Sunday, 15 November 2015

Feline Topic Generator: Dull Feline Analyst


.”Tabby what are you doing?”

“I am gathering inspiration for some scientific feline knowledge.”

“With a bowl of water and a mobile phone. That will be a dull feline analysis.”

“Mrs. Human that is not just water. It is the essence of a feline life. Are you aware of the various mixtures of minerals that are contained in just one paw of water.”

“No Tabby, but I am sure you are about to tell me.”

“Meowing all the facts is too much, even for a super intelligent feline like myself. You can read my notes afterwards on my pawphone. I am making an analysis on a daily basis.”

“But who is going to be interested Tabby?”

“Butch, Roschti, Tiddles, Django and Daisy, just to name a few members of my Analytical group. We are all testing the water by paw and exchange the facts over our pawphones. Afterwards we will meow a comparison and it will become part of our Encyclopaedia Pawtannica: guidelines for all felines. It might even be that the life of an unsuspecting kitten, fresh to the world of water tasting, will be improved. I see the future will be for the felines that will know their water qualities.”

“And what did you deduce from the current water sample.”

“It is one of the finer juices, partly rainwater, with a residue of puddle. I have also discovered that the bowl was rinsed with a small amount of vinegar before filling with water. This should be avoided at all times Mrs. Human.”

“But otherwise your bowl will have a layer of lime from the water.”

“Mrs. Human do you rinse your tea pot with vinegar every day.”

“Oh, no, that would leave an unpleasant after taste.”

“Exactly, so just let us felines be felines with our water. And now to paw some results.
Quality by smell=good
Quality by taste=good, but with a hint of acid left in the taste buds after swallowing due to impurities in the bowl (see Mrs. Human)
Quality for digestion=to be absorbed in paw sized quantities. 
Quality of fresh rain= Excellent, to be slurped and gulped as fast as possible an then relax for a while to let the body absorb and savour the liquid refreshment.
And now to send my results by WMS to all my feline colleagues.”

“WMS Tabby?”

“Whisker Message Service of course.”