Friday, 2 November 2007

Reservoir Cats - 10

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Romeo: Buona sera Big Tom. I have brought Nera, Bobinette and Tabby – they have some not so good news
Big Tom: Ok, let’s hear what they have to say. I heard that there is something uneasy going on, seems that Long Tail Al is getting big ideas again.
Romeo: Si, and how. Mr. Grey certainly didn’t take too kindly to being thrown out as number one son – so it seems he has paid Al a visit.
Big Tom: I had my eye on him for some time. He was playing up too much down in his part of the country. I should have pulled him out a long while ago. So Nera, what’s the news.
Nera: It seems that the town cats are getting ready to invade our territory and take over. Tabby followed Grey one evening and overheard a conversation between Grey and Long Tail Al.
Big Tom: Ok, Tabby, let’s have the news – and stop shaking, I’m not going to eat you.
Tabby: Well Mr. Big Tom, gatto di tutti gatti, er – Sir, I overheard that Mr. Grey will give the plans of your villa to Long Tail Al to make it easier to sleek in and in return he expects to take over your section. I think Grey has other plans and would like to move in here himself.
Big Tom: Consigliere Romeo – any ideas.
Romeo: To be quite honest, we are a bit outnumbered. The sky’s the limit for those town cats when it comes to a population explosion. For every one of us there are two of them.
Big Tom: Looks like I will have to call for help from outside in that case. I have a few good connections with the Kitty Kat Club. That’s international. I remember my uncle Lucky Catiano in Chicago. If it hadn’t been for the Kitty Kat Club his whole territory would have been taken over by the Siamese.
Bobinette: I ‘ave ‘eard of this club. They ‘ave a good section in the roast beef country over the channel. They even ‘ave a cat that owns a ‘uman and tells ‘im what to do.
Big Tom: Yes, such cats are to be held in honour – even with my talents, I have never been able to attain his level in intelligence.
Tabby: Please sir, permission to speak.
Big Tom: Tabby you are one of the bravest cats I have, venturing into town amidst Long Tail Al’s hideaway, so speak up and let us have your ideas.
Tabby: Well it seems that the town cats are very partial to the lady cats. If our ladies could perhaps gather together and meet the town cats when they approach, it might be that the town cats forget their mission. While they are busy trying to get friendly with our ladies, the tom cats (sorry Big Tom, but I don’t know another word for it) could pounce on the town cats and attack. Their defences would be down and it would be easier for us to chase them away.
Big Tom: A good idea Tabby, but we tom cats would still not be powerful enough as we are just too few.
Bobinette: Tabby said they plan to attack in two days, so we ‘ave time to think out a plan.
Big Tom: In the meanwhile I will connect up by cat signal to the Kitty Kat club and see if they have any agents near us. Lucky Catiano did say that he did them a favour by rescuing one of their agents from the hands of the Siamese so they do owe us something. I will have to make contact with him. In the meanwhile we will have to be careful, especially if Mr. Grey is near.

Long Tail Al: Slimy go and get One Eye Fred. ‘im and ‘is moll seem to be the biggest family around ‘ere. You can always count on numbers when there is a fight to be won.
Fred: I’m ‘ere boss – ‘eard you need some ‘elp.
Long Tail Al: Yea – gonna fight the daylights out of them country cats tomorrow evening, but need some ‘elp from your kids, I mean you got enough ain’t ya.
Fred: No problem, boss, but I’ll ‘ave to ask Gladys wot she finks.
Long Tail Al: Wot’s Gladys got to do wiv it. We men make the decisions and the women do wot we say
Fred: Yea, well as I said fings just don’t work that way any more wiv them lady cats. They all been emancicatted these days.
Long Tail Al: All been wot? Speak miaow, don’t understand a word you say.
Fred: Well you know, they’re everywhere and take the kittens wiv them and sometimes they ‘ang around at the local parliament building – ‘ave some smashing grub there when they ‘ave a reception. Smoked salmon, roast beef and all that sort of fing. Those political ‘umans really know ‘ow to eat. Anyhow as I was saying, if you listen to some of that political stuff you get ideas and they have some lady ‘umans there that always want the same treatment as the man ‘umans and even get it, like same earnings, free time when they’re expecting and baby rest..
Long Tail Al: And wot ‘as that got to do wiv our ladies? I don’t fink I am ‘earing right some’ow.
Fred: Well, like my missus says it’s all finished wiv leaving ‘er alone wiv the kittens. These days when they’re born, she looks after them for the first couple of weeks, and when they start walking around I ‘ave to keep an eye on ‘em when she goes to the lady cat meetings.
Long Tail Al: Slimy – go and get Gladys I wanna ‘ave a few words wiv ‘er.
Fred: Gladys ain’t got time at the moment. She’s doing muvver duty so that the other ladies can go out for a walk together or take a rest. Tomorrow she can oblige as it will be Mabel’s turn to look after the kittens and Gladys will ‘ave time. Gladys says because she is expecting again, she needs a bit more rest. Do you need me much longer boss, I ‘ave to go a catch a few mice for dinner for the family.
Long Tail Al: Can someone tell me what is going on in my section of town. I’m finking about waging a war, risking my life and I find out I am leading a bunch of sissies that do wot their women say.
Slimy: Mr. Grey is ‘ere again. ‘E ‘as some news.
Mr. Grey: Good evening Long Tail Al, I now have a plan for the attack tomorrow evening.
Long Tail Al: Yea, well, I am all ‘ears. Fred don’t go too far our conversation ain’t finished yet.
Fred: Ok, boss, see ya later.
Mr. Grey: I thought we would take about 100 cats tomorrow evening and sleak along the river banks. The country cats don’t like river banks because of the water.
Long Tail Al: My cats don’t like water either Grey.
Mr. Grey: You don’t have to go through the water, but walk along the banks. That way you won’t be noticed and you can take them by surprise.
Long Tail Al: Yeah, sounds good. What do we do when we are there
Mr. Grey: You have to go up the slope – the country cats will be expecting you to come from the direction of the town and we will take them by surprise by coming from behind.
Long Tail Al: And wot about Big Tom’s villa. ‘Ave you got the plan.
Mr. Grey: First of all you take over the territory and then the cats will retreat to the villa. I will then let you have the plan of the villa.
Long Tail Al: You’re a sly one Grey, don’t trust me eh.
Mr. Grey: I trust you as much as you trust me.

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