Friday, 26 October 2007

Reservoir Cats - 7

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Tabby: It seems you taught Grey a lesson he won’t forget so soon, but you didn’t have to give him all the catnip. There is nothing left for me.
Nera: Tabby, you can forget the catnip for the next few weeks and months. I am putting you on cold turkey.
Tabby: I love cold turkey, especially the white meat.
Bobinette: Tabby I sink you ‘ave not undersood what Nera is saying. Cold turkey is when you ‘ave to stop taking drugs, like sniffing catnip.
Nera: Tabby I have had enough of your addiction. You sleep 23 hours a day and spend an hour in the catnip beds. The other cats will start talking about you, and I don’t want to be known as the cat with the catnip junky sister. There will be no catnip anymore for you, understand?
Tabby: There is no more catnip, I had a sniff around, but Grey seems have got it all.
Bobinette: That cannot be. We ‘ad some left in the gardens.
Tabby: I saw Grey just after midnight collecting it in his fur and then he walked off in the direction of the town.
Nera: I wonder what he is up to, probably some mischief. I just don’t trust that Grey. Big Tom is such a good gatto di tutti gatti, so I suppose that Grey is just the black sheep of the famly.

The Town
Long Tail Al: Hey slimy, bring me some mice, I feel ‘ungry.
Slimy: Al, there ain’t none left. Charlie ‘ad the rest for supper.
Long Tail Al: Charlie ain’t got no business eating my mice. Wait till I get ‘old of him, I’ll wring ‘is scrawny neck for ‘im. Ain’t there nuffing left to ‘ave a nosh at Slimy.
Slimy: No boss, it’s all gone. Perhaps there might be the odd rat around, but they’re getting a bit sly these days, since they started cleaning the sewers out in the town.
Long Tail Al: Gordon Bennett, you don’t get nuffing for free these days wiv those umans around ya. Who’s that scratching at the door. Go and ‘ave a butchers Slimy.
Slimy: Boss it’s a scrawny grey cat but ‘e stinks of catnip.
Long Tail Al: What cha don’t say Slimy. Let’s ‘ave a sniff at im
Mr. Grey: Good evening gentlemen, I do hope I am not disturbing you.
Slimy: Oh dear we ain’t ‘alf posh ain’t we. No, you ‘ain’t disturbing us is ‘e Boss.
Long Tail Al: Well, that depends on what ‘is business is, don’t it.
Mr. Grey: As a token of my respect I would like to present you with some catnip, just shake it out of my fur, there should be enough to go round.
Long Tail Al: Well ain’t that nice, ain’t got any mice wiv ya, ‘ave ya?
Mr. Grey: Where I come from we have plenty of mice running around in the fields, but I am afraid I couldn’t bring any.
Slimy: ‘ear that boss, lots of mice in the fields. What part of the woods do you come from, the way you talk, don’t sound like one of us.
Mr. Grey: I live out in the country, just one village down the road.
Long Tail Al: You don’t appen to mean that place where Big Tom is in charge do ya?
Mr. Grey: Well, it just so happens that I am Big Tom’s son.
Slimy: Then ‘ow comes that you’re bringing catnip from Big Tom’s reviere. ‘Him being gatto di tutti gatti, wouldn’t fink ‘e would allow that n’all.
Long Tail Al: Yea, sounds a bit suspicious to me. ‘Ad a bit of bovver with ya dad, ‘ave ya?
Mr. Grey: Let’s just say we don’t always see eye to eye on various problems. That’s why I’m here, I have a proposition to make. I heard that mice and rats are getting fairly scarce in town at the moment since the humans have started cleaning out the sewers.
Slimy: What ya don’t say, yea, the mice ‘ave all moved out.
Mr. Grey: Well that’s what I wanted to explain. Where I come from we have more than enough mice to go round.
Long Tail Al: Do ya mean enough for us lot as well.
Mr. Grey: At the moment Big Tom has the monopoly over the mice population and decides who gets what. That’s why you don’t see so many mice around any more. As soon as they go to the country he keeps them happy during the Summer when there is plenty for them to eat, so they stay and multiply.
Slimy: Multiply. ‘ear that boss, blimy he talks right posh don’t ‘’e.
Long Tail Al: Belt up Slimy and let the gent talk, ‘ave a feeling we might be onto something good. I’ve always fancied a bit of life in the country. Call in one eye Fred and ‘is moll Gladys. They ‘ave a growing family, ‘ad another 6 kittens a couple of weeks back, so I’m sure they would be ‘elping to take over a bit of mice country.
Slimy: Fred, Gladys, come ‘ere. Boss wants to ‘ave a few words.
Fred: Mean about the mice out in the country.
Long Tail Al: Been listening at the door again Fred.
Fred: Well one of me eyes might be missing, but me ears are ok.
Gladys: Sounds good, you know it’s not easy bringing up a family these days. Always so many mouths to feed.
Long Tail Al: And by the look of fings, the family will be growing a bit more in the next month.Well, meet Mr. Grey, ‘e ‘as a good idea ‘ow to keep your family ‘appy and well fed through the Winter.
Mr. Grey: I would just like to mention that Big Tom will not give his mice monopoly voluntarily. He will have to be persuaded and he has a few cats protecting his rights and territory. You will have to force them to make room first of all, but that shouldn’t be too difficult for such a brave cat like yourself Mr. Long Tail Al.
Fred: Oh my gawd, did ya ‘ear that Gladys.
Gladys: Oh yeah, but ‘es a gent Fred, you could learn a few fings from ‘im. You know life isn’t just dustbins and kittens, there’s more to it if you know where to find it.
Long Tail Al: Ok Mr. Grey I fink we got a deal. I wouldn’t mind moving in on Big Tom. That bloke ‘as been getting on me nerves for a long while. ‘im and ‘is snobby cat gang living a life of Riley.
Mr. Grey: I will need a couple of nights to spy out the lay of the land, but will come back in a few days with a plan.
Long Tai Al: Fine, Slimy see the gent out and stop scratching all the time, anyone would fink you ‘ad fleas.

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