Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Daily Feline Prompt: Your Feline No. 1

What was the #1 song when you were born? (not sure? you can find out here.) Write about how the song relates (or not!) to your personality.

Fluffy and Tabby

“Hey Tabby, that meows, look what I got for a song. “Shake Ya Tailfether” by Nelly, P. Diddy and Murphy Lee.”

“What are you talking about Fluffy. We felines do not have songs, just a plaintiff meow and you meow loud enough in the early morning hours when I am sleeping.”

“But the daily prompt says there was a No. 1 song when I was born. You have one as well Tabby. “Ain’t it Funny” by Jennifer Lopez.”

“Are you insinuating that my mum thought it was funny when I arrived. I was a beautiful kitten, and my MacDonalds “M” on my forehead was admired by all.”

“Tabby it is just a human song. You know like sometimes when Mrs. Human meows and we have to run and hide. My song tells me to shake my tail feather.”

“Since when do you have feathers on your tail Fluffy.”

“Well I did have a couple once when I caught a bird in my seeing days.”

“I remember, and Mrs. Human was not at all pleased, although humans have other standards of enjoyment. She would probably have shaken her tail feather to that song if she had ever heard it.”

“But she doesn’t have a tail feather either Tabby. Do you think this hit parade list thing was actually meant for the birds.”

“I don’t know who it was meant for Fluffy, but both titles seem to be quite strange.“

Topic Generator: Motionless Mail

Shadow of the bird

“Plop” and the mail fell through the letter box to the floor. Just a few advertisements and a free newspaper all about the latest developments in computers. Everyone wanted to be the first with their new inventions. You could now even send e-mails without paying a charge, although that did not bother the letter box. It was just doing a job, fixed into the door and opening its mouth for anything the postman or newspaper boys wanted to throw into it.

The human that owned the letter box was no longer interested. She stopped running to the letter box each time she heard the tumble of paper onto the floor beneath. She knew she should have fixed a metal cage to the box. The bending to pick up the latest arrivals would have been saved. All she would have to do would be to open the cage and carry the post to the living room where she could look at it. The last letter she opened was from the lottery fund. Such an important letter, and even sent with a registered stamp. Should she tear it open - no, definitely not. The contents would definitely be serious and she did not want to destroy them. What could it be? 

She filled in the numbers weekly on the form she picked up at the local post office. She always did the same numbers, 20-4-19, 10-6-20. That was Alfred’s birthday and her own. She had used these numbers since the lottery began and once she even won £10. Alfred had been gone for some time, but it was the three numbers of his birthday that won the money. She put the money away, knowing that there would soon be an electricity bill to pay, and on her pension she was glad for every few pounds extra. It was not easy managing on your own. Luckily she discovered that if she walked through the market at the end of the day there would be some leftovers that the stall holders were glad to give away. She would cut away the brown soft parts of the apple and she also discovered that the overripe bananas could be quite tasty. Oranges were to be avoided, especially if they were soft and squashy. 

There was a knife in the kitchen drawer: no longer as sharp as it was when it was new, but she could not even remember when she bought it. Was it ten years ago? Luckily it still cut through paper, although the paper was a little frayed at the edges from the blunt blade. Now was the time to open the important envelope from the lottery people. Perhaps she had again won £10, it would be useful for paying for some nice fresh oranges, not leftovers from the market and there would be something left for a piece of meat for a Sunday dinner.

She made a fine slit in the edge of the envelope and a cheque fell out. For a cheque she had to put on her glasses, as her sight was no longer like it used to be. The numbers were a little misty, and her hands were shaking. Over the years she no longer could concentrate as she used to. After a few minutes she was holding the cheque firmly in her hand and read the amount. £50,000…….

Everything became fixed. It seemed that the birds outside her window were no longer moving, but her heart was no longer beating and so the money is still waiting at the Lottery fund to be picked up, as well as the post piling on the floor beneath the mailbox. 

She now only received motionless mail.

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Windows 10

I was going to post this in Facebook, but decided no, I am not one of those facebookers that tell everyone what I am doing all day - although a crossposting will occur, so facebookers watch this spot.

They did not forget me after all. Today I got a message from Bill Gates (at least his followers). Your free Windows 10 upgrade is ready to go. In the meanwhile I am not ready to go. I will not do this to my windows 7 computer, because it is not broken and needs no repair work. I will be patient and wait. Am aiming for a new computer with Windows 10 already installed later this year (with SSD drive).

And now to finish my breakfast, tidy up the place and yes, clean the bathroom. No matter how good a new Windows system is, it does not clean my bathroom or hoover my home.

Have a nice day everyone wherever you are, and don't forget, your computers are waiting.

Daily Feline Prompt: Golden Feline Age

If you had to live forever as either a child, an adolescent, or an adult, which would you choose — and why?

Tabby sleeping between the plants

“Just leave me with such stupid questions, I need my beauty sleep.”

“But Tabby, it says in our prompt that we can choose how we would like to be.”

“And? You are fluffy, aged 12 human years and I am Tabby aged 13 human years, what do you want to change. Would you really like to be a kitten all your life, or learn how to hunt birds and mice all over again? We have learned all there is to learn, and done it all. I just want a quiet feline life, no problems, a daily dish of food that I do not have to hunt.”

“But we could have fun with our brothers and sisters, like when we were kittens again.”

“Fluffy do you remember what your brothers and sisters looked like?”

“No, no really, I think they were like me.”

“Oh, great. The only sister I remember is Nera, because she lived with me until she went to the eternal corn chambers last year.”

