Monday, 15 September 2008

It was raining, but not for cats

Reed and Budleia in Garden with Nera the cat

“Perhaps it is just me, but the weather over the weekend was totally ridiculous. Let me introduce myself. I am number one cat, Nera, the one with the sleeky sexy body and long luxurious fur. Mr. and Mrs. Human live with me and are quite handy two legged cats by supplying the food and a good place to sleep. Unfortunately Mrs. and Mrs. Human are not able to control the weather, something that even we supreme cats do not control. Bast our big boss in the olden days in Egypt was working on the problem, but discovered that in Egypt it was not really necessary. The sun was shining most of the time and for the few rain showers that occurred, shelter in a corn chamber was sufficient, after all that was where our food was living. Sweet little creatures called mice. There were so many of them that the Egyptian humans were quite pleased when we decimated the population from time to time.

So where was I?”
“You was telling your audience about rain”
“That was Tabby mixing in my lecture. Tabby is my half sister. We were born in the same litter, but somehow she did not inherit my good looks and style. I think her father was just an ordinary tabby cat with short fur.”
“I beg your pardon Nera. It might be short and ordinary, but I do not carry the wildlife you carry in your long black fur most of the time: dried up snails, ants and not to mention the fleas and the tics.”
“I don’t think I heard that right Tabby, I have never had a flea in my fur.”
“That is because Mrs. Human puts some liquid in your fur from time to time to make sure they don’t stay. I have that treatment as well. As far as tics are concerned that is another problem.”
“Tabby, do you want to feel my paw on your whiskers. I do not have tics.”
“Nera I remember last year when Mrs. Human trod on one that had just made a meal on you. She was not very happy and had to clean the floor afterwards. That was a real mess; it resembled a slaughtered mouse. Mrs. Human said how she was glad that it was on the stone floor and not on the carpet.”
“That was an exception Tabby, since then I have not had one tic in my fur.”
“Neither have I Nera, but that was because Mrs. Human bought another special liquid for rubbing into the fur. Thanks to you Nera both me and Fluffy had to have it rubbed in as well and we didn’t even need it.”
“Have you now finished Tabby, so that I can carry on with my lecture. There are a lot of people in that Multiply blog world that would like to read my words of wisdom.”


“Ok Nera, carry on I am sure everyone is waiting for your wise words.”
“Now where was I? Yes I remember, I was just coming to the important point which was Rain. Now we cats don’t mind rain water that lies in puddles. It is very tasty and has a flavour that appeals to our taste buds, but the rain that falls down is not to my approval or my fellow cats. Our fur becomes wet and sticks to our bodies. It takes a long while to dry out, so we cats just have to sit and wait for the rain to go away. This week-end was particularly tragic. I spent a whole night sitting on a chair outside where it was sheltered waiting for the rain to stop.”
“Tabby what is now the problem.”
“I just wanted to say that there was enough room at the top of the cupboard to sleep indoors. You did not have to sit outside with that miserable look on your face.”
“Or course I did, otherwise Mr. and Mrs. Human would not have felt sorry for me. You have to teach these humans that we cats are not always happy about everything.”
“What’s she on about Tabby” and Fluffy arrived.
“That is all I need, a Fluffy opinion. Fluffy how often have I told you Selkirk Rex cats should be seen but not heard.”
“But Tabby is right, Nera. You didn’t have to sit outside it was nice and dry and warm inside. Even our beloved Bast knew when it was time to find a comfortable place to have a sleep.”
“That is not the point Fluffy – go and play with a dog, I don’t need your opinion.”

I think it was time for me to intervene. There was too much hissing going on.
“Nera, what is the problem.”
“Tabby and Fluffy are laughing at me because I stayed outside when it was raining.”
“Nera, you can’t blame them. It was much more comfortable inside. And while we are discussing the subject; you were the only cat outside so I assume that you left that dead mouse in front of the window.”
“Well, it just walked past Mrs. Human, and it seemed such a waste, so I decided it might do for breakfast. After I had a sniff I decided it was two old and mangy I didn’t want it any more.”
“Yes it was Nera, but by the time I found it, it was wet and rigor mortis had already taken over so I had to dispose of it. Now for some good news, it has stopped raining so you can all go out to play now, just like Bast did when the rain stopped.

And Tabby and Nera disappeared to the great outdoors and left me to think how I could stop it raining just to keep Nera happy.


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