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Thursday 15 January 2015

WordPress Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Brain Power

Let’s assume we do, in fact, use only 10% of our brain. If you could unlock the remaining 90%, what would you do with it?



Tabby relaxing

Excuse me, but I am feline. We are gods and our brain power is not the subject of ridicule in an amateur attempt to supply a daily prompt.

I am insulted. Feline brains are not comparable to that of subordinate humans. We are in action twenty-four hours of the day. You think we sleep. We do not sleep our brain revolves all of the time. Just closing my eyes does not mean that I am here. Felines travel in the 9th dimension. We evaporate metaphysically speaking. We are here, but not here. We travel through the dimensions of the unknown, following trails and scents unknown to the human species. You are following me? Perhaps not, I know these facts are far too intricate for the understanding of the human brain.

Mrs. Human found this prompt stupid, but she only uses 10% of her brain at the best of times and that is when she is preparing my food. The rest of her brain is wasted on cleaning, cooking and writing stupid blogs that  no-one really needs.

We felines are continuously in action working out the best way to catch a bird, mouse or just anything that tastes good and moves. If it moves, kill it and eat it. What other creature has such a finely tuned thought dimension.

This is only 50% of my brain scope, the other 50% is spent in telepathy. As I explained yesterday, Meow is just to fool the humans and the canines. Even then we are artists, compare a Meow to a wuff, a bark. Barks are painful to the ears, although the ears of a dog are naturally not as sensitive as that of a feline. We have a fine musical voice, but it is only camouflage. The actual action is taking place in the brain, the 50% devoted to telepathy.

If I speak to my colleague Fluffy, you hear nothing. I send a message by thought waves, let us have a paw fight. Fluffy knows what to expect. I warn him before I swipe my paw over his ear. My litter sister Nera has left us for the eternal corn chambers, but we often have a feline conversation, although no-one notices. She is still in charge and gives her instructions. How do I know when Roschti, the ginger threat from next door is approaching? Mrs Human is astonished that I am already sharpening my claws and making threatening gestures. I pounce when he turns the corner (or disappear). 


And you talk of 10% and 90% brain. We are feline we have no % brain, we are gods and we are the organisers. You should be reading this on your knees. Leave your calling card when you leave that I know who I have been talking to.


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