Monday, 23 June 2008

Summer has arrived - A conversation with the Cats


At last the summer has arrived. Everyone is suffering from the heat (at least at my age) and is longing for a couple of dismal days where it cools down and you can sit around in the shade and read a book, a newspaper or take a walk somewhere. The time when I somehow wish I could be with my blog colleagues in downunder enjoying their winter, which I have heard it not as cold as ours. However, just make the most of it.

“Mrs. Human”
Oh dear, my cat Nera has appeared from under a bush in the garden. “Something you want to say Nera?”
“Definitely, I always have something to say. Think of us cats in this weather. You are sitting outside, just dressed in cool clothes. Just try and take your skin off.”
“I don’t think that is possible Nera”
“Well, imagine being a long haired silky furred cat like my beautiful self”.
“Overdoing it again with self esteem Nera?”
“Mrs. Human you know what I mean. The predicament that me and my furry friends find ourselves in in Summer. We are not able to take our fur coats off, so we just have to do our best to cool down.”
“Which means Nera?”
“Well I just curl up under the bushes which is not always the best place to be.”
“At least you can keep cool.”
“Yes, super – under those bushes I provide a home for a couple of hundred homeless ants, you know how that can be annoying in the fur”.
“Nera, there is another problem with your home for ants. You transport them inside and that is not funny. Mr. Human and I eventually got rid of them, but had to deposit at least 4 anti ant tins in the kitchen. They were everywhere.”
“That’s a people problem, not a cat problem. None of my business.” And she walked off with a swipe of the tail.”

“Just ignore her” said Tabby, the short haired tabby cat. “You know how she gets all full of self importance from time to time. If she had any sound intelligence like me she would go out in the evening and come back early in the morning. The night air is nice and cool and other creeping things have the same idea. I tell you, Mrs. Human, the place is a cat’s delight at night.”
“Ok Tabby, but don’t get too enthusiastic about that. Two days ago you disappeared in the early evening and we didn’t see you until the next morning. Mr. Human and I got worried and thought something might have happened.”
“Just a minute, you don’t expect me to report back from time to time do you? I mean I am a cat, and not a dog. They do silly things like that. They even go for walks on leads and do tricks. Next thing will be you want me begging on my hind legs for food. Forget it.”
“Well, Nera does that sometimes.”
“That’s different, she is still after the leading part in the next Garfield film. She thinks that tricks like that will get her chosen. Now you have brought me out of the concept. Where was I. Oh, yes, as I was saying if you are intelligent like me you find a nice cool place indoors during the day. At the moment a favourable place is in your oldest kittens room. He is not here during the day and it is nice and cool.”
“He is not my oldest kitten, but my son.”
“One way or the other, he has a nice cool room, or Mr. Human’s cupboard in the bedroom. Some nice comfortable pullovers there. You can really snuggle to the back of the cupboard. My motto – see but not be seen. And while I am discussing the thing about cupboards, would you please not shut them during the day. It can be most annoying to be locked in a cupboard for a few hours.”
“Well, sorry Tabby, but you know we always come looking for you when we notice you are missing.”
“If you kept the cupboards open it wouldn’t happen, would it?” And off she went muttering something about no respect for the feline race.

“Good afternoon Mrs. Human, just woke up, what’s all the fuss. I heard Nera and Tabby showing off again.”
My youngest cat, Fluffy, was up and about. He is the man in the house (well he was a couple of years ago) but does not stand a big chance against the emancipated female cats I have.
“Hello Fluffy, Tabby and Nera were telling me what they do in this hot weather. So what’s your solution.”
“Don’t need one really. I just puff up my fur and have a good lick, roll up, or stretch out according to how I feel and sleep. Although it seems to me that I seem to lose more fur in this hot weather, falls out a bit more.”
“Yes I noticed Fluffy, it is usually deposited all over the carpet, but nothing that a cat-and-dog vacuum cleaner does not remove.”
“Don’t mention that word, makes me shiver when I hear it. You mean the air sucking and fur eating monster that makes noises to shake my ear tips. We cats have much better methods for removing superfluous hair. A nice meal of grass does wonders.”
“Fluffy I do not want to go into the unpleasant details as there are people here that might be reading what I am writing, but your grass eating is combined with a cleaning up process afterwards, where I am glad when you can dispose of your hairballs combined with the grass remains on the stone floor and not on the carpet.”
“It’s nature, Mrs. Human. I don’t like it when you put aluminium foil in front of the television cupboard to stop me entering either, life is just a matter of give and take.”
I was still pondering the logic in that answer and he curled up and went back to sleep again.

So that was a summary of hot days somewhere in Switzerland where the cats and cats do as they please.

Nera relaxing

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