MULTIPLY Wordsmiths Challenge #11: The Best Night of the Year

Dracula decided to spend the evening with the television, a nice comfortable evening at home in the castle. His life story had yet again been made as a film and it was being shown that evening. He always felt rather flattered, each film was something different. This time Flad Gritt had been chosen to play the vampire killer, one of Dracula’s favourite actors.

“What are we doing this evening Dracky?” and Dementia his wife entered the room.

“Dementia I am a count, and would appreciate being called Dracula at least, and this evening we are having a nice comfortable evening in front of the television.”

“Oh no Dracky, this evening is Halloween, it is our evening, everyone on the look out for a few horror film types like us, and we are genuine, just think of the nice fresh blood on the streets.”

“No Dementia, does not come into the question. The fridge is full of blood conserves I collected on my last night out in town. Why go to the effort of biting and sucking, when it is all hygienically packed and ready to use. I don’t like jumping on those living blood conserves these days. The human race is not as it used to be, might get some sort of disease. Deadly Ernest is not even leaving his coffin at the moment, still curing his attack of swine flu; most degrading, a vampire with swine flu.”

Dementia was not satisfied.

“But Dracky, Dracula or whatever, we havn’t been out for so long, and the taste of those blood conserves is just not the same. I even swallowed a piece of plastic packing last week. Come on Dracky, I bought a real nice costume for the occasion.”

“Dementia stop tantalising my neck with your teeth, keep them for a better purpose. I saw a cat outside in the yard. If you want something alive, then go and get it. Give me my warm slippers, my feet are cold; probably bad circulation.”

“Dracula you are becoming a grumpy old undead. If we go out it will do your circulation good, and we might even get a few treats from the living. Look at this dress I bought, isn’t it sexy?”

Dracula froze the picture on the television, it was just getting to the part where the vampire was preparing to plunge his teeth into the victim’s neck and he did not want to miss that part.

“That is a dress? How much did that cost?”

“It was very reasonable, only a couple of hundred.”

“Sorry Dementia you have been had. You paid so much for just a few black rags.”

“It’s a Halloween costume, but you being lazy, I suppose we can only watch that stupid old film on television instead of me wearing it. I don’t know what you see in those films, plastic teeth and tomato ketchup. If we go out we get the real thing and it will do you good, but take those slippers off before we go. Who has seen a vampire wearing slippers.”

OK Dementia, just for the sake of peace and quiet; flying or walking?”

“Walking of course, let’s mix with the living for a change.”

And Dementia and Dracula left the castle, but only after Dracula had dressed properly. Dementia did not like going out with Dracula when he was wearing his blue jeans and a t-shirt. She found it beneath their dignity.

They walked down the street and were soon confronted by some young humans, one dressed as a werewolf and the other with a skeleton costume.

“Trick or treat” the werewolf said.

“Clear off” answered Dracula “I am not in the mood for such stupidity.

“Dracky, be nice to the young men” said Dementia.

“Your should listen to your lady friend” said the skeleton, “otherwise you won’t look like a vampire, we will make some real blood and you will be the genuine thing, so let’s have a treat. Some money will do.”

“Please leave me alone with your threats, I don’t need money and have none.”

It was then that the werewolf and the skeleton pulled out two large knives from under their costume and attacked Dracula. They were not prepared for what happened.

“Did you see that Fred?” said the werewolf to the skeleton, "there is no blood. I stuck my knife into his arm and nothing happened."

“Yea, funny thing Joe.”

“Oh, I see you two want to see blood, Well just let me have your neck, I have the right tools for drawing blood.”

After seeing Dracula’s grin showing his real, genuine teeth, the two yobs ran off.

“Did you have to do that Dracky?”

“What did you expect Dementia, that I would let myself be made a fool of by two dressed up living bodies. When I think of Jacko, my pet werewolf at home, he would have been insulted. Should have taken him with us.”

“Dracula you are a spoil sport. Look there are some children coming.”

“Trick or treat mister.”

Dracula was just preparing to pounce when Dementia pushed him away. "No Dracky, does not come into the question. Come here children here are a few treats for you", and she produce some candy from her handbag and gave it to the children.

“Are you mad Dementia, that was a few helpings of fresh young blood you have sent on their way.”

“Dracky we were all young once. Don’t you remember how your parents always gave you candies at Halloween when you knocked at their door dressed up in a Halloween costume.”

“Well come to think of it Dementia, no not really. Back in the old country we didn’t go in for that sort of thing. We were more for reality.”

