Daily Prompt: Worlds Colliding

Take two main characters from two different books (either fiction or nonfiction) and introduce them to, or have them meet, each other. What would happen next?

“Mr. Dracula I presume.”

“Yes, but how did you know my name. I usually like to surprise people at midnight.*

“I deduced it of course, by the fangs protruding and covering part of your lower lip, the black cloak and the blood stains on your white shirt. You should really wear a clean white shirt daily. By the way may I introduce myself. Sherlock Holmes.”

“Oh, I see, but I do wear a clean white shirt daily. One of the hazards of my profession probably. Of course you are Mr. Holmes, your fame has even extended to parts of Transylvannia. I read “The Case of the Toothless Werewolf”, a very sad story. The peasants in a neighbouring village asked for protection from a Werewolf that had been biting some of the young men in the village. There were no more farm labourers to do the work, they had all turned into werewolves. I was watching the situation with joy, seeing that my followers were being increased and then one of the village chieftains, I believe it was Winnetou, the brave, had the idea to engage your good self.”

“Yes I remember the case well Mr. Dracula, although this Winnetou person was rather annoying. He had the habit of calling me “Old Shatterhand” instead of Mr. Holmes.  Of course I was under obligation to preserve the existence of the wolves, without harm to their species, and consulted my assistant, Dr. Watson. Although a doctor, he was trained originally as a veterinarian and so knew how to discourage the wolves from transforming humans into werewolves.”

“I believe it was a very interesting course of action he took.”

“Oh yes, he fed the wolves with oreos, M & M’s, and other such sweet delights. I believe the complete Mars range of candies was involved. He gave them Coca Cola to drink and the case was solved to perfection. The Werewolves lost their teeth due to decay.”

“Which was not such a good solution for the Werewolves.”

“But you realise the end of the story Mr. Dracula?”

“I must admit I was so saddened by the toothless werewolves, that I could not bring it over me to finish the story.”

“You should have read on. Dr. Watson and I are both animal lovers and Dr. Frankenstein obliged by developing a method of enabling new human friendly teeth to grow in the Werewolves’ mouth that would recede when the wolf would bite into human flesh.”

“Oh, I see. A genial idea Mr. Holmes, but I believe the Folks tale did not foresee that Werewolves could not draw blood.”

“Now, now Mr. Dracula, you must admit that it was a good solution for all.”

“That we now meet at last Mr. Holmes, perhaps you could assist in a problem I have. It seems I tend to have a negative effect on the ladies. When I attempt to caress their necks with my teeth, they scream and faint.”

“Yes, Mr. Dracula, but you must admit that the shape of two overlong fangs aiming for the jugular vein is not exactly inviting, although I would perhaps have a solution.”

“Yes, tell me, my dear Sherlock, I would be forever grateful.”

“What sort of tooth paste do you use? and the size of the tooth brush is also important. Perhaps you have bad breath, if I dare to say.”

“Do you think that Dr. Frankenstein would have an appropriate instrument in his laboratory.”

“I am not sure, but in this case I would contact Dr. Hannibal Lecter, he is a specialist on dealing with the characteristics of the human body. Just mention my name when you call him, but do not mention you are undead.”

“Do your think that might be a problem?”

“My dear Dracula, he is always endeavouring to improve his abilities, and the digestion of human blood would be a solution to many of his problems. He is a constant sufferer of indigestion.”

“Thank you so much Mr. Holmes, I must give him a bite, sorry a call of course.”

WordPress Daily Post: Fireside Chat

What person whom you don’t know very well in real life — it could be a blogger whose writing you enjoy, a friend you just recently made, etc. — would you like to have over for a long chat in which they tell you their life story?

There are not many firesides left today, all being replaced by electricity and gas. This fireside is completely artificial. Although the flames flicker it is all show, just to make it homely. I do not really do long chats and listening to someone telling their life story is the most boring thing I can imagine. We bloggers tend to include details of our private life, it is an occupational hazard when blogging. If I ever have the opportunity to meet them, I would not waste time listening to their life’s history and they would probably tell me to read all about it on their blog. After all the main motto of our blogging site seems to be “tell us all about it”.

Of course there are a few that I would like to have a conversation with, but most are dead. I would start with Giuseppe Garibaldi - Who? Yes that is exactly what I thought when I discovered that many pubs in England, especially places on the coast, were called The Garibaldi. Apparently he made a big impact when he paid a visit to London in the 19th century. The streets were lined with people wanting to see this hero. He also managed to cross the pond and visit an english colony over there. He was not a bad looker and he probably thought they would offer him a part in a film: “How I won the battle of Palermo” but it seemed that was not the case and it was Lucky Luciano that got all the honours. I asked my family in England who this Garibaldi was, but they did not have a clue. In my later years I knew a few Italians in my workplace so asked them what they knew about Garibaldi. 

