Sunday, 8 March 2015

The Great Feline Outdoors

blue tit pecking seeds

“Fluffy the sun is shining, we have warm temperatures and the birds are feeding.”

“Big deal Tabby, so what do we do?”

“We sit and wait until the bird has forgotten that we are there and pounce.”

“No-one will be pouncing Tabby, go and play together.”

“Felines do not play Mrs. Human, our life is concentrated on “The Importance of being Feline” based on the famous work by Oscar Wildcat. We think and therefore we are, in the words of Renée Des Cats, so do not tell us how we should approach the natural reflexes of the flying population. They are born to be supplied as our daily meal.”

“But you never seem to catch one Tabby.”

“Fluffy, be quiet, I am thinking and you will discourage my bird concentration. I think the bird does not realise I am here, it is still pecking at the delicacies supplied by Mrs. Human. I will now sleek up on the bird with my paws and pounce.”

“But Tabby.”

“Fluffy will you please hold your whiskers, the bird has now flown away due to your loud meows. You startled him.”

“And if Fluffy had not frightened the bird away, I would have done so. Birds are not in my garden as a supplement to your vitamin enriched food pellets.”

“Oh here she comes again, Mrs. Human with her food pellets. How would you like to eat dry food pellets Mrs. Human, instead of your juicy steaks, potato and vegetable.”

“That is not the question.”

“Mrs. Human it is written in the book of Bastet, chapter 992, verse 37, felines should be fed on something that once lived.”

“But your pellets lived, in another form of course. You have chicken flavoured pellets.”

“Oh, big deal, but I don’t see any chicken wings or legs, not even a feather in sight: just a brown pellet and it doesn’t make a noise either.”

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