Wednesday, 26 December 2007

Reservoir Cats 28

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Long Tail Al: Well that was a nice bit of singing. Nufing like a lady cat for a good song. Made me old eyes water a bit.
Romeo: Si, but you know we Italian cats have the best voices. I was very good at singing Santa Gattia.
Bobinette: Oh yes, you really sang that well on the rooftops in Venice.
Charlie: Yes, there is nothing like a rooftop song now and again.
Long Tail Al: I fink the rooftop songs you know Charlie, are not the same ones that Romeo might sing.
Romeo: Yes, we have a lot of romantica in our voices in Italy.
Charlie: So do I, you would be surprised.
Big Tom: Well thanks very much for the invitation Al. We had good food, and you enjoy it all the more when surrounded by good friends. I think we should be going back to our headquarters. Al, do you mind if we take some of the remaining food back for my son Mr. Grey. He has been keeping watch over my territory whilst we were here.
Long Tail Al: No problem, Tom. Seems that he has come back to the fold.
Big Tom: Yes, thanks to his mother who put him back in shape up on the farm.
Nera: Yes, I must say he seems to be the Mr. Grey I knew before we had the trouble.
Charlie: What d’ya mean, Nera. Now he ain’t as good looking as I am is ‘e?
Nera: How often do I have to tell you Charlie, good looks are not everything. It’s what lyes below the surface -that counts.
Charlie: Well, I got a lot laying below in me.
Nera: I am sure you have Charlie, but I am not ready to commit myself to a tom cat at the moment. Please be patient.
Charlie: But for that posh Mr. Grey you ‘ave all the time I suppose. I just ain’t good enuf for ya.
Gladys: Now Charlie, just behave. You’re a fine cat but you just have to be patient. Look at me and One Eye Fred. That took time as well, but we would never be apart now, would we Fred.
One Eye Fred: No luv, I found the cat for my life in you, even if you do ‘appen to look around now and again.
Long Tail Al: Pardon, Fred, why are you looking at me.
One Eye Fred: No boss, everyfing ok.
Gladys: Talking about things being ok, where’s Little Al. Kittens have you seen your brother.
5 Kittens: No mum, he said something about taking a walk around when Nera and Bobinette were singing and we havn’t seen him since.
Long Tail Al: Well he couldn’t have gone far.
One Eye Fred: You’d be surprise ‘ow far that little brat, sorry cat, could go when you don’t ‘ave your eyes on ‘im.
Long Tail Al: Slimy tell Reggie and Ronnie Crat to get the black paw gang organised and send them off to look for Little Al.
Slimy: Will do boss, and me and Tabby will go and ‘ave a look as well.
Tabby: Yea, I’m wiv ya Slimy.
Big Tom: Tabby remember what I said.
Tabby: Sorry boss, I mean gatto di tutti gatti. Yes Slimy, I’m coming.

Slimy: Tabby you speak quite a good catney since you’ve been staying wiv us town cats. One day you will be one of us.
Tabby: Well I ain’t, sorry I am not so sure. Big Tom doesn’t like me to speak catney and the other cats in the country don’t understand so well.
Slimy: I can see a big future for ya, somefing like go-between when we ‘ave our conferences together.
Tabby: I think we should now be looking for Little Al. Any suggestions.
Slimy: Well ya know wot I fink. ‘E ‘eard us talking about the cellar of that butchers shop and ‘e might ‘ave gone down in the sewers, looking for the entrance.
Tabby: So let’s go.

Little Al: Well, all that singing was getting on my nerves a bit, and all that sentimental stuff about the human’s Christmas. I am looking forward to Bast’s birthday, now that will be a celebration, I am sure. What did Slimy say. I have to go down to the sewers and take the steps upwards where I get into the cellar of that human meat shop. Well this seems to be the way to the sewers. Smells strong enough. What’s all that stuff running there. Yuck, water – I hate water, it’s so wet. And what are those big mice doing there. They are really big.
Rat: Excuse me, cat, but I am a rat, not a mouse.
Little Al: Did you say something.
Rat: Yes, I did, I havn’t seen you down here before. I didn’t think they let the kittens down in the sewers without their mothers.
Little Al: I am not a kitten, well I won’t be soon.
Rat: So where’s your mother?
Little Al: I don’t need my mum at the moment, I can find my own way around. And be careful rat, we cats eat you for dinner.
Rat: That I don’t laugh. If I introduced you to my dad, I think he would eat you for dinner.
Little Al: Rats don’t eat cats, do they?
Rat: Now you feeling a bit nervous cat. Usually we don’t unless they are smaller than we are.
Little Al: Well you are smaller than me
Rat: Yes but my dad is twice your size, understand?
Little Al: Yes, well I think I will be going on now.
Rat: Ha, ha, ha.

