Wednesday 8 August 2012

A Blog a Day No. 10 - The Feline Hairball Philosophy


"Nera what are you doing on my computer looking at the photos?“

“I thought I would see if I could find diversity to the normal boring menu that we are forced to eat.”

“No-one forces you to eat anything, Nera. If you don’t like it you can leave it.”

“Mrs. Human do you really want three bony cats walking around? You would be the talk of the feline neighbourhood. You might even run the risk of being the target of a feline attack.”

“I thought you cats did not support each other, the motto being I, me and myself.”

“Sort of, but when it comes to food, we are usually all the same opinion. We have our hairball moments you know.”

“Nera, what is a hairball moment. I thought that was when I have to get a cloth and wipe away the mess you make. That is why I even buy expensive anti hairball food, so that it doesn’t happen.”

“Oh, you humans are so dim sometimes. No Mrs. Human a hairball moment is before the actual hairball appears, it is when we are thinking about whether to produce a hairball or not. Then we go into a fourth dimension and make important decisions.”

“Such as?”

“Whether to eat something worthwhile before manufacturing a hairball. Makes the process much easier to complete. It is a question of belief. Our leader Bast said produce a hairball once a day to qualify as a one hundred percent perfect feline.”

“I thought hairballs were produced because cats swallow so much fur when they wash themselves.”

“Mrs. Human, we are not cats, but felines and furballs are a philosophy. The best hairballs follow a good meal and now we are back to the point I wanted to make. We want more variety in our menu. All that stuff you feed us has a distinct taste of chicken.”

“I buy chicken flavoured pellets Nera. I though it was your favourite.”

“Be honest, if you ate chicken every day all your life, Mrs. Human, would you still like it?”

“It might get boring.”

“Exactly and now I have discovered a welcome change. I, my sister Tabby and our apprentice Fluffy have decided we want sparrow flavoured pellets. The next time you see a sparrow just don’t take a photo, but bring it home in an edible state.”

I decided to end this feline conversation before it went into other depths, sorry dimensions. So what did we learn today? Cat food can become boring and always bear in mind the hairball philosophy.

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