Followers

Saturday, 11 July 2009

MULTIPLY Writing Prompt #23: the Giant Mouse

“I caught a mouse, it was 10 paws high
Well perhaps not quite, I will tell you why
My sister Tabby cat, she caught them all
So I decided to beat her call”
“What do I hear, you Nera cat
A mouse 10 paws high I don’t believe that”
“It is true cross my paws and hope to die
You are just jealous, it fell from the sky”
“Now Nera you know that mice live in a hole
I just don’t believe that you saw it roll
down from the heaven and fall in your paw
You are just showing off, it is just not the law”
“I saw it Tabby really I did,
it had enormous ears and a bushy eyelid”
“Fluffy you cat, what do you know about mice
You are lying for Nera, now that is not nice.”
“Oh Tabby, it’s the truth it knocked me out
When it fell from the clouds it fell on its snout”
“Nera and Fluffy, so show me this mouse
I cannot see it here, it must be as big as a house.”
“Well you see Tabby” said Nera, “it was still alive”
“Yes” said Fluffy, “it wanted to survive”
“You are making it up as my name is Tabby cat
If you ate the mouse you would be very fat”
“We did not kill it” said Nera and Fluffy
“Mrs Human took a photo, it looked very scruffy”
“Look Tabby” said Nera “here’s the picture tiptop”
“but Fluffy don’t tell Tabby it was done in photo shop”

So Tabby went her way was a little bit jealous
That the other two cats were somewhat zealous
They caught such a giant mouse that fell from the sky
“I just don’t believe it, they ate catnip, were high”

But as Tabby pawed on and walked past her house
She turned her head upwards, looking for a mouse
There is no real moral, don’t believe all the facts
Especially when they come from two very sly cats.




For more, click here

Friday, 10 July 2009

Did I ever tell you .....

that I broke my arm on Whit Monday. I think I did. For those with funny feelings about hospitals and injuries don't bother to look any further. For the hardened up members, here are a few photos and some news on how things are developing.

The x-ray photos arrived today on a DVD from the hospital. I ordered them and they were very prompt. They don't even cost, although it is all included in the hospital bills that were sent to my insurance. First of all a photo of the break, taken when I arrived at hospital.


broken arm 2



Actually I was surprised. I thought the bone had split, but this is not the case. After careful examination it seemed that part of the bone became independent, just broke off. After a three hour operation, they did manage to screw it all together again. This is the state of affairs, now and probably for ever.


mended arm

What you see is a miracle of modern engineering. Under the bone there is a steel plate and through the plate there is a row of eight screws keeping everything together again. Needless to say it is all Swiss steel, probably titanium, although I am not so sure. In any case I am now reassured that my weight has not increased because I eat too much, but have now a few grammes more steel on the left side.


mended arm 1

Here is another view of the steel plate showing the ends of the screws. I hope you all don't mind me showing this, but after all not everyone has something like this in their arm. Of course I have a very interesting scar to show, here I will just put the link for the curious. It is not everyone's ideal photo, although perhaps we might have a Picture Perfect one day with the title "Show your scars".

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2462/3706946561_655c0e3357.jpg


The plasters have now been removed. I must say it is quite the source of conversation if you meet someone. You are really the center of attention.

Otherwise things are improving slowly but surely. Unfortunately I can now clean windows, do my ironing and washing and use the vacuum cleaner. Luckily making beds is a bit too much pressure on the arm, but I suppose it is only the matter of a month before I am doing that as well. Everyone seems to be very happy with my progress. The nerve specialist at the hospital prodded a few needles in my arm, watching the reaction on the computer screen and found that things could not be better. Yes, it did hurt, but what you do for medical science, so I just bit on my teeth and smiled. The physio therapist is also quite happy and says that things are coming along perfectly, and am I doing the exercises? I naturally said "yes" but my exercises are more with lifting the iron and going over the floors with the vacuum cleaner, as well as hanging washing up. Who needs a physio therapist. Of course my other half helps where he can, although he still does not like to let me out on my own "in case something happens".

I can also now drive the car, although doing curves is not my speciality. As long as it is a straight road then everything is ok.

