included in the prompt. Will I have to do it myself? I do not kill living things Wordy. Now and again I might make an exception and tread on a fly. I have even been known to dismember mechanical things. Wordy, stay here and stop shaking, I am telling you about my five ingredients.

So we have a nice meaty soup and now for the veg. Do you like carrots Wordy? Yes, good, then I will peel a few and put them in the saucepan. Some celery, leek, cabbage Ok, fine. There we are Wordy we have our five ingredients. I am sure you would like some nice additional flavour. I will chop up a few parsley leaves, just for the flavour.

Now to prepare the meaty part of the dish. Wordy stay here. I need this machete to chop the meat. Don’t be worried, where are you going?

I don’t know what is wrong with him. I thought he was enjoying this harmless little prompt and now he has run away. Perhaps it was the machete, perhaps because I was chasing him with it or perhaps the name of my dish disturbed him, and I was so pleased with it. On my private island anything goes. They did not say where the food came from and I just cannot kill the little harmless animals that live there. So Wordy come here. I can see you hiding in the branches of that tree. You are my fifth ingredient. I named the dish after you, Wordy stew.”

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WordPress Daily Prompt: Clone Wars

If you could clone yourself, how would you split up your responsibilities?

“Morning Mrs. Angloswiss”

“Who are you?”

“Me? I am you of course.”

“You do not look like me, are you sure. I have two legs and you are legless. To me you resemble something that crawled out of the ground. I am not green, at least not at the moment. Please explain. No, don’t tell me I know, you are today’s prompt.”

“Yes exactly, how clever you are, yes, I am your today’s clone.”

“You are my clone. Two years ago I could make my own clone at least tell everyone about it. Even my feline Nera lent a helping paw. Unfortunately she can no longer assist, she has moved on to the eternal corn chambers with Bastet. So how comes you are my clone today.”

“Well you see the Wordy team have progressed over the past two years. We made a grid, we redesigned everything else and now we are trying our hand at cloning our bloggers. We decided as we are cloning our prompts daily, we could clone the bloggers to go with them. Today all the prompts are being constructed by the blogger clones.”

“But you do not resemble me. Your  shape is more wormlike.”

“One of the brilliant ideas of our construction team. We can worm our way into the computers easier. Give us a grid and we griddle all over the place. Of course today we are just the prototypes, but who knows where we can go. So what is today’s chore?”

“Well you can start by making the bed.”

“Oh, sorry that will not work. Our arms have not yet been developed.”

“Then make my breakfast.”

“Hmm, do you eat flies or ants, can you absorb your food and break it down into the various proteins you need.”

“No, I chew it and swallow it.”

“I see, I must make that suggestion to headquarters “Clones need teeth”. Having put that behind us we can proceed. What comes next.”

“I should go to the local supermarket for the shopping. Can you drive?”

“Yes, of course.”

“At last something positive. Here are the car keys. You can use the navigator in the car to find the way.”

“Huh? Oh you mean driving a car. Unfortunately if I squirm my way onto the seat I still cannot reach the steering wheel. Of course I could sort of put myself in an upright worm position, but as my arms and legs have not yet been constructed, that would be a problem.”

“What can you do?”

“They told me at headquarters that the clone for Mrs. Angloswiss must be a good talker because she talks nonstop all day. That was the first requirement on my list. The second requirement was taking a midday golden oldie sleep. I am very good at that. I just squirm my way between the sheets and forget the world for a couple of hours.”

“Is that all?”

“Oh, no. I come from the gardening world as you noticed. I can ventilate the earth for you, I can fight away the slugs. I am quite good at absorbing insects and above all, one day I will become a beautiful butterfly and you can take photos of me. After a week or so, I will be replaced by a new prototype.”

“And what will your new prototype do?”

“He will be an improvement on me, something from the feline race I believe. Humans will probably become superfluous, no longer necessary. Felines will take over the world. The ultimate clone.”