“He was a freedom fighter” was the answer. 

“Whose freedom, what freedom?”

“I don’t now, I will have to ask my father.”

Is seems the secret surrounding Garibaldi had almost been forgotten, even by the Italians. So what do you do? You go to the library and lend a few books. Better was when I was on a visit to the Swiss capital of Bern, just a half hour away from where I live by motorway. I discovered one of those dark bookshops with a random dog eared collection sitting in a bookcase outside on the pavement and lo and behold they had two books at a very good price (probably because of the dog ears and looking like something the dog brought in) which I bought. I was now equipped with my Garibaldi collection. Ok, he was an adventurer, a real dare devil. He went to war on a horse, one of his wives riding with him very much pregnant and decided to unite Sicily and all the other states in Italy to make one country. Now even the mafia could not unite Sicily, so he had to give up. Eventually he lived in a villa on the island of Sardina where he died and was buried. A friend of mine was on holiday in Sardinia and visited his villa and saw the grave. I decided he would be worth a fireside chat. Read all about it Giuseppe Garibaldi.

My next victim would be Fidel Castro, the ex boss of Cuba. I seem to have a thing for those rebels and freedom fighters. I knew nothing about Castro, so bought his autobiography. It was very interesting. I don’t know whether I would invite him for a fireside chat. I do not like cigar smoke, it would make me cough and not smell so good afterwards. Sorry Fidel, lets meet somewhere outside, perhaps in the garden.

Dracula would be a conversation worth, but I would have to meet him in the middle of the night and decorate the fireside with garlic to pacify his longing for some fresh blood. Perhaps I could hang a cross over the fireside, just to make sure that I would survive the chat. I could, of course, meet him at the hospital in the blood bank. He would definitely be happy and I would have no problems.

Talking of blood, today was the big High Noon at my docs, for Mr. Swiss and me. I got there first so could talk all about it with the doc. She had a sheet with all my values, blood, joints, cholesterol, iron, etc. etc. According to all the details I am one of the most healthy people alive. Even my blood sugar was normal, although she confirmed that was because I am taking tablets. The cholesterol levels were good..

“Does that mean that I no longer to take my daily tablet for cholesterol?”

“No, it is because you take the tablet that it is normal.”

“If everything is so good, why do I have pains in my body when I arise in the morning?”

“That is normal, it gets better when you start moving.”

I could not disagree with this, but I said look at my fingers on the left hand. She did.

“That is arthritis, mainly in the thumb and the first finger. We could operate it.”

I decided no, there would be no operation. I have never heard of anyone dying with arthritis in the thumb and one finger and besides, it looks quite interesting. One finger twice the width of the others and the thumb with a strange bump on the joint. Not everyone has such interesting fingers.

So, time to go, and be careful of those fireside chats, although I would be free on Sunday evening and next week on Wednesday evening if anyone is interested.

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WordPress Daily Prompt: Pleased to Meet You

Write a post in which the protagonists of two different books or movies meet for the first time. How do they react to each other? Do they get along?

“I deduce you are not a member of the medical profession.”

“No, why should I be.”

“I deduce that such a painting would not be of interest to a doctor. It shows only the skull and not the reasons for the departure of the subject of the painting. Doctors prefer to see marks on the body.”

“You are wrong. I am very partial to marks on a body, but mainly when the body is complete with the skin and the necessary organs.”

“Yes. that is plain to see.”

“Plain to see, you seem to see everything. May I ask what your interest is in this painting? This is the first day that it is exhibited. Oh, and would you mind extinguishing your meerschaum pipe, the smoke is disturbing my blood circulation.”

“Of course, I can tell by your complexion that you have health problems.”

“I do not have health problems. I just have to ensure that my intake of liquids in sufficient.”

“In that case I could perhaps invite you to a drink in the gallery restaurant to replenish your liquid intake.”

“That is very condescending, but I do not think their drink card would meet my requirements.”

“I thought they would not, you prefer something special, organic, something rare perhaps.”

“I suppose you could say that. If you do not mind an observation, you seem to be quite confident in your knowledge.”

“Of course, I am the greatest detective and see all.”

“I am an expert in my own way of course, there are not many of us remaining.”

“I deduced that this was the case Mr. Dracula.”

“How do you know my name, I am travelling incognito under the name of Smith, but I suppose it is part of your profession Mr. Holmes.”

