Daily Feline Prompt: The Pawing System

If the world worked on a barter system, how would you fare? Would you have services to barter?

“Ok Tabby, you can have a chicken, but give me a tuna fish in exchange.”

“First of all Fluffy, how do you want to catch the chicken, and how will you get a tuna fish. Chickens are too big for your paws and tuna fish only exists in tins and Bastet is still working on the paw friendly tin opener.”

“Oh, you mean I have to deliver the real thing. I though it was a human thing, exchanging picture cards.”

“Fluffy, we are felines, we do not exchange picture cards. Do you see picture cards hanging on my wall? No, but you might see a few remnants of a devoured bird or mouse, if I happen to be lucky enough to catch one. Unfortunately as the years go bye, my reactions are not what they used to be, and as you do not see, it would be very difficult to work on such a system.”

“I don’t see, but I can smell and I feel the vibrations when livestock is nearby. With my special pawpad for blind felines (what’s blind?) I can collect my pictures online by feeling the outlines. I know, let’s ask Roschti, the ginger tom next door, if he has something to barter with?”

“Fluffy you have some strange ideas, but that is one of the strangest up to now. We do not talk with inferior felines and especially not with Roschti. The only thing Roschti might barter is a paw swipe and scratch, which I would only be too happy to exchange with him.”

“But Tabby, the last time you saw Roschti you ran away, so I don’t think even a feline fight would happen. And he is such a nice cat. I am sure he would let us have a tin of tuna fish for some catnip.”

“So am I Fluffy, but you see Roschti knows that the paw friendly tin opener has not yet been invented by Bastet, (may the gods inspire him) and so that would be typical Roschti. We would watch as he gets high on our best quality catnip and he would snigger behind his paws as we try to open the tin.”

“You mean bartering will not work.”

“Fluffy forget it. Play with your pictures and I will count my missed chances of kill in sleep.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Third does not exist in Meow

Head to "Blogs I Follow" in the Reader. Scroll down to the third post in the list. Take the third sentence in the post, and work it into your own.

“We have a problem Fluffy.”

“No food left in the bowl?”

“No, food is not our only problem.”

“It’s my only problem. Tell Mrs. Human to fill it up.”

“There is food Fluffy, but the daily feline prompt is a problem.”

“Why? Is it your turn today or mine?”

“It says something about “Blogs I follow”. We do not follow blogs, We are felines not dogs and follow no-one. We do our own thing.”

“What else does it say?”

“We have to scroll down to the third post on the list and write about the third sentence.”

“But Tabby, we are only programmed for No. 1, second and third is unimportant.”

“I know, it must be a human thing. Let’s just do it our way, as usual. I noticed that the ginger tom from next door did not follow yesterday, but it was a completely human mistake.”

“Must have been Tabby, felines do not make mistakes, unless confused by a human. What happened?”

“It seems it was tuna fish day, although that is a mistake in itself. Felines are programmed to eat tuna fish daily, it is only the humans that have things like organisation. Anyhow Mr. Human was in charge as Mrs. Human was writing her human bloggy stuff. He decided to put the bowl of tuna outside in the garden.”

“He did what? But we always have our bowls of food inside.”

“I know, another human big idea. They think because the weather is warmer and the sun is shining we want to eat outside. We were not asked. Anyhow as usual we did not eat it all and left some for later, after our wash and sleep. In the meanwhile Roschti, the ginger tom, invaded our territory and saw the half full dish.”

“Oh no, I can imagine the rest. Did you fight bravely for our rights to finish the dish.”

“Sorry, I was sleeping, remember and so were you. I had my usual one eye half open in case something happened.”

“And you let him eat it all?”

“Do you really think I was going to risk my whiskers in a fight with a subordinate ginger tom for half a dish of tuna fish?”

“And that was why there was none left, just a dish of vitamin dried pellets?”

“That’s the way the tuna flakes, as we felines say.”

“Did Mr. Human at least defend our rightful possession.”

“Forget it. “Look Mrs. Human, Roschti is eating the remainder of the tuna fish, ha, ha, ha” he said. He actually thought it was funny.”

“Typical human. I think we should disown him for ignoring our rights.”

“So do I, but there is a problem.”

“If we do that we have to ignore his pathetic attempts to feed us further bowls of tuna fish. He would not be there to open the tin.”

“And Mrs. Human?”

“Mr. Human would probably tell her we are ungrateful felines and would join him. Sort of human assistance support organisation.”

“There is only one solution, we will go on strike and sleep all day.”

“Somehow I don’t think that will make an impression.”

“We could hire a killer to depose of Roschti.”

“Oh, great, but as far as I know, Roschti is the only killer we can hire in our area.”

“Let’s just sleep it over. What was that prompt, the third post and the third sentence. Let me see.”

“Won’t work, we don’t have the word “third” in meow.”

“Let’s sleep it over.”

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WordPress Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Tourists

What’s your dream tourist destination — either a place you’ve been and loved, or a place you’d love to visit? What about it speaks to you?

“Roschti, what are you doing on our cat gymnastic centre?”

“Hi Tabby, I am on holiday. It is always good to see what is on the other side of the fence.”

“But not our fence. Mrs. Human Roschti is sleeping on our gymnastic centre.”

“I know Tabby, but she did ask. She found a change of air would do her good. She said you can visit her cat gymnastic centre as well, if you want to.”

“Mrs. Human we are felines and we do not visit each other. At least not without an ulterior motive, like he gets tuna fish every day, or has a diamond studed cat flap, which we have been wanting for a long while. Roschti move, you are in the wrong place at the wrong time. Hissss, hiss.”