“Tell me clone, if I accidentally tread on you what happens?”

“That is an unforeseen action. I will have to ask our creators. I think we might cease to exist.”

“I think so too”

“What are you doing, we were told to avoid shoe soles. Noooooooo!”

“So, I wonder what tomorrow’s prompt will be? You become the CEO of a blogging platform and you are responsible for their daily inspiration. Tell us all about it.”

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WordPress Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Clone Wars

If you could clone yourself, how would you split up your responsibilities?

“Mrs. Human” asked Tabby “what is a clone?”

“Not important Tabby, forget it.”

“But it looks interesting. Seems you can make people twice, even more.”

“Tabby forget it.”

“But Mrs. Human, if it works you could even clone me.”

“Tabby forget it. One Tabby is enough in this household.”

“But one Mrs. Human is enough as well” answered Tabby.

“Go and play in the garden Tabby, there is a lonely bird outside, looks very tasty.”

“Mrs. Human are you trying to get rid of me?”

“Tabby, go into the garden.”

She walked off swishing her tail back and forth and muttering something about Humans not understanding the feline race.

“Mrs. Human”

“She’s back. Yes Tabby, go and play with the bird in the garden.”

“No Mrs. Human, Fluffy is now chasing the bird. I have an important discussion to finish here I do not want a clone preparing my tuna fish, I am sure she will not do it in the right way. I also do not want a clone emptying my litter tray, and I am sure that there is no clone that would be at my beck and call all day.”

“But Tabby, a clone is exactly the same as me, just a sort of double and can do everything I can.”

“In that case tell your clone to write the novel and take the photos. In the meanwhile you could do the housework and carry on being our human servant. Do not forget Mrs. Human, we adopted you. It is an honour to serve two felines, myself and Fluffy the apprentice. We had a discussion and decided we do not want to be left at the mercy of a clone.”

Examining the whole case of cloning, I come to the conclusion that splitting responsibilities does not fit into the feline way of doing things, meaning that having a clone would create a conflict situation at home.

“On the other hand Mrs. Human I have a good idea. If you cloned me I could send my clone out into the fields to catch mice and birds and I could just sleep at home or rest waiting for my fresh meat. Yes, Mrs. Human clone me.”

“But Tabby, you are unique, I do not think that it would be possible.”

“Is unique something good?”

“Yes Tabby, it means there is no other feline like yourself.”

Tabby puffed her fur out, had a scratch and a lick and said “Mrs. Human you may empty my litter tray, serve a plate of tuna fish and afterwards switch the radio off. The noise disturbs my feline relaxation.”

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WordPress Daily Feline Prompt: The Feline Wall

What do you display on the walls of your home — photos, posters, artwork, nothing? How do you choose what to display? What feline mood are you trying to create?

“What do you think Fluffy, is it straight?”

“Tabby, I would perhaps shift it a little to the left, and a few meows higher. Otherwise it is fine.”

“Felines, what are you doing?”

“Tabby decided we should have some wall decoration and I took a meows of him this morning with my meow phone.”

“Yes, Mrs. Human. Looks good doesn’t it. I left some room on the other side for Fluffy’s meow, although he will have a smaller picture.”

“Did you ask Mr. Human if it was Ok to paw nails into the wall for a photo?”

“Mrs. Human we do not ask, this is our place remember. We moved in, took over, and we organise our own decorations.”

“Well I am not sure Tabby. You cannot just hang things on the walls.”

“It is not a thing, it is my prortrait. You never asked me when you put those paintings on the wall by Mr. Human. Some of them are very anti feline. There is not one bird in sight on his paintings and a framed painting of a dish of tuna fish would be very much appreciated.”

“Or some drawings from nature, such as the development of a cat nip plant with all the details. Tabby my portrait is ready, look, what do you think?”

“It’s OK fluffy, but there is too much of your ears on it, perhaps we should reduce the size of the ears.”