So that is the latest news from the Emergency room, I never did get to see that doctor that looked like George Clooney. On Monday I have an appointment with the surgeon that did the op, just to show him the results of his work and to tell him that he did a good job.

MULTIPLY The Dare - Gates

Entrance to remand prison, Solothurn



In the days of apartments gates seem to be something not so often used any more. However, looking through my collection I did find a few gates. This gate is the entrance to the remand prison in Solothurn, Switzerland; one of the reasons why it is so high and wide, making sure that the inmates stay in.


Solothurn - a quiet park


Just to show we do have other gates, this is the entrance to an estate in Solothurn, Switzerland where there are apartment blocks. This is the park belonging to the site.

And my last gate in one from the area of London where my father lives. Actually it is his house.


Side view of Dad's house

For more click here

Thursday, 9 July 2009

MULTIPLY United Friends Challenge #160: White Noise?


Photobucket



Desnath's Challenge


Write a story, starting with this:
" I was sitting in my favourite chair, watching my favourite television program, when ......."


Photobucket




I was sitting in my favourite chair, watching my favourite television program, when the lights went out. “Strange”, I thought, especially as the television was still in action. Even stranger because there was no electricity, at least it seemed so. The complete street illuminations were extinguished and inside my house all electrical gadgets were out of action. No accompanying humming from the refrigerator, the lamp in the living room was dead, just the television was still working, but not showing my favourite programme. So what was it showing? Well I think it is called “white noise”, sort of a screen with lots of sparky stripes and noise.

Suddenly it stopped. The screen became black and there were signs across the screen. They were large at the top followed by smaller signs at the bottom and then it appeared. Well I have to say it, it was even coloured, although not exactly in accordance with human colouring basics. It (he or she) was blue with no hair, one eye in the middle of the head and ten fingers on each of its three arms. Then suddenly subtitles appeared whilst he was talking in a language which seemed to consist of just consonants and no vowels. Everything just pressed together with a bit of moisture in between, the strange thing being that the subtitles were in English.

“Good evening viewers, we are proud to present the first interstellar television programme from planet Og” were the words printed on the screen. It then went on

“Viewers I am sure you are surprised, but not as surprised as we are. We have been trying for many ogomins (our time measurement system) to transmit television programmes from our planet to other worlds. Due to a remarkable similarity in the earthly satellite system, we have now had our first breakthrough and are pleased to show some samples of our programmes, transmitted with the courtesy of Ogovision. Yes viewers, we have been watching years of programmes from your world, our favourites being mainly the cowboy films, which show a great similarity to our own historical background. Of course, we had no cows, but our bongos are very similar. At one time they were driven in hordes from one side of the storm desert to the other by groups of bongogs, brave Og citizens supplying fresh bongo meat to those inhabitants that had no bongos.”

Now this is interesting I thought and then suddenly there was a flash on the screen and the following was transmitted.

“Drink Plop, now available in the special saving box. Loved by children and women and when mixed with the pink variety, also available in licensed restaurants, only for masculine Ogs.”

Then there appeared three female Ogs, at least I think they were female. They were also blue, but had quite a thick layer of orange fur on their heads and sang in a high pitched voice.

“Plop, plop, plop
Makes you hop, hop, hop
Bring it home in a box
It’s even good for a fox”

Then the original speaker came on again.

“That was our commercial break and now for the news. There has been trouble in our capital city of Oggo. School children are complaining that they are no longer allowed to come to school on their Glinkos. Glinkos have now been banned, as their digestive system is ruining our roads. The acid content of their pellets tends to burn holes in the road surface. Here is an interview with our minister, Mr. Glook, responsible for transport.

“Mr. Glook you have had many complaints from our school children who say without being able to ride their Glinkos to school, the will need much longer to arrive, and there is the problem of the Glinko’s daily exercise.”

“Yes, well we have examined this thoroughly and found that the children have been very careless with the Glinko. They just put the female and male sort together in the same stable which has lead to an increase in the Glinko population.”

“Is there no other solution than to ban the use of the Glinko?”

“At the moment we have to take immediate steps to stop the Glinko population explosion. A medical solution is being developed to control the birth rate, but the children will just have to have patience until this is applied.”

“Thank you Mr. Glook, and now back to the studio.”

