Most of us are excellent at being self-deprecating and are not so good at the opposite. Tell us your favourite thing about yourself.
"I am doing this one Mrs. Human. I am such a modest feline and no-one really can appreciate my talents. So I will write a little about myself for a change."
"Mrs. Human, are you sure about this?" It was Nera's sister Tabby, born in the same litter.
"Of course Mrs. Human is sure" said Nera. "Now I have the chance to show what a genius I am."
"For example Nera?" asked Tabby.
"I organise things here, otherwise you and
Fluffy would make a complete chaos. I always taste the tuna fish first, to
ensure that it is edible."
"Yes Nera" answered Fluffy. "The
problem is you eat it all and there is not enough for us all. Tabby or I have
to tell Mrs. Human to serve some more. We all have our own dish, but you eat
all the dishes."
"Fluffy, it is for your own safety. I am
risking my life for your benefit. What if the tuna fish is bad. Then I am the
one to suffer, not you or Tabby."
"But Nera the tuna fish is never bad. Mrs.
Human always makes sure it is fresh and safe to eat." said Tabby.
"That is a triviality Tabby. I am very generous
and looking after your welfare and Fluffy's. You should be more grateful."
"Of course" Nera continued "it is a
well known fact that I am the most beautiful and graceful cat in the
neighbourhood. My body sways so delicately when I move, it is the real poetry
in motion. Stop laughing behind your paw Tabby. This is a serious matter."
"Sorry Nera, but I have not yet read the poem
that would describe your movements."
"If I may say so" added Fluffy "Nera
reminds me more of a large ship on a rough sea, her swaying movments exist it
is true, but a ship sways as well when it sails over the ocean in a
storm."
"A very good description Fluffy, as if Nera was
perhaps carrying too much weight? As if she would be carrying too much
cargo?"
"Yes, exactly Tabby, perhaps she should eat
less?"
"Tabby, Fluffy, do you both have a death wish?
Hisssss! I have the pefect feline figure. There is not a morsel of fat on my
bones, it is all fluff. Genuine wonderful fur, like silk, that shines in the
sunlight It can almost be blinding with such a wonderful reflection."
Nera was annoyed that her beauty and talents had not been honoured by her
fellow felines.
"Admittedly you do have more fur than Fluffy or
me" said Tabby "and it is true that everyone adores your wonderful
long fur. It is a comfortable place and attractive for snails, ants, earwigs
and even tics. It is true" continued Tabby "you are admired by many
living creatures. They just seem to get attached to you."
"Are you insinuating that my luxury fur is a
home for insects." and Nera lifted her hind leg and scratched behind her
ear.
.
"Oh no, Nera, Tabby and I would never say that, but Mrs. Human sometimes has a problem if a tic, after having its dinner, sort of drops to the floor in our home and she might tread on it and squash it. She finds it a bit messy having blood on the white tiles."'
.
"Oh no, Nera, Tabby and I would never say that, but Mrs. Human sometimes has a problem if a tic, after having its dinner, sort of drops to the floor in our home and she might tread on it and squash it. She finds it a bit messy having blood on the white tiles."'
"Mrs. Human is just a sensitive homo sapiens
and does not recognise the qualities of being a feline."
"But Mrs. Human says that she does not like
cutting the dried up snails out of your fur. You have to go to the vets once a
year for a hair cut, and he even has to put you to sleep when he is doing
it."
"Do not get personal Fluffy. I have to put up
with your rastafari dreadlocks. Not normal for a feline, and don't come with
the Selkirk Rex excuse. Just a freak of nature. Now what you see on me is 100%
genuine. Jelousy can be so annoying, but I understand. It is just not every
feline that has the gift of being so beautiful as myself. "
"Are you finished with your blog Nera, can I
upload it"
"Of course Mrs. Human, I think I have included
the most important thing. Do you think my photo does me justice or shall I put
another one in the blog."
"Perhaps a second photo would be a good
idea."
"No problem Mrs. Human, we will choose one to
honour the beauty of our chief cat Nera" said Tabby and Fluffy together,
and here it is. Nera was not actually pleased with the choice, but that is
another discussion.
the story was great but that last photo was P R I C E L E S S !!! LOL
ReplyDeleteThat was hilarious. All is not harmonious in the feline world sometimes, methinks :-))
ReplyDeleteYour feline characters remind me of some humans... Another good tale which I really liked to read...
ReplyDeleteFantastic read Pat and yes, the ending IS priceless. LOL
ReplyDeleteWonderful character read :) too funny :)
ReplyDeleteyou made my day and made me smile. Thank you darling Pat and darling feline friends .......... *cough* ........message from Princess Mousie "momsie, listen up, just read this, wanna say something" "okay, what Mouse" " I really think I am much much prettier and fluffier than that Fluffy in Switzerland, but I do like her, she is my friend, so will not say anything, to hurt her feelings. Also, put to sleep for grooming, really, she sounds a cry baby, but don't tell her, just tell Mrs Human, how you bath me and she can try that, it is not so bad, when you get used to it and daddy is so sweet when he brush me out" ............so there you have it, out Her Royal Higness's mouth ............ Toot your horn and sway or sashay, like a princess ......... Hugs you tight.
ReplyDeletetoo funny! Nera needed to be brought back down to ground and you did it quite well Pat!
ReplyDelete