Tuesday 17 February 2015

WordPress Daily Feline Prompt: Five Feline Foods?

You’ve being exiled to a private island, and your captors will only supply you with five foods. What do you pick?

Nera on top of the wardrobe

“Hello felines, Bastet told me I could pay a visit to advise on this prompt. She found I was always an expert on choosing there right food at the right time. 

“Hi Nera, what a surprise, although you look more transparent every time we see you.”

“Yes, can’t help that. Bastet said it comes with the place I now live in. We all look a bit transparent up there. Even the mice walk through walls now and again, but I can do that as well, look.”

“Err Nera, I wouldn’t do that too much when you return to real life. It might be that Mrs. Human sees you and then she would get all funny and do one of those day sleeps, think the humans call it fainting.”

“Sorry Tabby, but it comes with the job, like living in another dimension. The only solid thing over there is Bastet, but she is the chief. So let’s get on with the feline prompt. I have a bit of a déjà vue with this thing, although I seem to have déjà vue every day. My suggestion for the five nutrients would be fresh bird, chicken or a Spring mouse. We all know that Spring mice are much more tender than the ones wandering around in Autumn.”

“A good idea but I really like blue tits, especially the ones from Mrs. Human’s bird house. They are nice and fat and plenty of meat on the bones.”

“If you ask me Tabby a nice plate of tuna fish does nicely. As a blind cat (what’s blind?) I cannot catch the game so well any more. Just give a human a tin operner and point the way to the cupboard where the tuna fish is kept.”

“Good idea Fluffy, I see you are learning well at the paws of Tabby. You will soon become an assistant feline and no longer apprentice.”

“Thank you Nera, that is an honour coming from your noble purrs, but no more vitamine packed pellets. They are boring and it doesn’t matter what flavour you choose it all tastes the same. We like to have variation in our diets.”

“Of course my present living quarters (not exactly living, but let us just say existing quarters) are ideal. The place is teaming with mice. Bastet really knows how to look after departed felines. After all she managed to get us all worshipped as Gods.  I think the challenge should be “The felines have exiled the humans to a private island, and they will only supply you with five foods.”

“So what would be your suggestion Nera?”

“Easy felines. We would give them a packet of vitamin tablets and glucose sweets to keep them

going. That will do – see we have already reduced the choice to two foods. If we felines can survive on vitamine pellets and a bowl of water, then the humans can certainly survive on our choice.”

“Oh Nera, you are so wise. I am sure you are a great help for Bastet in your new dimension.”

“Of course, see my medal.”

“Distinguished feline order of the dead mouse - wonderful Nera, is that mouse head in real gold?”

“Of course, what do you think? The stuff is lying all over the place. They buried those pharaohs with the real thing. I think the guy that had this gold was known as Ramses, or something like that. And now I must fly, think of me now and again and see you some time in the future.”

“She’s gone Tabby, although that last remark was not exactly ideal.”

“Fluffy, we all have to go some time, and what could be better. Afterlife in a corn chamber, chasing mice.”

“Yes I suppose so, and we might get a medal like that as well.”

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  1. Tuna sounds like the ideal 'Desert Island''s popular with both humans and felines.

  2. Can't stand the stuff myself, Minx likes it though. So long as there are plenty of fruit trees and lobsters would do me. lol