Daily Prompt: Stroke of Midnight

Where were you last night at midnight? Would you have wanted to be somewhere else?

What an original question to ask on 1.1.2016, at least it would be if it had not already been asked on 1.1.2013 by the same Daily Prompt people. Yes it was another deja vue, one of many we have been suffering for the past year, at least I have. 

Was I in bed, was I taking a walk in the crisp New Year air, was I at a rip-roaring party for golden oldies perhaps. No, I was at home in my armchair watching the TV.

“You don’t have to wait up if you don’t want to” said Mr. Swiss, noticing my eyes having a sort of far away sleepy look. It was 11.30 and so I decided what difference will 30 minutes make. I will do it, stay up until midnight. I was even too tired to read my new book.

I had finished my Swedish crime book, in german, “Die Menschen die es nicht verdienen” (the people that do not deserve it), by Horth and Rosenfeldt, the fifth in a row of stories concerning a  police department in Sweden, particularly their criminal psychologist Sebastien Bergman. I have now read all five and enjoyed them. As far as I can see these books have not yet been translated from Swedish into English and so I have read them all in german and they are good.

I now have the choice to read something new. My decision had been made in a reading group I belong to online, Bestsellers and Literature. They are having a group read on the book “Ready Player One” by Ernest Cline. Not really my sort of thing but it has been highly recommended. We are in the future world of gaming in 2041 when our world has nothing left because it is all disintegrating. I like a bit of sic fi, and so decided to try this. Mr. Swiss is absolutely not interested, not his sort of thing. I am still trying to encourage him to read something else, but he is a crime fan.

Anyhow I decided to download this book to my Kindle. My Amazon is the German group, .de, but no problem they have it all in english if you find it. Unfortunately now and again I do not find it and by error download the german version. I can read german with no problem, but if the book is originally written in English, then of course I prefer the english. I dowloaded the wrong copy, the german edition, and only discovered this error on the first page. There is no way to return, or undownload,  the book and so I was forced to download the english version as well. Now I have it in two languages and am still trying to persuade Mr. Swiss to read it on my iPad in the original german. Anyhow I have read the first 30 pages and am convinced, this is going to be a good read.

I started the book yesterday evening, but as it was now near to midnight I shifted my concentration to the TV. One of this New Year German music parties was being shown, actors and people celebrating in the studio which was probably already filmed in Summer. I often wonder how people can dance a polonaise with heatwave temperatures and the sun shining all dressed in their New Year party clothes showing laughing and happy faces and toasting with their glass of champagne.

The scene changed on the TV and we were in a Swiss town where the bells were ringing. I looked at Mr. Swiss and said

“Isn’t that Solothurn?”, which is our local town.

“Yes it is, they are bringing the New Year from Solothurn this year.”

At last something worth watching, and so we saw our local cathedral, the streets of the town live at midnight, but almost completely empty, and everything in a pink tinged mist. They took us up to the belfry in the tower of the cathedral, which was very familiar to me as I once did the death defying climb up the stairs and of course took a few photos on the way. Happy New Year everyone, and WordPress please, please do not bring this prompt again next year. After 4 years of writing daily prompts I would like to see something different and original.

Daily Feline Prompt: Coming to a Whisker Near You

Paw a summary of the book you’ve always wanted to write for the back cover of its dust jacket.

“Tabby, how comes you are wearing glasses and have a book and pen in front of you with a strange glass full of yellow liquid which resembles my marking liquid.”

“Fluffy, I am writing a book and this photo is for the back cover of the dust jacket.”

“Your book will get dusty?”

“No Fluffy it is just a way of speaking.”

“But it might get dusty if no-one reads it.”

“My book will be a best seller Fluffy, it will not gather dust.”

“So what’s its all about?”

“It will be a thriller, I will call it “The Feline in the Night”.

“Nothing new, we all go for walks in the night. What have you written so far?”

“I have only just begun Fluffy. “It was a dark, windy night, the whiskers were twitching with mystery and dark forebodings”.

“What’s a foreboding Tabby?”

“Don’t ask silly questions Fluffy. It is a word often used by the classic paw writers of stories packed with suspense.”

“But my whiskers have never twitched like that, they only twitch if I notice there is a dish of tuna fish near.”

“Fluffy, how can I get people to read my best seller with such distraction. I am sure Edgar Allen Paw did not have such problems when he wrote his best seller “The Fall of the House of Paws”.

“But that was a super book, full of suspense to the last meow. Are you going to write something like that Tabby?”

“Something better of course. I will continue “a mouse crossed the path of the lonesome feline, disappearing into a dark space in the ground. There was a squeal, a hiss and …..”

“What comes next Tabby?”

“I don’t now, I think I will have to sleep it over. Writing books is not so easy for a feline. I will also have to find a publisher.”

“Perhaps Bastet might help.”

“No Fluffy, she is still writing her own book.”

Daily Prompt: Coming to a Bookshelf near you - The Life (and Death?) of Mortimer

Write a summary of the book you’ve always wanted to write for the back cover of its dust jacket.