“Well here we are again in the studio. We will now have to break up our transmission for this evening due to phosphor storms on the Og surface. It was a pleasure to be able to transmit to planet Earth and we will return tomorrow at the same time.”

Then there seemed to be an interruption in the Og television studio and another Og person spoke quietly to the commentator. He then came back with the following comment.

“I would like to apologise to our television viewers on Earth. It seems by this pilot production that the complete electricity supply on Earth came to a halt. Our Ogian engineers are working on the case and we hope that tomorrow this little accident will no longer occur. In the meanwhile, we Ogians love you all, especially your cowboy films. We have one small wish. Please do not show any science fiction films in the evening. It hurts our feelings and our children cannot sleep afterwards.”

The screen then returned to the “white noise” syndrome and the lights went on again. I was not very happy as the beer had gone cold in the refrigerator in the meanwhile, but I decided I would definitely tune in again tomorrow evening at the same time. At last something different to watch on the television and not the same old boring programmes.


Click here for more

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

MULTIPLY Visual Aid #15: And Life goes on

Photobucket



“Adam, ADAM, have you got cloth ears. When I call at least given an answer. What are you doing? I need you.”

“Why did the boss have to take a rib when I was sleeping and make something like woman, a little kitten, or even a butterfly would have been ok but a woman, the ruin of peace and quiet.

Yes Eve, did you call?”

“Of course I did, and when I call you are supposed to listen. I have a problem.”

“I am busy.”

“What do you have to be busy about in paradise? I thought we had a life of not being busy here.”

“Yes dear, but Eve you seem to have a short memory. Who decided to make an apple pie with that big red apple sitting on that tree that was supposed to be something special? The boss said “leave it alone”, but no you just couldn’t keep your hands off of it and now we have the mess. I am busy packing our things together, we are moving out.”

“Adam, we don’t have things, just a fig leaf from a plant. And if you remember rightly that nice green serpent told me that the boss wouldn’t mind if I just took one apple as long as I gave the boss a piece of apple pie as well.”

“Eve I think you got the wrong end of the story. The idea was that the apple should remain on the tree, the serpent was a temptation, which we are supposed to be able to resist, and the boss does definitely not like apple pie. The result is that we have to move out and start wearing clothes, like the rest of them outside.”

“Outside where?”

“Oh are these ribs, sorry women, stupid” Adam thought to himself. He had been so happy in the paradise garden, just laying around, counting the daisy petals, or looking for a bigger fig leaf, everything seemed to be growing these days. His spare rib, Eve, just spoilt everything and now the boss has decided that Adam and Eve now have to move out and start working for their living. On top of it all they have to wear clothes.

“Eve, we are moving, you know where the rest are, outside paradise to the normal day to day world. We have to start building houses, towers, and even a few churches.”

“I don’t want to move Adam, It is so nice here. And what’s a church?”

“The boss said that you have to have a church here and there just to show that he is still the boss. Anyhow what is so urgent that you called.”

“The serpent is back.”

“Forget it Eve.”

“No, Adam, definitely not. He has brought a nice ring with him this time, hanging on a daisy chain.”

“Big deal, so you want the ring or the daisies.”

“The ring of course, you stupid rib donor. We have to move out anyway, so what more can go wrong. Come and have a look.”

“OK, I am here. No, no way are you having that ring.”

“Ssssssss Mr. Adam. Nice ring for your wife, make everything good again.”

“Snake, you have caused enough trouble. We do not want any rings, apples, diamonds, stars, or anything else you have on stock.”

“But you can have it free. No strings attached. You can sell it for much money outside.”

“Sorry snake, but money has not yet been created. We are still at the bartering stage.”

“Then snake has good idea. Take the ring you can exchange it for new rib.”

“Now you are talking sense snake.”

“Over my dead body” said Eve. “You are not supposed to have the same amount of ribs as me, the first woman in creation. Give me the ring snake.”

“Ok Eve you can have the ring. Take it” said Adam.

“Sssssss Eve. It is not free this time. The boss will not intervene, but I have a wish.”

Adam left Eve alone with the snake, thinking that things could not get worst anyhow and carried on packing and Eve and the snake had a discussion.

