Chickens

Link to an item in the news you’ve been thinking about lately, and write the op-ed you’d like to see published on the topic.

"In the soup bowl instead of going to the Biogas plant

Because the Swiss do not eat enough stewing hens, a half a million laying hens are reduced to biogas, although the hen meat is good quality. Organisations and cooks fight for the revival of the laying hen."

This is, of course, debatable and so I invited some of our poultry experts to express their feelings about this. 

“Harold you are the so-called “rooster about the house”, so what do you have to say?”

“Cock-a-doodle-do, ridiculous. I have fifty wives and they are happy wives. They have a purpose in their poultry lives. Egg laying is their reason for living, and a life-saving act if I may say so. It is the goal of a female chicken to lay eggs. Indeed it is a true competition, Klara being the champion at the moment. I am proud of you Klara.”

“Thanks Harold, you are make me blush beneath my black and white feathers. What would we hens do without our Harold, he is the cock of all trades. He works hard for his living. Only last week he lost his pride and joy you know.”

“Cluck, cluck, cluck.”

“No Harold I do not mean that part of your anatomy, without that you life as a soup chicken would be sealed, although I have heard that the roosters are not so favoured as the human dish of the year.”

“Klara you are drifting, so I will hand this part of the discussion to Lotti, she is new to the fold and her egg laying gift has not yet developed to its peak.”

“Cluck yourself Harold.”

“Klara behave. Now you have laid an egg on the cushion of the interview chair.”

“I was insulted Harold and I do not drift, I concentrate on my chicken gifts.”

“So, Lotti, you may continue.”

“Thank you Harold. First of all I would like to say how chucked I am to be here today, especially as I am new in the chicken coop and my eggs are relatively small in comparison to the professionals amongst us.”

“You see Harold, Lotti realises my value.”

“Klara behave, otherwise I will ensure that the egg you just laid will hatch.”

“And what if it is a rooster Harold, then your days might be numbered.”

I had to intervene, so I cooked a scrambled egg for the office, to solve the argument.

“I will continue” said Lotti.

“I might be new on the job, but in my contract it was promised that I would be a laying hen for the remainder of my chicken days and would not arrive in the soup bowl on Farmer Hans table for a Christmas or Easter dish. And as far as biogas is concerned, the only biogas here is when the the chicken food contains cabbage leaves, although I don’t really mind.”

“But we do” intervenes Klara “the smell is not so pleasant, is it Harold.?”

“I havn’t really noticed Klara, but Lotti seem to be happy with the cabbage leaves.”

“No problem Harold, as long as you are here to protect us all.”.

“Thankyou Lotti.”

“Yes, I must say there is an advantage having a rooster about the house, although he had a near miss when the fox paid a visit last week. We never saw Mabel and Bertha again, they became food for the fox cubs.”

“But I fought bravely Klara.”

“Yes we noticed Harold. There was a lot of clucking and doodle-do’s and you lost your pride and joy, meaning your wonderful tail feathers this time of course. We are all proud of you.”

“Yes, it is an honour to be a member of Harold’s family” added Lotti “all the more that we should not be reduced to a gas emission. Harald we will fight for the right to have a rooster.”

“Thank you girls, and now we must go, I heard that Farmer Hans is expecting a new delivery of ten hens and we must form a welcoming committee and show them around.”

And so my guests left the office, clucking on the way. My staff discovered that they left three eggs behind in the office, proving that hens have a purpose in life. Remember the next time when you eat a chicken curry or coq au vin, this is not the way to treat a chicken. Their purpose in life is not to arrive on your dinner plate although I must say I enjoy a roast leg of chicken myself. Oh, Harold I thought you had left, no, of course I did not mean it. Just a closing sentence on my article. Must disinfect the scratches on my hand from his claws, might be infected. Oh dear……..”