“Very clever for a vampire to recognise me, but not so much. I decided to produce my Meerschaum pipe to give you a clue. You had no need to give any clues. It was quite obvious that you were the Undead of all Undeads.”

“But I have normal teeth to fitting over my elongated molars and I have coloured my usual pale complexion with makeup.”

“Mr. Dracula, there are some things you cannot hide, or can hide to pronounce it better. The shade of hot pink lipstick is not a very good choice. You must regard the mirror on the wall.”

“I am regarding it.”

“Exactly, you have no reflection.”

“Oh, but you are not as clever as you think Mr. Holmes. Who else would be wearing a deerstalker hat and a cloak with a magnifying glass peeping out of his jacket pocket, not to mention the violin case you are carrying.”

“The violin case is camouflage. I use it to carry my Kalishnikov. The criminals are no longer satisfied with a vial of poison, or a gun. Those are the toys of the Victorian age. Today we must be one step ahead. I deduce you have read the books by my biographer, Mr. Conan Doyle. I knew you would be at this art exhibition today Mr. Dracula. It was quite obvious that the painting is a portrait of your goodself, painted by the great artist Jonathan Harker.”

“Be careful what you say Mr. Holmes. Others may hear us, the evening is drawing close and it seems to be a full moon night. I will now leave, but be warned, I will be watching for you.”

“Oh Dracula, that I have to laugh. Your memory is growing weak with age. Do you not remember the night when I left the window open to my bedroom and you clambered  onto my bed and placed your molars in the depth of my neck. That was my cunning plan,  we are of the same kind Dracula.”

“You know everything Sherlock. Let us become partners. I will leave the bloodless corpses strewn over my path and you will be successful by discovering who committed the murder.”

“You are forgetting something Dracula. We are now both members of the undead profession and it will not be possible for the idiot police to discover which of us was the murderer. We must leave a wrong trail. I have a tie belonging to Bruce Willis. We will tie it around the neck of the victim to pretend death by strangling.”

“That will not work Sherlock.”

“Why ever not?”

“I paid Bruce Willis a visit yesterday at midnight. He has such a lovely neck and the jugular vein was so inviting. He is one of us.”

“Hello boys, Vlad and Sherlock. What about paying a visit to the local blood bank, I am thirsty.

“Bruce how nice, of course. What group do you prefer?”

“Yes Bruce, we would love to accompany you.”

“I will take group “O”. It is the most common and I am only an apprentice vampire. I have to accustom myself slowly to this new way of life death.”

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WordPress Daily Prompt: The Show Must Go On

If you were involved in a movie, would you rather be the director, the producer, or the lead performer? (Note: you can’t be the writer!). 

Photographers, artists, poets: show us CELEBRITY.

“Where is Karl? How am I to be expected to produce an epic horror film without the leading actor?”

“Did I hear you call my name boss, sorry I am late, but my presence was required at a party: one of those events where they needed a genuine attraction. It was a dress-up party with a horror theme and I was the star of course.”

“OK, Karl, forget the weak excuse. We are all waiting for you. Dementia Mort has been laying on the gravestone for an hour waiting for the shooting to begin.”

“Yes boss, and I am sure to get rheumatism from those cold stones. Aaahtishoo! You see I have already got a cold, probably pneumonia. Why do we always have to do these horror films so realistic? We could have built a set in the studio, but no, we have to do it in an old rotting graveyard. Yuck! There is a spider crawling over the gravestone.”

“Sorry Dementia” answered Karl “but I was really being celebrated at the party. They were fascinated by my life-style acting.”

“Karl, can we begin? Dementia are you ready?” said the producer.

“Boss I have been ready for an hour.”

“I see you have found time to visit the make-up Karl. At least we can start without having to fit the Dracula fangs and give your eyes a red tinge.”

“But boss!”

“No buts Karl. Shoot!”

And the cameras began to whirl. Karl bent over Dementia, aiming his fangs at her neck and there was a scream.”

“Dementia, your scream was too early, Karl does not yet have the blood dripping from his teeth.”

“I was trying to tell you boss, but you are not listening…”

“There is no time to listen Karl. What is wrong Dementia, did you sit on a thorn?”

“No, boss but it was the fang. It was too sharp.”

“Dementia it is only plastic. Karl, I like realism, but not too much, just be more careful. Let’s shoot the scene again.”

“Boss I think we are going to have a problem with this scene.”

“A problem? Karl all you have to do is bite on the blood capsule in your mouth and make as if you have pierced the jugular vein on Dementia’s neck. Is that so difficult?”

“It was the party yesterday evening, something was wrong.”

“Tell me about it Karl and then we can continue.”

