Thursday 26 March 2015

But no Cigar

Tell us about a time things came this close to working out… but didn’t. What happened next? Would you like the chance to try again, or are you happy with how things eventually worked out?

Bee in wild flowers

“Are you following me?”

“Sort of. If you remain still and don’t buzz around all the time, I could take a very good photo.”

“I am not a model for your camera, I am working on these flowers.”

“I noticed, but you don’t seem to be having any success. You buzz around from flower to flower.”

“I am a bee, it is my job. I might not earn a cigar for my work, but I am collecting enough pollen to feed a whole colony, including me.”

“I see, I thought you was collecting the pollen to fertilise the flowers, so that they would make more.”

“You think. That is only a side line, I am not Pestalozzi, I am doing this for the family.”

“If you keep still, I can take a photo.”

“I do not have time for photo tourists, I have better things to do with my time. You cannot eat photos.”

“But I can show everyone else how great you look when you are doing your job. Do you think I could have a pose from below.”

“For what reason?”

“To show everyone more of your wonderful legs with their nectar pouches.”

“But I am busy.”

“I know you are a busy bee, but you are a very good looking bee.”

“And who compensates for the pollen I miss whilst I am posing for a human photo?”

“But you can carry on afterwards.”

“I do not do afterwards, now go away and don’t bother me. I have finished with this group of flowers and have to move onto the next group. I still have space in my storage room for some more pollen.”

“You have a storage room?”

“On my legs. Look.”

Bee in wild flowers

“Got you.”

“You took a photo of my pouches.”

“Yes and very nice pouches they are. Do you still have room for more?”

“I think I will be buzzing home now to empty them, but I will be back.”

“Then I will wait for a few more shots.”

“Forget it. This patch is finished, I will move on to another place.”

“Hi Fred.”

“Hi Joe.”

“Anything left for me here. What’s that human doing with that camera?”

“She is taking photos.”

“Great, shall I smile?”

“No, you have no time You must be new on the job. We bees do not hover around or smile for a camera, we have work to do. Think of all those hungry mouths waiting for their food. Queen will not be happy.”

“Oh, queenie is never satisfied. She always wants more. She has done her job and now we have to feed them.”

“What about me?”

“Human go away, you have taken enough photos for today and are disturbing the process. You know what, go to the local shop and buy a jar of honey and take a photo of it, the finished product.”

So I left Fred and Joe to their work, although Fred had a heavy load to carry on the way back to his home. Joe had now taken over and was pollinating the remainder. Oh to be a bee, although there are really no rewards, except for a few photos in my camera.

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