And our two brave vampires made their way through town, Dementia giving out her treats where she could, and Dracula trying to be good, suppressing his desire for a nice evening meal at the sight of so much fresh meat. Eventually Dementia gave in and allowed Dracula to fetch some fresh blood conserves from the hospital on the way home.

They arrived home tired and happy. Dementia was happy because she recaptured some of her childhood memories, and Dracula because he could at last see the new vampire film. He was a little bit disappointed at the end of the film. Flad Gritt killed the vampire with a nicely sharpened stake, straight into the heart. Dracula just prefers happy endings, where the vampire retires to his coffin and lives happily ever after and after and after.

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MULTIPLY Creative Challenge #76: An Ode to the Eiger, Bernese Overland, Switzerland

How often have I admired the Swiss Mountain Eiger, especially its North Wall shown on this photo. One of the most difficult slopes to climb, and one that has been the cause of the deaths of many mountaineers. If you follow the link you know what I mean.

We used to spend our Summer holidays in the Bernese Overland, taking many walks, but the Eiger was always watching. The cemetery in Grindelwald shows the graves of many mountaineers that did not succeed to overcome its heights. I think I have read every book that has been written on its history, so here is my own little attempt to honour this mountain.

The photo is my own, taken in the days before digital cameras existed. I scanned it and worked on it with a photo programme.

I stand here and watch over valleys and meadows
Distances vast beyond measure
Mankind has wanted to tame me
But I too am vast beyond measure
My heights have been conquered
Not without sacrifice of life and limb
My surface has been scarred with irons
hammers beating in pins to fix ropes
And still I am the master of fate
My inside has been emptied, gouged like a pumpkin
Not for halloween, for progress they say
A train rumbles through carrying visitors
Wanting to savour the sights from above
Do not forget, I still have the power
to cast you aside, forbid your ascent
How many have been left on my flanks
A false step on the ice field sheet
Hanging in ropes, waiting for the final rescue
Sometimes I give free the victims of earlier days
Suddenly standing frozen on a ledge
Thrown up from my bowels
Now dead, but their last sight was my body
Progress, you call it progress
Achieving my summit, thinking how clever
Clever is no-one that attempts to overpower my strength
To walk in a straight line instead of following my ways
Little do you know you climbers and explorers
You think your have won
But I in my vastness beyond measure always have the last word.

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MULTIPLY Pete's Pick Week #11: Evolution

“Mrs. Human, you know you humans really got things at the wrong end of the stick with that evolution stuff.”

and my chief big, fat, long haired, black cat seems to have been reading again.

“What do you mean Nera, it is a natural logical development that we were probably descendants of the apes.”

“Mrs. Human, there I do have to say you are right. When you look at an ape and his actions and study a human, there is not so much difference.”

“Nera you do not have to be insulting. Don’t forget the cats were somewhere in the line as well. When the first fish grew legs and left water and started to roam on the land, mammals eventually developed, amongst them the cats.”

“Sorry to disagree Mrs. Human, but the feline intelligent species did not develop from anything. We were there from the beginning.”

“Nera I don’t think that Charles Darwin would agree. He included the cats with the rest of the mammals.”

“Forget it Mrs. Human”, and Tabby Nera’s sister arrived. We are originals, not developments of any other living object. Charles Darwin made a mistake including us felines in the so called tree. We are unique.”

“How comes?” I asked.

“Quite simple” Tabby said. “What other animal can hear and smell when asleep. Only we cats. We are always alert. When you humans sleep then nothing wakes you and if you cannot sleep, then you have to take tablets or there is something wrong. Have you ever seen a cat take a sleeping tablet, or suffer from insomnia? That is one proof that we have nothing to do with humans.”

“And another thing Mrs. Human” said Nera “what other animal can smell a tin of tuna before it is opened. Association of noise from the tin opener, combined with the smell of the fish inside the tin, only we felines can achieve that. Take an example of our adopted brother Fluffy.”

“Did someone call my name” and Fluffy appeared on the scene.

“Yes” answered Nera “we was telling Mrs. Human how unique we felines are. As I was saying just ask Fluffy. He has no problem although he is a blind feline. A human would have to have training, or some sort of white stick that others notice and have consideration for the problem. Not a feline.”

“Yes, Mrs. Human” answered Fluffy. “I have no problem being blind. I can see all the same. I can sniff with my super developed streamline nose, and hear everything with my supersonic ears. You have never had to show me where the food is, or my toilet for that matter. We felines are independent, and not to be compared with any other living creature.”