Little Al: Now I didn’t like that creature at all – he was even laughing at me. I always thought rats were like mice. Well a bit bigger, but not so big. Now what, there’s the ladder Slimy was talking about, no just a minute, there’s another ladder opposite and there’s three others down the path. Oh dear, what ladder shall I take. Wish my mum were here.

Tabby: Are you sure he came this way Slimy?
Slimy: Well he did smell a bit of cat milk and I can still smell it in the air.
Rat: Well it seems to be a cat outing down here in the sewers tonight.
Tabby: Who said that?
Slimy: Sounded like a rat’s voice.
Rat: It was me, any problems?
Slimy: The problem being that I don’t like rats.
Rat: Well I don’t like cats either, so it looks like we will get on fine.
Tabby: What did he mean by a cat excursion.
Slimy: Yea, that’s wot I was finking. Seen another cat this evening rat.
Rat: Well, it might just be that I did.
Tabby: Which way did he go?
Rat: Well he might have gone down the path on the right, or perhaps on the left, and then again he may have gone up one of the ladders.
Slimy: Now I don’t like rats at the best of times, but this one is looking to meet wiv the rat god sooner as ‘e finks. Come ’ere rat and tell us where ‘e went.
Rat: Will you put me down cat, otherwise I won’t tell you anything.
Reggie Crat: So there you are, and what is that smelly rat doing in your mouth Slimy. You know what happened to yer bruvver.
Slimy: I don’t care. This stinking lump of rodent meat knows where Little Al went and won’t tell.
Reggie Crat: No problem, men grab that rat on his legs and pull in four directions, I am sure ‘e will soon be co-operative.
Rat: Ok, ok, one rat against an army of the black paw gang just isn’t fair. I will tell you, but leave me in peace afterwards. He went down on the right side of the sewer and up the first steps he came to. And now leave me alone.
Reggie Crat: No problem rat, we don’t really want to eat you, not sure wot we might catch, but be assured that if we don’t find Long Tail Al’s son, then you will be thrown to the dogs.
Tabby: Look at him go, I didn’t know rats could run so fast.
Slimy: No problem, basically ‘es running for ‘is life ain’t ‘e. So up the steps we go.
Tabby: Now where do these steps lead to.
Slimy: Yea, well Little Al ‘as ‘ad some bad luck ain’t ‘e. These lead to the baker’s shop, so ‘e won’t find any meat will ‘e.
Tabby: Well the cellar looks something like the one in the butchers shop, but no meat, just big sacks.
Slimy: Little Al – are you ‘ere?
Little Al: Help, help, I am being suffocated by something big and white.
Tabby: I can hear him.
Slimy: Look there is somefing moving over there in that sack. Reggie, Ronnie are you two ‘ere wiv yer men.
Ronnie & Reggie: Coming Slimy. Wot’s that big sack moving over there.
Slimy: I fink Little Al is in it.
Tabby: Let’s tear it open at the side and have a look.
Little Al: Thanks boys I was being suffocated by a big white monster.
Ronnie & Reggie: Ha, Ha, Ha – just look at ‘im. Looks like the phantom cat of the graveyard.
Tabby & Slimy: Ha Ha ha
Little Al: What are you all laughing at. I was nearly eaten by a rat and now that big white cloud wanted to swallow me.
Slimy: Should be a bit more fankful to yer rescuers. You fell in a big sack of flour that the bakers use for making that ‘uman stuff called bread and cakes.
Little Al: I was nearly suffocated, what till I tell my dad that you laughed at me.
Tabby: Before you tell that to your dad you better have a good lick. And dad might not recognise you.
Little Al: How comes, I look just like my dad.
Slimy: Listen boy, you are white, pure lilly white and when you start licking that stuff off you are going to have a sticky time. So now come back wiv us.
Little Al: No, I don’t like being laughed at. Ow, put me down Slimy.

Long Tail Al: So who ‘ave we got ‘ere Slimy. I said go and find Little Al
Little Al: I am little Al
Long Tail Al: Wot ‘appened, turned white wiv fright?
Gladys: Little Al, where have you been and you are completely white. Looks like you fell into a sack of flour.
Tabby: He did Gladys.
Little Al: Meow, meow, meow – it’s all sticky and gluey when I try to lick it off.
Gladys: That just serves you right. Now stay with you family in future.
5 Kittens: Ha, ha, ha
Little Al: Stop laughing at me meow, meow
Gladys: Yes kittens stop laughing at him. He is a poor little Al at the moment. Now get together and start having a lick at him. Together we will soon get him cleaned up.
Tabby: I’ll help as well.
Slimy: Reggie, Ronnie get the black paw gang in to help as well.
Gladys: Well look Little Al, you will soon be as red as your dad.
Long Tail Al: So wot do you say Little Al to everyone and stop crying, you nearly look as red as I am again.
Gladys: Yes what do you say Little Al.
Little Al: Thanks everyone, I am so happy to be red again, just like my dad.

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