"But Mrs. Human us cats need a change now and again, and this would be ideal."
"Yes Mrs. Human" chimed in Nera's sister Tabby "this is the answer to all our feline dreams. You can imagine how Roschti and Bobinette would be jealous when they see it."
Somehow I was losing my temper with my two cats, but then Fluffy turned up, the smallest and youngest of the colony at my place.
"Mrs. Human I just have to agree with Tabby and Nera, it is ideal. Plenty of room and think of the wonderful photos you could take of us as we leave our home."
Perhaps you are wondering what all this is about. Nera was at my computer again, surfing around and put the word "cat" into Google. A lot of different word groups appeared, but then she saw the word "cat flap". Now I know I have been talking about getting something new as Fluffy is always playing around with the flap and since Roschti, the ginger cat over the way, tries to break in our place, the flap is no longer as strong as it should be. It was then that Nera found this, the newest development in cat flaps.
"Nera it is just too expensive and I am sure that you do not need an original Swarovski lined cat flap. After all you only use it as a door.+
"But Mrs. Human, think of the status we would have around here and how people would admire you for fitting a cat flap like that. We would be famous."
"No, Nera we would not be famous, but people would ask whether Mrs. Human is going slowly round the bend. Once and for all I am not going to pay two thousand Swiss Francs for a cat flap."
"But it is an original Swarovski" said Tabby.
"Since when do you cats know what an original Swarovski means. The next thing will be a diamond studded collar."
"That's a good idea Mrs. Human, it would suit so well my wonderful long silky black fur. With sparkling diamonds I would be the most beautiful cat here" said Nera.
"But Mrs. Human" said Fluffy "I don't want any diamonds."
"Thank goodness for that Fluffy" I said.
"I would prefer rubies, they would match my white fluffy fur much better. Diamonds would not be such a good colour contrast."
"Do you have a wish?" I asked Tabby.
"Well when we are talking about it Mrs. Human, I was thinking about having a piercing done. It is quite fashionable at the moment and a gold ring in my ear would look quite good. That would give Roschti something to think about."
"Tabby you can be glad when I don't have a ring put through your nose and attach a lead to it." I said.
So now was the time to be firm with my felines.
"Listen cats, you all like your weekly ration of tuna don't you?"
"Oh yes Mrs. Human" they all answered in unison.
"Do you realise it would cost ten years supply of tuna fish at least to buy a Swarovski cat flap, not to mention the diamond studied collars. Now would you be glad to go without tuna fish for so long."
The cats put their heads together and were discussing. Nera spoke up.
"We have decided, Mrs. Human, that we will sacrifice the need for a new cat flap and collars and stay with the weekly ration of tuna. But you must admit the Swarovski cat flap is really something completely different."