Are you a sports fan? Tell us about fandom. If you’re not, tell us why not.
Meow everyone, this is a strange prompt, not at all designed for creatures worshipped as gods amongst the humans. “Sports fan?”, we felines do not have sports and the word fan is only applied to I, me and myself. Mrs. Human now and again has a brainwave that I do not get enough exercise so she organised this designer ladder for me. Actually it wa for Nera, Fluffy and me but there was a small problem. Nera was too fat and could not squeeze her curvaceous black furry body up the stairs, so she decided to leave it, causing a certain disappointment to Mrs. Human. She tried everything, a morsel of tuna fish on every step, even catmint, but to no avail. We felines are not stupid and realise when we are being bribed and fooled into doing things that humans want. Nera told me that no way was she ascending that ladder to make a fool of herself. She might fall, and her feline dignity would be lost forever, so she never used the ladder.
Fluffy was a different kettle of tuna fish. He wanted to use this attraction, really and he managed to climb half way but for some strange reason Mrs. Human got worried that poor little Fluffy would take a false step and get lost on the way. Ok, admittedly he was blind, but that should really be no hindrance for a feline: as long as the nose and ears are working, nothing could go wrong.
Mrs. Human did not think like this, but she is a mere human, and so Fluffy was banned from the ladder, so I had it all to I, me and myself. Of course I could do it, no problem, but in my time and not the human time. So to do the humans a favour I would descend by this wooden construction, naturally jumping the last four steps, just to make Mrs. Human a little nervous. I would emphasise that I never used this construction to climb up to the top of the cupboard. I did that by taking a jump.
“What did you say Mrs. Human? It was dangerous.”
Yes well those humans always have something to nag about, must lay in their homo sapiens hormones. Of course if I am in the mood I might have a mad five minutes springing around the hall and finalising with a leap and climb up the wall, arriving half way and digging my claws into the plaster. Mrs. Human again does not like this and gets all iffy.
“Come down Tabby, that is dangerous” and such exclamations. I eventually descend again and make my way to the kitchen, leaping and climbing makes you hungry. I mean how can we felines get enough physical exercise when the humans are such spoil sports.?