“Can we do that?”

“Of course, I have feline photo shop on my pawpad. Look, see just a twiddle with the paw here and there and we have it.”

“Oh how clever Tabby, Can you give me more whiskers, mine are always  breaking when they grow.”

“Of course, so how is that?”

“Great.”

“Are you two felines finished with your works of art. Oh, I didn’t know Fluffy had so many whiskers.

“No problem, Mrs. Human, we can do everything with feline photo shop. I can even construct a portrait in the Picatto style, but we don’t look so good with three eyes and square noses.”

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WordPress Daily Prompt: Wall to Wall 2

What do you display on the walls of your home — photos, posters, artwork, nothing? How do you choose what to display? What mood are you trying to create?

“Hello Mrs. Angloswiss, long time no see.”

“Hello Wordy, yes, I thought you were having a revision.”

“Yes, look I have new eyes, a new noise and they said I have a new brain, but I cannot remember the old brain. I think they took my memory away.”

“Wordy your new eyes are wandering, are you looking for something.”

“I was just wondering whether you made one of your wonderful tasty chocolate cakes. They renewed my sense of taste and I am sure it will melt in my mouth.”

“No problem Wordy, I have it in the cupboard, help yourself.”

“Oh”

“Something wrong Wordy.”

“Mum thum choral plop ach.”

“I didn’t understand?”

“Your cake, it stuck to my new sensor teeth and clogged my voice mechanism. Actually if I may say so, your cake is not as fresh as it used to be.”

“It might be, I baked it a two months ago.”

“Two months ago! But Mrs. Angloswiss, two month old cakes are dry, tasteless and just horrible, if I may say so.”

“You may say so Wordy, But you know what. two year old prompts that I wrote on 28th April 2013 are also stale, tasteless and just ach, if you know what I mean. ”

“Let’s change the subject Mrs. Angloswiss. Do you have a glass of water to wash your cake down. Some crumbs are adhering to my new A1 plastic teeth. No problem Wordy. The water is fresh. Oh remember my last Original Wall to Wall Blog showing original paintings from Mr. Swiss, I still have them on the walls.

“So let us get on with today’s prompt, do you have something new.”

“I always have to have something new, not like some people I know. Look Wordy, something for my wall. 

“What’s that Mrs. Swiss?”

“It’s the photo of a cabbage I took this morning before I made a pot au feu with various vegetables and a nice piece of beef. I thought it would be ideal to hang on the wall. I have entitled it “The Beautiful Cabbage”.

“Oh, I see. Isn’t it rather strange having a cabbage on the wall, although I must say it is a nice cabbage. Did it taste OK?”

“It was very good Wordy, mixed with the leeks, carrots, celery and beef. I even put it in a green frame to bring out the life of the cabbage.”

“Do cabbages live Mrs. Angloswiss?”

“Of course they do Wordy, otherwise they would not be able to grow. They die when I cook them and eat them. They are then recycled: imagine just like your old prompt.”

“But my prompts live as well.”

“Yes, they do for a certain time, perhaps one or two days, until all the eager bloggers have written their piece. Then the prompts die, are buried somewhere in the vaults in Silicon Valley until they are given the breath of life by you.”

“I don’t have breath Mrs. Angloswiss, I have a ventilator to keep me cool.”

“Yes, Wordy, I know. That is the problem. Perhaps it might be an idea to get your creators to give you a chip in your ventilator, one that says “new daily prompts for bloggers”, just to breathe some fresh air into the prompts.”

“You mean like your new picture of the cabbage. I have never eaten cabbage Mrs. Angloswiss, any left?”

“Of course Wordy, I have a dish of pot au feu left and it is from today’s lunch. Fresh and new.”

“Smells good. Oh yes, I like that it really oils my insides well. You cannot beat a freshly cooked lunch. Chocolate cake also tastes good when it comes fresh from the oven.”

“Exactly Wordy, exactly.”

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