This is mainly because Tabby and I had to visit the vet today. It was very cunningly planned by Mr. and Mrs. Human, they bribed us by pretending that everything was normal and then …..
“We were forced to leave our home, there was no soil and it was snowing so forget the rain and Fluffy, don’t exaggerate, I smelt the goose before it was cooked.”
“You did, why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were sleeping, it is your own fault.”
“I thought you were sleeping.”
“I never sleep when humans are moving, I always have one ear open. I heard Mrs. Human go to the cellar and I heard Mr. Human telling her to leave the cages in front of the door. Emphasis on cages, meaning more than one, and I knew that it was Vet time. My first action was to disappear under the bed. Mr. Human spoke a few profanities and he dragged me out. The cages appeared and before I could say “Garfield” I was looking through the bars.”
“I didn’t notice anything Tabby.”
“No Fluffy, you were sleeping, remember.”
“I only remember looking through bars suddenly.”
“And then we were off, moving through the streets to that well known place, the den of the vet.”
“But Tabby the nice ladies were there that give me an ear scratch and tummy tickle.”
“Fluffy it is all a trap, to lull you into a feeling of security. I saw you sitting in your cage while they put me on the operating table with thermometer poised for my private parts. Ear scratch my paw, they were attacking me and to add insult to injury they emptied a full ampule of anti worm medicine in my body. As if I have worms, What an insult.”
“They did that to me as well, but the nice ladies said I was a good boy for being quiet and still. They said I had nice teeth and then I was given a manicure. Did they give you a manicure as well Tabby?”
“No Fluffy, they did not, I make sure that my claws are short, and sharp and whet them now and again. If you did that you would not have to have a nail cutting session at the vets. That was your fault.”
“Look I am quite proud, I have some photos of the action Tabby, but there are no photos of you.”
“That is no problem Fluffy, do you really think I want to be proud of photos of my indignation being shown all over the Internet. I tell you do not place your trust in humans. They are crafty and sly, and now let me sleep to recover from the exhaustions of the day.”
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