“Did you hear that Mrs. Human?” said Nera. “Charles Darwin’s theory was not as perfect as everyone thinks. You cannot just throw felines on the same heap as fish, frogs, apes or humans, not to mention the lowest of all creatures, dogs.”

“But Nera” I said “if you look at the tree of life cats are included with the other mammals.”

“Where Mrs. Human, I see nothing on that tree mentioning felines? Please do not refer to such superior animals as we are as cats. We prefer felines."

"It is self-explanatory that cats are included with mammals. Humans are also in this group."

"Forget it Mrs. Human, our tree looks like this.

Human Darwin just had everything wrong.”

“Yes, Mrs. Human, listen to our chief feline Nera." said Tabby. "She is very intelligent. I am sure that Charles Darwin only had one of those inferior canines at home, referred to as pet; how degrading.”

“In that case cats, sorry felines, we will revise the books. Felines did not evolve from anything. They were there from the beginning, even before dinosaurs, they are the most perfect creation.”

“Ok Mrs. Human” all three cats said “and don’t forget the bit about where we saved Egypt from the mice invasion in their corn chambers. The Egyptians understood the importance of the feline race. They even worshipped us, most intelligent of all human races were the Egyptians.”

“Cats, before we start on the history of the feline race and all its advantages, I think it is time for you all to take a sleep, saving your feline energy for the evening”

and with that they all disappeared into their separate favourite cushions, did a circular turn twice and sunk into oblivion – or did I see an ear twitch somewhere?

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MULTIPLY Rita's "Riting" Challenge #44: Return to the Beach

“So, here I am again“ were Sheila’s thoughts. It was some time since she had visited this particular beach. This was not surprising, it was in another country and she had to make a plane journey to get there. She stood at the top of the path watching the waves break on the shore. Everything looked the same. It was a typical tourist place, you could buy ice creams, and there was a small restaurant for a meal and bar for a drink.

This time Sheila was not with a girlfriend, or her parents. She was alone, almost alone. She struggled with the pram pushing it down to the beach. She decided baby or no baby; she deserved a holiday again; away from the normal daily routine. Baby Jonas was now a year old and was no problem. He was still at the crawling stage, but could manage to stand on his own two feet if mummy held him. He was admired by all.

“What a lovely child, such wonderful dark eyes and thick black hair.” They were the features that seemed to impress people. Sheila had blond hair and blue eyes so it was clear that Jonas resembled his father.

It was difficult pushing the pram on the sand, it kept blocking the wheels. Eventually she reached one of those nice sun beds with a wide umbrella. She was pleased as it meant that Jonas could play in the sand and was protected from the sun’s rays. Sheila took out the sun cream and creamed Jonas as well as herself, although Jonas had a nice olive skin colour, and probably did not need so much protection.

She relaxed on the sun bed, her memories drifting back to the time when she met Jonas’ father. He looked so different to Sheila, coming from another country, but he was attractive, kind and considerate. Jonas was the fruit of a one night stand. Sheila did not even know where his father lived, whether he might have been married, or anything. She was on holiday at the time and decided to enjoy herself. The girl friends that were with her had already found company, so Sheila was alone, probably in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It was a surprise when she returned home and found that she was carrying a souvenir from her holiday, almost a shock. She realised that finding the father would be an impossible job, so she accepted her fate. Now she would not want to be without little Jonas; he was her one and all.

Suddenly she came back to reality. A tall handsome man was standing before her with a tearful Jonas in his arms, and Jonas was wet.

“This is your son, I believe” he said. I think he wandered away and I found him on shore. He was trying to crawl into the sea.”

“You saved him” she said

“No madam, it is my job to make sure that no-one is harmed on this beach. I am a life saver here and I also collect the money for the sun beds.”

Sheila looked at the life saver and she liked what she saw. He was dressed only in his fashionable bathing trunks, his figure resembling one of the models in a fashion magazine, the water running in droplets over his shiny brown skin.

“Thank you so much” she said “how much do I owe for the sunbed?”

“Oh, nothing. It is my pleasure. Are you alone here?”

“Just me and my son, who you have already met.”

“I was wondering” he continued “if you would be interested to visit the town this evening. We could perhaps have a drink together and a meal.”

Sheila thought it over, it would certainly be an interesting evening with this super body but she decided it would be better to stay on her own on the first evening in a strange place.

