Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Based on "I'm dead. I've missed you. Kiss? by Neil Gaiman

It was one of those days after the rain, when everything was fresh and awake. The sun brightened up the situation somewhat and George decided to go for a walk. Just along the river, into the woods and naturally by chance the path lead to “Nell’s Haven” a public house just at the end of the forest. With a mental picture in his mind of a glass of ale, covered with a layer of froth, his walk became quicker. 

It was then that he saw a young lady at the side of the path. He was surprised, as she was on her own and her clothing just did not seem to fit the blue jeans t-shirt look that was the normal uniform to be wearing for a walk. She had a rather long skirt, and a very sexy looking white blouse, at least they were the immediate thoughts George had when he saw her. The blouse was gathered loosely at the neck line and George being a man, noticed details of the two heavy breasts showing a slight dark shadow where the decolletée began. As she walked along the wayside there was a regular swaying movement. 

“Good morning sir” she said and George was immediately returned to the real earthy world of the forest. 

“What are you thinking George, you are a married man with three school children" was a thought that crossed his mind, but only briefly. As the distance lessened between the two people, George caught a whiff of her perfume. Also very earthy, and natural, nothing that you would buy in an expensive perfumery, but it just fitted her appearance.

“Good morning Miss” he answered, with a slight quiver in his voice. 

“George pull yourself together” he thought and just could not help studying her features, trying to ignore the inviting breasts. She was beautiful in a wild way. Dark eyes, long lashes and her lips were so red. He remembered when he was dating his wife for the first time she always wore a lipstick called “Rich Red” but her lips were even a tone darker, and he was sure she was not wearing lipstick.

The lady looked at George, licking her lips giving the red tone an even darker shade.

“I was wondering, could you perhaps help me. I am looking for an Inn called Nell’s Haven. I was told it was somewhere here near the forest.”

“No problem” said George, trying to act nonchalantly as if beautiful sexy ladies were a usual encounter on his walks.

“I am going there myself, you can accompany me. It is not far. Are you new in the area?” he asked, not really interested how new she was, but somehow wanting, even needing, to have a deeper contact with the lady.

“Oh, no, I actually knew the area very well when I was younger, but lost contact over the years. I am surprised to hear that the inn still exists.”

George noticed that the lady spoke with a slight country accent, peculiar to the local population and her usage of words such as “sir” and “inn” also seemed strange. He was just about to tell her to walk with him when a large black cloud covered the sun and it began to rain. Not really raining, but a cloudburst. 

“We must shelter” she said “come with me” and it was George that followed the lady into the forest, deeper and deeper.

Later that evening a figure entered Nell’s Haven, disheveled and his face was a white as a sheet, bloodless would have been a word for it. George tumbled into the nearest empty chair in the public house.

“Brandy, a large glass” he mumbled to Marion, the lady at the bar.

“What’s up George, you look like you have seen a ghost or something. And you are soaking wet, been out in the rain?”

“Yes, no, just give me a drink”

George emptied his glass in half a minute and ordered another.

“Come on George, tell us what happened. 

“Yes” said Bill and Joe, his drinking friends who were also there. 

George looked around him. “Am I safe?” was the question whilst he begun to empty the second glass.

“George you look like you need a doctor or something. What happened?”

“Nothing happened, or yes something happened. It was her.”


“The one on the sign outside the inn.”

“We have a public house George, not an inn, and the one on the sign outside hanging up is Nell, or is supposed to be. You know the story of the old innkeeper’s daughter a few hundred years ago that they burnt on the village green for witchery. It’s a nice story to keep the guests visiting.”

“It was her, I am sure. She spoke all old fashioned.”

“If you ask us” said Bill and Joe “it was one of the village girls dressed up to give you a scare. We think it would be better if you made your way home. We will give you a lift.”

“Thanks, but I think I will need some fresh air after that shock. She grabbed hold of me and she sort of changed. Even her clothes looked all ragged and she smelt funny.”

“No George, stay here, we will take you home” both Bill and Joe thinking that George must have fallen over in the forest and hit his head on a tree or something. They noticed he did have a few scratches on his face; but George had already left.

He started on his way home alone. It was now very dark and only by seeing the lights of the village in the distance he knew which direction to go. It was then that he heard footsteps behind him and a woman’s voice saying:

“I'm dead. I've missed you. Kiss?”

They found George a day later wandering around in the forest. They had to organize an ambulance for him and he was brought to the local psychiatric hospital for treatment. After a few years his wife divorced him as she realized there was no cure for his insanity. Every time she visited him in the hospital he told her she should wear his favourite lipstick: Rich Red.

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