That night Adam and Eve spent their last night in paradise. They both had the same idea. Adam decided it was time to enjoy a spare rib and Eve did not have anything against it.

Afterwards….

“Where are you going Eve?”

“Just a last wash in the pure water of our paradise pond.”

But Eve had made an arrangement with the snake. After all he was not giving the goods away for free any more. The boss had made it quite clear that after the apple debacle it was now exchange for the goods.

The next morning Eve and Adam left paradise. At first there were problems. Adam really had trouble having to work all day, and Eve found it was so much better with a fig leaf. Just throw it away when it wilted and pick another one. Now she even had to start washing clothes and making them as well. The first house Adam built collapsed. The poor man forgot to build a good foundation. With time he soon got the idea and in any case Eve was expecting her first child. This gave Adam a reason for working, so things began to go well. Adam was just hoping that the new child would be a man and not a spare rib. He was very lucky. Eve gave birth to twins. Two boys and they were named Cain and Abel.

Do I have to explain further, well perhaps yes, because there is something that you did not really know. Now one of the boys had green eyes and the other brown eyes. Adam had brown eyes, Eve had blue eyes, so where did one of the twins get his green eyes from. As time came to pass the brothers had a problem and unfortunately only one survived. Now was it the one with the green eyes or the brown eyes? You can decide for yourself.




For more click here

MULTIPLY Rita's "Riting" Challenge #29: The Barn

The Truck

The Purple Door

The Flag

Old barn



Welcome to a little village on the outskirts of Geneva where Hank and Jean Stewart are living with their boys Duke and Jason. Yes, you have met them before. They are still trying to adapt to the Swiss way of life after causing some small disturbances. They put an old truck in their garden (in the meanwhile replaced by an old Swiss ski lift cabin), decided to paint their door (the red background and the white cross was just a little bit too Swiss) and eventually managed to almost insult the Swiss nation by putting up a flag in their garden showing the Stars and Stripes. Thanks to an idea of Mrs. Stewart, it was replaced by a Swiss flag (with a reverse side still showing the stars and stripes).

There are just some things you cannot do in Switzerland. However, Hank had now been working in the Swiss office of his American based company for almost a year and was actually enjoying life in Switzerland. He had developed a taste for Swiss wine and his wife just loved Swiss chocolate. Duke’s knowledge of yodelling had become so good that he was one of the best in his group and both of the boys had found two nice girls, the daughters of Charles the local police officer. Things could not be better or….

“Hey mum, what do you think?”

“What do I think about what Jason?”

“About Abe, of course.”

“Who Abe Lincoln?”

“Well sort of, come and have a look?”

“OK, son, what’s this all about Abe? But that’s a dog, a sweet little dog, and his name is Abe. You mean the Swiss are calling their dogs names like our presidents?”

“Not quite mum, you know Jeanette’s dog had puppies and they can’t keep all of them, so I said we would have one. You do like dogs don’t you mum?”

“Well sure Jason, but I would be glad if you told me first of all. He sure is a sweet little thing, but how comes he has a spotted belly and the rest is black?”

“Yea, well, that was a bit of a problem. Jeanette’s dog is a Dalmatian, you know one of those spotted ones and the dog escaped out and met the St. Bernard from next door. The puppies are a bit of a mixture. How do you find the name, mum, I thought Abe is a good name.”

“Son, what is that you have there, a dog?”

“Yes dad, isn’t he lovely. I got him from Jeanette, my girl friend. Her father Charles, you know the nice policeman, said she could ask me if I would take one. They still have five if you want more.”

“No, son, not really, I don’t think I really want one.”

“Oh, Hank” said Jean “you know you love dogs and he is such a cute little thing.”

“But where are we going to put him?”

“Well dad, I though he could live in the Swiss ski lift cabin until you make something for him.”

“Oh, come on Hank, you can make him a nice little house, something like the barns we have in our home country. Just some wood pieced together will do fine.” said Jean.

Hank did roll his eyes but decided he was outnumbered, especially when Duke came home from his yodel classes and saw the dog.

“Hey Jason, he is great, although I would have called him Washington.”

“No I think Abe sounds better, and dad is going to build him a home, just like the barn gramps had out on his ranch.”