Oh yes Tabby, I remember Nera, but I don’t think she liked me.”

“Nera only liked herself Fluffy. When I think of it, actually I only like myself as well.”

“There you see Tabby. We all have something in common, we all like ourselves most of all.”

“So now we have confirmed what we all know Fluffy, we can all go back to sleep. Yes that is my choice Fluffy, 23 hours a day sleeping.”

“But we still have another hour.”

“Ok, then look for somewhere to sleep or eat.”

“Oh Tabby, you are so wise.”

Topic Generator: Prickly Exam


All she had to do was answer a few questions, about roses of course. Myrtle was a hobby gardener and just loved roses. She had all sorts: pink, yellow, orange and of course red, but so did the neighbours. She then saw an advertisement in the “Gardeners Weekly”. 

“Are you a rose expert? Name the various rose sorts shown below in the photos and if you are lucky you will win our exclusive new rose “Black Death”. “

Or course Myrtle wanted to own a Black Death rose. Ok, it was not a pretty rose, but it would be something no-one else had and so she spent the evening ploughing through her collection of Rose books and filled out the competition slip answering the questions. 

“That was easy” she thought “nothing difficult there, and most of them I knew without looking in my book”. The next day she sent her competition entry off to Dark Rose Developments, Cemetery Lane, Vulcania Town, Carpathia. She noticed that the address was in another country, but the post office had no problems. A week later a parcel arrived from Carpathia with an accompanying letter and certificate.

“Congratulations, you are now the proud possessor of our newest rose “Black Death”. We have also enclosed a bottle of our special fertiliser and would advise only to use this to ensure that the rose remains unique, as well as our certificate of Authenticity which can be displayed next to this unique rose.”

This was beyond Myrtle’s dreams of success. She had visions of people stopping  by her garden and admiring her unique rose. She would definitely win a prize at the next horticultural show in town. She unfolded the certificate and read “We confirm that this is a first edition of a new and individual rose sort, created in the Dark Rose Development Institute in Carpathia and that Myrtle Ramsbottom has been registered as a unique owner of such a rose.”. It was printed in large red letters on black background and looked very important. Myrtle fixed it to the stem of the rose bush when she planted it in the garden.

“Ouch” she said as it seemed one of the thorns on the rose had decided to prick her finger. She even had to put a plaster on her finger to stop the bleeding. She then examined the black flask containing the fertiliser, also with red letters stating “Black Death Rose Fertiliser, to be applied daily”.

Myrtle poured a little of the fertiliser, a red liquid, into her watering can and diluted it with some water as was instructed in the leaflet accompanying the fertiliser. She found the liquid had a very penetrant smell with a sort of iron aroma,  but decided that Black Death roses were something special and needed a special fertiliser.

The next morning she went to the garden to see how her rose was developing and surprise, two more buds had opened showing the glossy black petals. She was a little sad however. It seems that a bird had flown to close to the rose bush and had injured itself on the thorns. The bird was now dead and so Myrtle removed it. She did not want the neighbours to see. That week she daily removed dead birds and mice from the surroundings of the bush. She was a little worried about the neighbour’s cat, knowing that curiosity killed the cat. Actually the bush did not kill the cat, but it seemed that Tiddles was not longer the cuddly little black fur ball he was, but his teeth grew longer and he even tried to kill the dog. Luckily the dog escaped, being a greyhound.

And so the rose bush grew and grew and grew and there was silence in Myrtle’s garden. No longer were there chirping birds and the only animal that visited the garden was Tiddles, who became a good friend to Myrtle, her only friend. And the injury on her finger from the thorn’ It eventually healed although Myrtle found herself having to remove a few drops of blood now and again.  Eventually people began to talk about Myrtle. She was very rarely seen during day, only in the evening when she often took a walk through the surroundIing forest accompanied by Tiddles the black cat who no longer meowed but howled. People began to avoid her, especially on full moon nights. Yes that was a prickly exam she took, but she won the Black Death rose and had something in the garden that no-one else had.

Monday, 31 August 2015

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Decisions

How are you more likely to make an important decision — by reasoning through it, or by going with your gut?

Tabby portrait

“All reasonable feline decisions are made by gut.”

“What’s gut Tabby?”

“One of those human expressions, mainly applied by our telepathic feline friends in the land of hamburgers and French Fries.”

“Oh, I love hamburgerTabby, but the french fries are more in the human line of things.”

“Not necessarily Fluffy. I am a so-called carbohydrate feline and am quite partial to a morsel of French fry or even a potato chip, but to answer your question the “gut” would be our digestive system.”

“So we make our important decision through our digestive system which is very logical. If it moves and is smaller than you, kill it and afterwards eat it, being that it is not slimy like a snail, or does not have a bitter taste like a bug.”

“Very wise Fluffy. Yes, we do not just pounce, and eat. We kill, think about it, examine it, have a sniff and then of course eat it.”

“And that is how we arrive at an important decision.”

“Yes, Fluffy. If it is bigger than you, run before it can think about chasing you and head for the cat flap. Then wave a paw from the other side. If it waves back it means that it is still ready and waiting, and then the best decision would be to have a sleep and hope that it might disappear in the meanwhile.”

“What if it doesn’t disappear?”

“Than sleep a little longer Fluffy. We felines are very patient.”

“And if the other is also a feline?”

“Fluffy, don’t ask stupid questions, decide for yourself.”

“Ah, I see Tabby, you always say that when you don’t know the answer.