“Oh thank you for the invitation” she answered “but I am meeting some friends this evening.” Of course there were no friends, but she had to invent an excuse.

“Perhaps another time” the life saver answered. He left Sheila on her own and Sheila watched him walk away to his next customers, two young girls also occupying the beach beds. He was collecting their money, but stayed a while with them, probably also inviting them to an evening out in town.

Sheila looked at Jonas and looked at the life saver.

“Jonas” she said “there goes your father, the man from who you inherited your wonderful brown eyes and thick hair.”

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MULTIPLY Wordsmiths Challenge #10: The Travel Agency

Moving up, moving up
Head over the clouds
A silky smooth layer of fluff
to overcome and float above
Pilot’s thoughts as he sails
onwards seeking new worlds
The moon overcame
so many years before
Now planets, universes far flung
to be discovered for a holiday

which is all very well, if you look at it on the romantic side of things, but being an agent for universal holidays, you do encounter some problems. I remember when I had my first assignment with our first tourists on Mars; red sand everywhere and two moons. When the first customers arrived I had to be there to show them the ropes. At least we had transformed the atmosphere into something breathable so they did not have to walk around looking like the first pioneers of space shuttle discoveries. They had a nice comfortable hotel on the edge of a crater, but they were not happy.

“Where is the sea?” was the first question they had.

“Madam, you see those pumps just in the distance. There you will find water enough to swim. Mars has no oceans, just the water beneath the surface which is pumped daily. Mars is a holiday planet for walking excursions, there is just no planet in our system with oceans except for earth.”

“No thank you, we tried your artificial swimming pools yesterday, but our skin became red from the water, stained from Mars earth. I still have blotches on my legs. Are you telling me that we paid out a lot of money to spend our holidays on Mars, and we should have remained on earth.”

This was one of many similar complaints, so we had to strike Mars from the list at that time. The moons were also not very popular with our visitors. They had trouble sleeping at night.

We had a big hit with Mercury, but the problem was we could only develop the area laying on the border between hot and cold which was not very wide; a planet that revolves with one side facing the sun all the time and the other facing, well nothing really. There were too many tourists either being burnt or freezing to death and that is no advertisement for a holiday.

Eventually we found the ideal solution. We rediscovered Mars and built towers reaching above the clouds. You say that Mars has no clouds. That was the difficult part. Our designers said that we should have buildings poking through clouds with a view of the two Mars moons which would be ideal for a romantic honeymoon.

Thanks to the man’s progress, the clouds were quickly organised. We built a couple of nuclear power plants on the Mars surface with those large chimneys pouring out water vapour. They were, of course, useful for electricity supplies. It was a success. We naturally designed our high buildings with panorama windows. Our tourists are delighted.

“Look at the view Charles, just fantastic. What a lovely place to spend our honeymoon.”

“Yes darling, we are really living above the clouds; and the moons are so impressive.”

Unfortunately one of our nuclear stations exploded last week, and we lost a few honeymooners when the tower came tumbling down, our engineers are working on it.

Where am I going on holiday this year you ask? We are staying on earth. I was given a tip by a friend on mine working on the earth tours. There is a little place somewhere in Russia called Tschernobyl. A few hundred years ago it was destroyed by a small chemical mistake. My contact told me that it is now the best place to go. The food is good, fruit twice as large as you will find anywhere in the world. Animal life is really interesting. You do not have to visit far off planets for animals with six legs or three eyes, they are all to be found in Tschernobyl. They even have camels with three humps Yes, such is modern science and development. Even the earth has its places to relax.

MULTIPLY United Friends Challenge #191: Couplets done, Battle is won

Lilangelwolf's Challenge

Sitting at my desk, what shall I write
Something for Halloween? Let’s have a fright

Nights are dark, keep windows closed
Vampire might visit, or a corpse decomposed

But after the fright, there will be a treat
The ghouls go to rest, ghosts take their sheet

The Winter arrives and with it the snow
Cats sleep night and day, they don’t want to go

Their paws get so cold, their whiskers will freeze
temperatures are sinking, below zero degrees

Cats curl up keep warm, in front of the fire
The humans will look, for what they require

Christmas will come, a turkey to cook
Relax in the evening and read a good book

New Year arrives with a glass of champagne
This couplet is long, exhausting my brain

Time passes by, the years make me older
Feel very tired, rheumatism in the shoulder

The end of the tunnel has much light in plenty
My couplet is done, the lines are now twenty.

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