Monday, 17 September 2012

Secret Feline Agent Nera

Larry the cat

"Yes, we did it" and Nera the cat was clapping her paws in satisfaction, much to the surprise of her litter sister Tabby.

"What did we do Nera" Tabby asked. "You seem to be very happy."

"Of course I am" answere Nera. "That lazy imposter of a mouse catching cat has lost his job and been relegated at the Prime Minister's house in London. At last they have seen the proof. Of course I helped a bit with an anonymous hint using Mrs. Human's computer."

"You mean Larry is no more at No. 10 Downing Street?" 

"No Tabby, as I said he has been sent to where he belongs, although such a lazy and stupid cat probably does not even realise it. I think Larry now lives in the attic. Seems that Larry was caught sleeping on the job, again. He was caught playing with a mouse, instead of catching it and enjoying the benefits of a mouse supper. Just look at the fat cat. Believe me that is not just fluff. He sneaked his way in to the job and that stupid Prime Minister, David Cameron, was completely taken in by Larry's tricks. Not surprising really when you see how he runs the country."

Larry and the Mouse

"But Nera, I don't think Mr. Cameron does the job that badly. I mean the Olympic games seem to go well after all, quite a success."

"Olympic games are once every four years Tabby, not every day, and they won't be in England again in our life time, or even in Mrs. Human's life time and her life time is a little bit longer than ours. Tabby, since when have you become a conservative cat? I thought we all belonged to the feline party, more tuna fish, more mice and more birds is our motto, not Olympic games."

"Ok Nera, point taken, but now who is going to do the job if Larry is no longer there?"

"Tabby, there is always a shadow cabinet, and so there is a shadow cat. My contacts in England had been feeding Freya, the cat that disappeared for a while from the Chancellor's office. I organised her escape and lodgings where she was being well-fed until the chance came. Through my feline telepathic powers I saw that the days of Larry were numbered, so sent a message. The chancellor, George Osbourne, was happy that his cat Freya was found, especially as his human kittens were missing Freya so much and now there is a new cat in Downing Street. This time a cat that knows what mice are for, to form part of our feline diat, and not to pose for newspaper photos with. Yes, I have saved the reputation of the English feline government."

"Oh, Nera, you are a hero. And your brave actions will go unnoticed by the english people. I did not know you were so modest."

"That is the result of working for the British Feline MI5/6/7. I even had a pawmail from Mr. Putin last week, asking if I would be interested in taking over the leadership of the cats in the Ermitage Museum in Leningrad, but I had to turn the job down. We have so much to solve here. It is Autumn and the mice are harvesting their provisions, preparing for the cold Winter months."

"Meaning we have to catch the mice Nera?"

"Exactly Tabby. Yes the life of a 007 cat can be a dangerous life sometimes. I have to go now, Freya has just mailed me with a problem. She still does not know the different between a politician and a rat, and we cannot have her eating the government for dinner, now can we. Tabby you can now remove the picture of Garfield from my bedroom wall. I will hang this photo of Freya instead."

"Err Nera, she even looks a bit like me, although she has white paws and her MacDonalds "M" on the forehead is not as nice as mine."

"Yes Tabby, dream on."



  1. Gosh, what a lot of feline subterfuge going on without us mere humans even knowing about it!!! Shame about Larry though, I rather liked him (although not his human!!!)

  2. LOL great read Pat, I always knew cats were far more complex than us poor humans! LOL;)

  3. Lol. I enjoyed your write :) great pics. The mouse an cat one especially :)