“There were a couple of gate crashers around midnight and they were dressed to look like vampires, but I think they were vampires. I was drinking red wine and they somehow changed my glass.”

“Karl make it short, so we can shoot the scene. It is getting darker and we have no floodlights.”

“I was trying to tell you, boss, it was not red wine they gave me. Afterwards I noticed that my teeth began to grow and today I have been having problems with the day light.”

“Tell me about it afterwards Karl. This pause in the shooting is costing at least $500 an hour.”

So the shooting of the film continued. It was really very realistic and the producer was pleased. Karl had a bad conscience. He enjoyed piercing Dementia’s neck and found it very refreshing. Dementia fell into a trance according to the script, but it was so genuine that they had problems waking her afterwards. Karl had a bad conscience. He did try to tell the producer that he had no time to visit make-up before the shooting and it was all genuine. No plastic teeth and no blood capsule, but he had to admit it was much more fun.

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WordPress Daily Prompt: Second Time Around

Tell us about a book you can read again and again without getting bored - what is it that speaks to you?

I have spent many evenings reading the book, one of my favourites, so vivid and such a good story line. It was now one of those moonlit nights, just the right atmosphere for another re-read of Dracula by Bram Stoker.

“Story? never, although I must admit Bram did play a bit with the facts.” and my friend Morticia from Transylvania flew through the open window.

“Morticia, how lovely to see you.”

“Hello Angloswiss I had to pop in when I heard that you were telling everyone how good your favourite book is. When great granddaddy Dracula about fifteen times removed appeared to Bram Stoker in a dream telling him to write it all down, he knew he had chosen the right man for the task. Not that Bram had much success with anything else, but he really got down to the facts with granddad Dracula’s life.”

“True, it is such a captivating book. I have read it so often and each time I discover something else. I always wondered how Jonathan Harker managed to get away with it all. His visit to Dracula in the Carpathian mountains, and he didn’t lose a drop of his own blood.”

“Of course not” answered Morticia “granddad Dracula knew what he was doing. It would not have been a good idea to turn him into an undead like the rest of us. He would have returned to England and the residence for granddad would not have been organised. You know that old deserted church. Great uncle Jonathan would have been too busy looking for suitable victims and not attended to Dracula’s needs in England.”

This was getting interesting. It is so much more informative when you actually speak to people that knew the characters in the book.

“Did Jonathan marry into the Dracula family, that you call him great uncle Morticia?”

“Sort of, I mean not everything is the pure truth in the book. Mina Harker Jonathan's fiancée was supposed to be cured although she wasn’t really ill, just slowly becoming undead. For all reading the book and not wanting to disturb their peace of mind, Bram had her cured. Even Jonathan thought she had overcome her thirst for blood, but cutting a long story short, Jonathan is now my great uncle. We welcomed him into the family with a wonderful feast, although he did have a problem at first not being able to see his reflection in the mirror.”

“I see. By the way Morticia, would you like something to drink, you must be thirsty travelling all the way from Transylvania to see me. If I had known you were coming, I would have picked up something to drink for you at the local blood bank.”

“No problem Angloswiss, I dropped in on my way here and have a couple of plastic pouches with me.”

“I will give you a glass.”

“Not necessary” and Morticia pierced the plastic with her fangs and quenched her thirst.”

“Anything to eat Morticia?”

“No thanks, I will take a walk in the park this evening, might find something there.”

It was always something completely different having a great granddaughter of Dracula visiting.

“What about Van Helsing Morticia, he seemed to have cleared a few vampires out of the way.”

“Well you have to have a hero somewhere when you write a book. That was Bram Stoker’s idea and Dracula decided to let him have his way. After all, the book had to be a best seller to make sure that Dracula would never be forgotten. He had to leave his mark in the world of literature.”

“Yes Morticia, he seemed to have left many marks across Europe, a sort of fil rouge I suppose you could say.”

“True Angloswiss, it certainly was a red thread. We are so proud of him in the old country. If it wasn’t for people like you that re-read the book so often, granddad Dracula would have been long forgotten.

I have to be on my way now Angloswiss, it was so nice to see you again. Come, I will give you a big hug and kiss before I go. The family send their best wishes. We love you so much.”

“Morticia it was lovely that you visited me, I do not want to seem impolite, but I do have quite a cough and cold and would not want to infect you, so just a handshake will do. Arrive home safely.”

“No problem Angloswiss goodbye” and she opened the window and flew out until her cloak was just a black speck in the distance. I am running out of excuses for refusing a goodbye kiss, but when she approaches her fangs seem to be bigger and sharper and she never wants to kiss me on the lips, but on the neck.