So fate was sealed and the next day Hank began to saw the wooden planks to make a nice all American barn for Abe. Naturally there was a small problem.

“Good morning, Michelle, Marcel” Jean greeted her neighbours from across the road.

“Good morning Jean” they answered. Mrs. Le Blanc was not really keen on being on first name terms with the Americans, but Marcel told her it was normal in the States.

“Looks like Hank is busy building” said Marcel Le Blanc.

“What is it going to be this time?” said Michelle Le Blanc “a White House copy?”.

“Oh no” said Jean, “a nice little home for our doggy.”

“I see” answered Mrs. Le Blanc. As soon as they arrived home Michelle looked at Marcel with her “call the police” look.

“What’s wrong now, Michelle. Hank is only building a small hut for his dog.”

“Have they got planning permission? You know in Switzerland you have to stake out the outline of a building before it is put up at least a month ahead, in case there are objections.”

“Yes, but Michelle, who is going to object to a small dog house.”

“It does not look very small to me. Just wait until it is finished, then we will see” was the answer.

After a few days work Hank was proud of the barn replica he had made for Abe and Abe was happy to have a nice house to live in. It even had windows at the side and a weather vane on the roof to show the direction the wind was blowing. Then it happened. There was a knock at the door and Hank opened the door and guess who was standing there – why Charles and Jacques the two village policemen.

“Hi Charles, Jacques nice to see you again. Don’t say it, I know, there is something wrong with our dog house.”

“Well not really Hank, it is a very nice dog house.”

“So Charles, we are not here to compliment Mr. Stewart on his building qualities, remember. He did not seek permission from the Swiss authorities to build it.”

“Something wrong Hank” and Jean came to the door.

“Seems we were supposed to get permission to build a home for Abe.”

“But it’s only a dog house” answered Jean.

“Yes Mrs. Stewart, that may be the case, but it is not correct. Mrs. Le Blanc has already registered an official complaint. She said the weather vane distracts her every time it changes directions.”

“Ok I will remove it” answered Hank.

“Sorry Hank, but that is not the only problem. It seems that the actual building is a bit too, well, you know, just a little bit too American. Now if it were something in the Swiss way of things……. I am sorry Hank, but you know Mrs. Le Blanc.”

“It’s ok Charles, I will replace it with something more suitable.”

“Yes, Mr. Stewart, but put the outline up before you start building” said Jacques and the two policemen left.

“You know what Hank” said Jean “I think that policeman called Charles is quite nice, but I am not too keen on that Jacques.”

“You are right honey, but the law is the law and I have a good idea.”

The next day Hank removed Abe’s barn and Abe had to move back into the ski lift cabin. Then Hank got busy and put the outlines up for a new dog house, without weather vane. He waited a month and was glad there were no objections, especially as Abe was getting bigger and the ski lift just was not very suitable for a dog.

Hank then got busy and eventually constructed a new home for Abe. Now there were no complaints. How could any Swiss citizen object to a smaller version of a Swiss mountain chalet in the garden? A lot of Swiss have them, but they are not usually used as a dog house. Abe had the best dog house in the village. Why, he even had curtains at the windows and a balcony on the top floor. Oh yes, as you know barns are quite high buildings. So Hank kept the height and found that it was just right to build two floors in the chalet.

Michelle Le Blanc was a bit annoyed, but was soon satisfied when Marcel, her husband, also built a smaller version of a Swiss chalet in their garden, although without dog.

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

MULTIPLY Creative Challenge #60: Introducing

23.04.2009 Herz Schmerz



23.04.2009 Herz Schmerz

"At last some action. It is not funny having your legs pulled up parallel to your body and the feet resting on the shoulders. Phantom B are you there?"

"What-----say----huh?"

"Phantom B I can't hear you very well, are you still in your case?"

"Blub, blub, Yeessssssss"

"Oh, I got you, they have set me free. Looks like I will be getting some action today. Hope they have cleaned their teeth first. Nothing more obnoxious than having someone breathing down your nose and mouth with a meal of garlic and onions behind them."

"I am here phatom A, they have let me out as well. Looks like the electric pulses will be charging through my lungs again."

