Saturday, 3 October 2015

Daily Prompt: The Return of the Flangiprop

Invent a definition for the word “flangiprop,” then use the word in a post.

Cleaning the drainage

It has been just over 2 years and it looks like the Flangiprop has returned. This time we had to get an expert. It was a difficult job because he had to find it first of all.

“Every time I felt the vibrations and inserted the tube it slithered away. I heard from headquarters that they had been developing new methods of integration into the human environment but this looks like a hard nut to crack.”

“What do you think the chances of finding it are?”

“I will get it eventually, but it will not be an easy job. Look, there it goes, it just showed one of its heads.”

“It has more than one head?”

“Yes, they grow all the time.”

“I have a copy of Jabberwocky here, perhaps it will assist.”

“Two years ago it did, but they have now developed a thinking organism called “floogle” and so galumphing on the way is no longer a clonglulous solution. We have to apply murdicism of the quanglular chong.”

“But that is quite drastic, not only will the Flangiprop not survive, but it might even destroy my kitchen sink.”

“I know, but do not forget kitchen sinks can be replaced, Flangiprops go forth and mutiply, although we have a new development  in sight. The first anti-Flangiprop sink.”

“A good idea, I would like to order one.”

“As I said they are still in phase 1 of the development, although they should be ready to fit in a week. They are quite expensive, $5000 and you will have to fill it with galoobile mud from time to time to ensure that they remain where they belong.”

“Oh that is quite expensive. Where do I get galoobile mud?”

“We deliver the source. You put in a bottle, feed it with chong regularly and it will grow. Cost: $1,000 but it is a one off price.”

“Where do I get chong?”

“No problem, $600 for a packet of seeds. Just put them a bowl of water and they will begin to grow, but perhaps keep them outside.”

“They need sun and water.”

“Not really, but they have a strong garlic-sewage smell and most customers do not like to have it growing in the house.”

“I can believe that. I will have to think about it. What alternative do I have?”

“None really the Flangiprops are quite fertile and if I manage to get this one, it does not mean that there are a few babies growing further down in the pipe.”

“Can’t I just pour some boiling water down the drain?”

“Of course, they love it. The more water the better, They expand and grow and then you will have to call my colleague responsible for blocked drains. Look there he is. I will have to wear my electromagnetic gloves. Do you have a connection to the electricity?”

“Yes, you mean for the gloves?”

“Of course, I have to grab it while he shows his head and be careful that it does not bite my finger off.”

“They bite?”

“If they do not spray bone dissolving solution.”

“Sounds like the Flangiprops are dangerous.”

“Oh yes they are. Of course I do have the ultimate solution. For $10,000 I have Flangiprop destruction liquid. Just spray it down the drain once a week and my company guarantees that you remain Flangiprop free.”

“Sounds very expensive. Do you accept a credit card?”

“Of course, I just happen to have a machine with me. Just insert the card and I will complete the deal. We have a special package deal with the new Flangiprop proof sink, gullible  mud, chong and Flangiprop desctruction liquid for just $12,000.”

“Then why didn’t you just use the special destruction liquid?”

“I am not allowed to. It is a rare liquid and exclusively for our customers.”

“In that case I would say you can pack your instruments away and I will give it a squirt. Look there is foam coming up the drainage.”

“You see it is dissolving already. I now have to move on to the next fool, sorry customer.”

“There are more Flangiprops in the street?”

“They are everywhere, goodbye Mrs. Angloswiss.”

And another fool believing that a can of mineral water can dissolve a Flangiprop. Now to the next neighbour, I made a good turnover today thanks to WordPress and its brilliant repeating ideas.

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