You’ve come into possession of one vial of truth serum. Who would you give it to (with the person’s consent, of course) — and what questions would you ask?
“Drink it”
“No”
“I said drink it, tell the truth for once.”
“I always tell the truth. I am a legend. The children believe what I say when I arrive through the chimney carrying all the gifts..”
“Now that is a lie for the beginning. No human climbs down a chimney with a sack on his back, and chimneys no longer exist. it is all central heating now. By the way it is laced with whisky.”
“Glug, glug, glug: very tasty. You want to know the truth Since they stopped lighting fires and use oil or even electricity, we don’t really bother with climbing. There is nowhere to climb. Actually to be quite honest we do not even exist. Father Christmas is humbug. Just look at me, I am only here for the decoration. Do you really think I am clinging on a ladder in the face of the danger of falling. Of course not. We are all marked with “made in Hong Kong” on the sole of our boots and in Hong Kong they don’t have Christmas. “
“And I thought you lived in Greenland and spent the year making gifts for the children and feeding the reindeers to make them strong enough to pull the sledge.”
“What sledge? It is all done online these days. Little Johnny screams for a computer for Christmas, so Johnny’s parents go online, choose the cheapest and order it. It arrives by post reindeer in a box and paid for with a credit card.”
“You mean the parents no longer visit the Christmas market with their children.”
“Of course they do, all part of the publicity stunts.The kids no longer believe in us and where do you see a father Christmas with a kid on his knee asking what they want for Christmas. You only have to pat their head and get too close, you are arrested for child molesting. Better to stay away from the kids. Selling toffee apples at a distance is safer.”
“And on Christmas eve?”
“What’s with Christmas Eve. Most of the kids know what they are getting.”
“That’s true, I remember going to bed and in the morning I woke up to find all the parcels on the bed. How excited I was unpacking everything.”
“Yes, well if the truth serum was around then, you would have realised that your parents bought it all and crept in the bedroom while you were sleeping. Or do you do it differently?”
“Sort of, but I don’t believe in Christmas, just do it for the others.”
“I wouldn’t drink too much of that serum, it was reserved for me.”
“But it tastes quite good, looks like it was a good quality whisky.”
“And now I must go, it is a long climb up the chimney back to the rooftop where Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer is waiting with his brothers to pull the sleigh.”
“But I though it didn't exist.”
“The serum is wearing off and it was a good story over the centuries: coming with me as my assistant?”
“Why not, I have never ridden in a sleigh over the roof tops and it has started snowing. Look a shooting star.”
“Drink some more serum, otherwise you might even begin to believe it all.”