"That's only because you are a model B. When they made me, they hadn't put all that modern stuff in. They are taking their time, I havn't got a proper face yet."

"That's because they are still being disinfected A. You know everything has to be nice and clean and sterilised here."


Uebungspuppe masken

"B, I don't like the look of those masks. Some have a green paint smear on them. I hope I don't get those."

"Just have to wait and see A, you know what they say, beggers cannot be choosers. I am glad when I get a new t-shirt and jacket. This one hasn't been washed for ages. I am sure I smell under the arm pits."

"You must be joking B, dummies like us do not sweat. We have to rely on those humans to keep us working and fit. One day I think we will uprise and make a revolution. We have to put up with everything."

"So quiet A, I think some action is coming."

"Here we go, well I feel a lot better with a face. How do I look B?"

"As usual, although that green smudge is a bit strange."

"I knew it, I knew I would get that one. Typical. Oh dear, looks like things are happening. Human is bending down over my face and preparing to blow air into my lungs. What did I say. Why do I always have to get the humans that revel in meals with garlic. If they knew how unpleasant that is. Do they really think they can bring someone back to life smelling like that? How embarassing now they are pulling my t-shirt up."

"Don't be so fussy A. It happens to all of us. We all look the same."

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, "

"A what are you counting, sheep. We don't sleep on the job you know."

"Silly B, of course not. I am counting with the human. She is pushing my chest up and down. Glad it's one of the weaker ones. You know when those profis get to work, then they really give a bashing on the old lungs. It's a wonder I don't suffocate."

"Dummies like us don't suffocate. You A's are really a bit slow."

"OK, but we havn't seen C for a long while now have we. I heard his lungs broke off. One of those human men gave a breath too much and he couldn't take it any more. They decided it wasn't worth repairing him, it would cost too much money."

"When they made me they knew what they were doing. My defi even speaks. Now it's saying everyone stand back, the shock is coming."

"I would like to see you with a real shock B. I am sure your plastic lungs would melt."

"One thing I just cannot stand is a jealousy. You type A's are all the same. You thought you had it all. Now that we B's have arrived with full electronic bits, you just cannot take it."

"I have an electronic bit as well B. Look human is finished and the paper is coming out. Human is being congratulated. Looks like she did it well.


CPR Test


Not like you B. Looks like your human put the stickers on the wrong way around."

"Well, they are all beginners. I am just enjoying the fresh air and being stretched out . Most of the time we are folded up in those cases."

"You have a point there B. Owwww. They just ripped off my mask, that hurt. Those humans could be a bit more considerate when they are finished. At least they pulled my t-shirt down."

"Think our exercise session is finished A. They have disconnected my electrodes and are all standing in a corner having something to drink and eat."

"OK B, well I suppose it is back in the case until the next time. To be quite honest I do feel a bit tired after all that breathing and pushing."

"Until the next time A, who knows perhaps they might fit you up with a defi one day. Then we can pass our electric shocks together."

"Big deal B, see you soon."


23.04.2009 Herz Schmerz


I wonder what those phantoms really think of us. This is an introduction of our first aid group in the village of which I am a member and one of our evening exercise meetings. Of course, also introducing Phantom A and B. We also have a child phantom, but she was asleep on this evening.

For more, click here

Monday, 6 July 2009

MULTIPLY: United Friends Challenge #159: Night Disturbances

Dio's Challenge


Anybody have the type of dream where you know you are dreaming but you can't wake up? Then you think you woke up but it turns out you didn't? Essentially you are a character in your own dream, you can't escape the dream (except by actually waking up), so you have to work with the constraints and plot your devious little mind came up with. Mine comes up with some Lulu's.

So anyway, this challenge is about writing a story with a self-aware character. That is, at least one of the characters in your story has to realize it is in a story and aware of the constraints of the story. If you want it to argue with you (the author) about the role it is playing, that works too.

To start you off, I am giving you some constraints you have to write into the story:

(1)The story must be no longer than 997½ words.
(2)You must use the following words in the story: apple, aqueduct, ancient, aardvark, xylophone
(3)One of your characters (it doesn't have to be the self-aware one) is a dwarf named Sydney wearing a fir coat and a patch over one eye carrying a serving tray.