Read this book at your own risk, and if you survive the horrors that will meet you on every page, you will discover the depths of the unknown.

Mortimer had committed many crimes, so many that he no longer knew when and how. He was an innocent child, but childhood was boring. It was when he set fire to his pram at the age of 2 that his mother had her doubts. “Just an accident” she thought, although it seemed strange that at this tender age he was able to empty a can of petrol onto the pram and throw a lighted match to ignite it. 

Was this just an accident, or was it Mortimer that had discovered a hidden power he had? His first thunderstorm was the trigger of further evil. School days had arrived and the other children disliked Mortimer, they found he smelt. So Mortimer was left outside in the playground on his own beneath an old Sycamore tree during a storm which happened to split into two halves when struck by lightening. Mortimer survived, although he discovered that his powers had increased and so the school was engulfed in flames during the storm, although the lightening had ceased. Some children reported seeing Mortimer walking in the school amongst the flames followed by demon similar figures. 

Time passed and Mortimer discovered his dream occupation. His mother and father were a little disappointed when he told them that Fred Murk, the local undertaker, was prepared to accept Mortimer as his apprentice, but if Mortimer was happy in his new job, then why not. It would at least keep him off the streets especially as the area where they lived was becoming notorious for the mysterious disappearances of various citizens. 

Mortimer enjoyed his work with Fred Murk and it seemed that the undertaker’s business began to flourish and there was never a shortage of burials when Mortimer joined the company. One day Fred Murk had a car accident. His car had an electronic defect and the charred remains of the car containing Fred were found. It is not everyone’s favourite work taking over an undertaker’s parlour but yes, Mortimer was ready, he knew the ropes (or coffins) and the business was now in his hands.

In the meanwhile he parents had an unfortunate accident, their gas cooker exploded. Now Motimer was alone, but not quite as he decided to search for a wife.  It was then that various females in the area disappeared and Mortimer gave up the idea of marriage. He now had more than enough to handle in his business. Particularly the amount of female customers seemed to increase.

What more can I say readers. Mortimer was successful, he became a leading citizen in the town and his life’s work was completed when he built his house combined with a mausoleum. I will not spoil the suspense by telling you the dark secrets in Mortimer’s life and how they were discovered by the local priest. The last chapter tells you what happened at the End of Mortimer’s Road. It will surprise you all.

WordPress Daily Prompt: Worldly Encounters

The friendly, English-speaking extraterrestrial you run into outside your house is asking you to recommend the one book, movie, or song that explains what humans are all about. What do you pick?

“Aaaahchoo! Aaahchoo!”

“What is that noise? Sounds like someone has a cold coming on. Who are you?” and there he was, complete with three eyes and an arm ending in a large something that looked like a  finger and thumb, he opened his mouth. I think it was a mouth, just a slit beneath the eyes.”

“I do not have a cold, but my beaming device was geared to living orgasms and I have landed in the middle of these feather balls which definitely have a negative effect on my breathing system. First of all, I will introduce myself. I am Bog, citizen of planet Flum and have been assigned to inform my folk of the cultural atmosphere on the planet Earth.”

“Yesterday I received a dead ancestor as a surprise from WordPress and today an extra-terrestrial. WordPress have their fingers everywhere. First of all I do not like extra-terrestrials landing in my garden. You have large flat feet that have left footprints in my lawn, so perhaps you could move over to the porch.”

He looked at me with all three eyes and a scrutinizing stare. He then hopped onto the porch with all three feet.

“That is better, so how can I help you?”

“Please to advise a good book, film or song that would characterise the complete atmosphere of this planet Earth. On our planet Flum we can only receive the television programmes, and it is difficult to decide which is the most typical of planet Earth. Is it perhaps The Simpsons, Sponge Bob or even Star Trek that show scenes of life on Earth? My personal favourite is The Simpsons, but the children on our illustrious planet Flum prefer Star Trek and sometimes watch an interesting programme called “News”, but I warned my sweet little kiddies that this “News” programme was not really for unformed minds: too much action and strange men all having different opinions. Personally I prefer the Simpsons, more similar to a normal family life. “

“Yes well Bog, I would perhaps not recommend to believe everything on the television, especially “News”. I think a book might be better so that you can form your own opinion of the Earth Culture.”

“Who are you talking to Mrs. Angloswiss?” and Mr. Swiss appeared on the porch. “Now he is sweet, I am sure the felines would love to play with him, or is he a food supplement? They love variety.”

“He is a sort of ET type sent by WordPress to gather some worldly culture.”

“WordPress again. But yesterday they sent your dead grandfather. I think you should stop doing that daily prompt, it is becoming quite weird.”

“All our ET wants is a book recommendation, film or song to take back to his planet, a souvenir of earthly culture.”

“No problem, I would recommend “Milestones” by Miles Davis as a record. That is one of the best by the master.”

“But perhaps they are not into jazz on planet Flum. I am sure something more soothing like a Paolo Conte song selection would be more appropriate.”

“But that is Italian. No, give him a recording of Miles Davis.”

“Mrs. Earthwoman, Mr. Earthman, I am confused, could you perhaps just let me have a book.”