“Now felines be kind to each other, Roschti is really not doing any harm.”

“Of course he is, he is trespassing in our territory.”

“Tabby what is that ginger freak doing on our cat gymnastic center. I can smell him in the next room.”

“Fluffy, Mrs. Human seems to be having one of those human moments, like “be kind to Roschti day” and I am explaining that we are never kind to Roschti. He smells and is not welcome. Mrs. Human are you going to throw him out or do we and Fluffy have to do it.”

“I thought he could stay for a while. He looks so sweet and comfortable and you were both sleeping in your pole position on top of the cupboard.”

“Hissss, hiss.”

“Oh dear now Roschti is annoyed felines.”

“You bet Mrs. Human, either you or me will throw him out.”

“Hissss, OK, I am going, no peace in this place. Just something I want to do before I leave.”

“Foget it Roschti, no marking on our cat gymnastic centre, we do not need your feline pee, go.”

“Did you see that Mrs. Human, Roschti left breaking all speed records.”

“I think he got worried. Tabby was showing clawed paws and spitting rather loudly.”

“Mrs. Human, we moved in a few years ago and you still don’t know Chapter 1, verse 2 of the book of Bastet.”

“Which is?”

“Mark your territory and do not allow other felines to sleep on your estate, particularly if they are of another kind. Do not tolerate invasions especially if they are of a different colour and sex.”

“Oh, I see. Where is this book of Bastet, I must read more.”

“In our feline heads Mrs. Human.”

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We have a problem

Bringing up kids was never easy, but if you had problems with them in school or otherwise and other kids were involved you spoke to their parents or the teachers and the problems were nearly always solved. Now what do you do when the problems arise with the cats. I will begin at the beginning.

I have made a few blogs about our new cat in the area, who I call Garfield. Well today I found out that his real name is Roschti which is the Swiss German equivalent of Rusty - a good name for a mixed ginger cat you might be thinking. So how did I discover his name - I had a conversation with his human. The next question being how did I get into a conversation with his human. Perhaps the following photo will explain it - it was taken at six o'clock this morning in our living room.

That is not one of our cats sleeping on the special cat play centre, that is Roschti, the new cat in the neighbourhood, also known as Garfield by me. This morning I was awakened by my alarm clock at six as usual. My first movement (after the visit that we all make first thing in the morning) is to see if my cats are at home and where they are. When I arrived in the living room I saw that Fluffy was walking around on his way to the kitchen and then I saw Roschti sleeping peacefully on my cat's play centre. He didn't even move his ears, he opened his eyes, saw me and closed them again. I had to alarm Mr. Swiss, whose first reaction was - take a photo. We Swiss have to keep every thing on record, so I took two, just to be sure.

Tabby and Nera the other two cats had retreated to the spare room/office and were sitting there waiting to see what Mrs. Human was going to do with this intruder. First of all Mr. Swiss and I tried to get friendly with the newcomer, but he seemed to be on guard and answered with a pawing movement as if to say if you come nearer I will scratch. My next reaction was to clap very loudly. This seemed to do the trick as Roschti was back to ground level in no time and marched direction window which we opened and let him out.

I then went to work as everything seemed to be more or less back to normal. How did he get in? We have a cat flap which is closed for the cats indoors, meaning they can only go out if we open the door. This meant that when Roschti was in he was in and no chance he could get out on his own. The cat flap is steered by a magnet system. There is a magnet on the flap and our cats each have a collar with a magnet. When they come in the flap automatically opens, basically only for cats with the magnet. Roschti does not have a magnet. However, Roschti is stronger and a bit bigger than our cats and our stupid cats run away from Roschti and Roschti chases them. If he uses his full strength he can probably push his way through the cat flap when our cats are trying to escape. It was really a wonder that we didn't have a full cat fight at home through the night, but everything seemed to be quiet.

Next part in the plan of action was to visit Roschti's human. Mr. Swiss found this was something women can do better than men (I always knew if women ruled the world, it would be a much better place). Anyhow when I got home from work I went on the search for Mrs. Roschti. Suddenly the source of all feline evil crossed my path, so I following the ginger cat to his home and rung the bell. Roschti's human opened the door - a very nice woman (a bit younger than me, which is not so difficult) and we had a nice discussion about cats. I found her opening sentence was really sweet. She said that Roschti was a real renegade and yesterday night he didn't even come home. I explained that he stayed the night at our place and we both had to laugh. She told me his name is Roschti, because of his rust coloured coat, and also mentioned that his days here are numbered in this area (I had to suppress my smile of delight). Roschti actually belongs to her daughter who will soon be moving to where she can have a cat. The idea is that Roschti stays at home through the night, but mostly he is out for a moonlight stroll and does not come home.

Roschti has been operated and is a tom cat. His human did mention that they used to live next door to a dog owning family, but even their dog was frightened of Roschti (which didn't surprise me). At least we now know who this strange red haired cat belongs to, although I am not planning to stay up all night to see what happens. Mrs. Roschti did say that he does not like being drenched with cold water (already been done) and loud noises like clapping with your hands - also tried out. I really felt back to the days when my kids were at school, talking to their parents.

Perhaps my cats might get used to Roschti and sort of adopt him as big brother, but I don't think so. Funnily enough the only cat that is not frightened of him is our Fluffy. Perhaps it is because he is blind and just doesn't see him. Mr. Swiss told me that Fluffy was having a good sniff at the cat centre today where Roschti spent the night. We hope that Roschti finds his way home this evening and does not decide to make a sleepover at our place.

Any suggestions for an improvement of the situation are gladly accepted.