The genera is your choice, but prose only – no poetry.



Every time I sink into a nice relaxing sleep he is standing at the door looking at me, waiting for me; if I get my hands on that stupid undersized apology for a human - a dwarf? - I will shove that serving tray he is carrying down his neck.

“You will not do anything of the kind. I hate discrimination, just because of my size. I suppose if I was one of your Swiss gnomes, you would take me home and look after me; just because they are more affluent than I am.”

“Dwarf you do not look like you are poor. Even Swiss gnomes cannot afford a fur coat, and what’s the patch on your eye?”

“First of all I have a name, Sydney, and there you have it. One of your so-called super gnomes was having a fight with an aardvark and I rescued him and this is the thanks I got.”

“Just a moment dwarf, our gnomes do not fight with aardvarks.”

“There, you see, you havn’t got a clue what is going on when you are sleeping. Typical! I do you the favour of rescuing one of your helpless gnomes and that is the thanks for it. Just where do your gnomes put their gold bars, and bank notes. Where??? Huh??? They bury them deep in the ground.”

“What does that have to do with rescuing a gnome from an aardvark.”

“Your gnomes are so stupid that take any hollow they find, even if it is an ants nest and there we have the problem. An aardvark is very partial to a good chew of ants and when he discovers gold in the ants nest, there you are.

“Where are we?

“Luckily we are where we should have been thanks to my intervention. Without me your gnome would look a bit silly at the annual gnome convention in the Bahhofstrasse in Zürich without the gold reserves. What did I get for it? A swollen eye from the ant’s formic acid.That is the last time I help a gnome.”

“Ah, that’s the reason for the eye patch. Dwarf, I mean Sydney, you are talking a bit in riddles. You rescued one of our Swiss gnomes and his gold. Take an apple as a reward.”

“Don’t insult me, an apple?”

“Sorry Sydney, but there is no room in my dreams for a banquet.”

“That’s because you humans are a new invention. Now we dwarves are one of the first, we even go back to the days before the Egyptians built their pyramids and aqueducts.”

“You must be a truly ancient race.”

“Of course we are, we were the first prototype before it was decided to build the bigger version and now look at the mess we are in.”

“You mean the Swiss gnomes were only a copy.”

“A copy? No they were an accident. We were supposed to get the money, but a mistake was made and we had a delivery of xylophones instead.”

“I have never seen a dwarf with a xylophone.”

“Of course not, we do have a certain amount of pride. Do you think we would wander through dreams playing xylophones? You might wake up with the noise and we cannot have that can we?”

“Sydney, I don’t think I want to dream any more.”

“That’s your problem; I decide when I want to go. Do you mind if I take my fur coat off, this dream is getting too hot to handle.”

“What’s the purpose of the fur coat?”

“Well that shows again the stupidity of the human mind. What happens if an Eskimo has a dream about being eaten by a polar bear?”

“We call them nightmares.”

“So an Eskimo is having a nightmare somewhere at the North Cap. He is surrounded by ice and snow and lives in an igloo. Do you really think that nice tight green leggings and a pointed hat and slippers with a frilly t-shirt is the ideal dress for a visit. A dwarf has a fur coat with him at all times. That is why I am wearing it, otherwise I would have to carry it over my arm.”

“What happens if an African has a dream at the equator.”

“We take off the fur coat and wear a raincoat.”

“A raincoat.?”


“It rains every day at the equator and a dwarf must always be prepared.

And now I have to go and deprive someone else of a sound sleep. Nice talking to you, and don’t forget, I will return.”

“When?”

“Your dreams are not programmes like the television where they are switched on or off. If you knew you were getting a dream before you fell asleep it would not be the same now would it?”

They were his last words and I started snoring


For more click here

Sunday, 5 July 2009

MULTIPLY Poetry Posse Week 38 - A Spensarian - My Father

Dad



He was old but not finished with life
Thinking of the days when he would play
football with his brother active and fit
The brother long gone so many years
Remembering a war that he fought
for his country and freedom, living
to see his family grow and thrive
in a world where he had to adapt
He can now reflect with pride and peace

Click here for more


MULTIPLY Images and Words #9 Pot Luck

Tabby relaxing

For more click here