“I know, what about 50 shades of Grey. It is quite a hit on Earth and would give a good idea on planet Flum how things work here.” In the meanwhile Mr. Swiss was listening to some music on his iPod.

“No, definitely not Mrs. Earthwoman. We have read that book on our planet and it is very confusing. Life on planet Flum is more colourful and it is too complicated for us: too much him and her and not enough cultural atmosphere. And think of our children.”

I decided to go into a more religious direction. “What about our bible?”

“We have our own bible. A second bible would only complicate things. Actually there is a reason why I arrived in your garden, and not because of the allergy causing flower heads, and he sneezed again. No, word has spread on Flum that you are a writer, your daily blogs show us what life on earth is really about and we have seen that you have written a book which has been published. Unfortunately we have not been able to organise a copy on Flum and I was wondering, if you would have a copy for me.”

Of course I had a copy for our little Flumeronian. I had been wating for this chance to spread the word, to make my book a success throughout the world, and even throughout the Universe. I dug into the book shelves and found one copy. I removed the dust from its covers and wiped away the coffee stains. He clamped it between his finger and thumb. Did I see tears appear in his three eyes?

“Mrs. Earthwoman, may I ask for a dedication written on the first page of the book. “Wise words from the greatest Earth author” and perhaps your web site address from WordPress. You have a great community on planet Flum that follow your blogs daily. That was the main reason why my beamer was tuned into your garden as a landing platform and of course WordPress did promise a free makeover on our computer system. They said it would be a great new look with a grid and ……”

I had to interrupt him. I did not want to disillusion this sweet little ET who was one of my faithful followers. We hugged each other, he touched my finger with his and said “ET Going Home” or something like that. I seemed to hear music in the background and he was gone.

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WordPress Daily Prompt: Your Life, The Book

From a famous writer or celebrity, to a WordPress.com blogger or someone close to you — who would you like to be your biographer?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us WORDS.

First of all the price has to be right. Naturally Bram Stoker, author of Dracula, or Charles Dickens would be my choice. Bram would definitely catch the dark side of my life, and Charles Dickens would give me a happy end. Unfortunately these two are no longer amongst us, just their books, so they will not fall into the narrow choice I must make amongst all the great writers who will be fighting for the rights to publish my life story.

It will have to be someone successful, well known and able to sell what he writes. Mr. Swiss you say? No, he knows me too well, at least he thinks he does. He might divulge a few home truths about my life that should be kept under cover.

I did hear that some sort of American organisation: National Security Organisation, is quite good at gathering details about various people and various organisations. You do not even have to supply them with details; the details are supplied generously by Google, Yahoo, Microsoft, and Skype. There are certain pseudonyms I use on my way through Internet, and if you enter one of these into your Internet system, you get the story of my life, so why bother about choosing a biographer. You can just take your pick from the Bill Gates machine. Who knows what Bill Gates knows about you.

If I chose a celebrity, it would definitely be Garfield. My three felines just love him, and he would certainly put in a few good meows and pawprints for me in the feline world.

A lady called E.L. James did contact me about writing my biography, and we even had a conference to discuss details. 50 Shades of Boredom, she wanted to call the book, when she saw my grey hair. I told her I was not interested in divulging my closest secrets (too many famous heads might fall), and she even thought I would pay her to write my interesting life story.

I have many contacts to examine. Neil Gaiman, J.R. Rowling and Henning Mankell have already turned it down (no interest apparently). Walt Disney is no longer amongst us, and neither is Alfred Hitchcock – my life would have made such an interesting film.

What did I hear? Helen Fielding, the author of Bridget Jones diary is on the phone. She wants to do an Anglo Swiss Diary with all the details. I think I will accept that one, I am sure she will invent something worth reading and I will at last become famous. Of course I will have to discuss the royalties to charge on the rights of my WorldPress blogs.

I am an author

Well sort of. I always seem to be writing things lately so I decided to get them published. Today my book arrived.

I never really thought that at the age of 62 I would ever have anything in print, but nothing ventured, nothing gained and here it is. Mr. Swiss even said he found it in Amazon by just putting my name in. Up to now the newspaper reporters have not been phoning for more information and also the television stations have not invited me for an interview, but I am not disappointed. I very much doubt if anyone will ever buy it. Most of the stories are known by those who now and again stumble on my stories in this place. Since it has been published I have written a couple more stories, but I don't know whether I will do it again.

So enough public relations on my behalf. What did we do today? It was time to visit my hairdresser again so I was in town this afternoon. I walked home and as usual took a few photos on the way. It was a very grey day in town and the view of our river Aare was looking like something from a mystery film.

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I decided to walk home along the river side as it was not raining, although very windy. We have a statue in our town called "Fat Berta" and she has been shifted twice up to now, but now she is on the river side so I could not resist taken her photo. I actually did a blog about her once. If you want to read it click here.

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After leaving Berta I walked along the banks of the river on a country path. I then crossed our bridge with the intention of taking some photos of some swans I saw.

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It was then a straight walk home and I was glad to get indoors. Here is a view of the river from the bridge in the direction where I live.

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