Now and again small things tend to disturb my organised cat life. I have a beatiful long silky black fur which I keep in form by washing it quite often during the day. It does tend to get a bit tangled, especially in the Summer months (dried up snails, twigs and grass) which is annoying and my human takes me into his arms and strokes me which can be quite pleasant, but beware. He somes uses scissors and whilst I am trying to relax snips some tangled bits out of my fur. Actually I am quite pleased with this treatment as it makes things easier to groom afterwards, but as Chief cat in the house I cannot stoop to such a level and accept. I try to tell my human this treatment does not comply with my high position, but he just doesn't seem to understand and clamps my neck fur in his hand (making it impossible to move) and continues snipping. After the Summer season I noticed that my human just didn't bother any more - so I thought.
One morning I wanted to take a quick morning stroll after eating breakfast and noticed that the window was closed. After making noises (that is all these humans seem to understand when I want something) I was ingnored. Me - ignored - I sensed there was something up somewhere. My humans seemed to be a bit on the nervous side and suddenly I saw it. The square white metal fenced box with a handle. This is always a signal that a journey would be made to a place which smelt of other animals than cats, and where I had been already. It had unpleasant memories. I once felt bad and had to stay there a few days, away from my usual surroundings. Once I decided to eat 25 cm of string and I was taken there and had to stay at least 3 days.
This was the signal to disappear quickly. Unfortunately I was not quick enough and only got as far as the bathroom. I was suddenly in the bathroom alone with my human. He grabbed me (again by the neck) and carried me to the big white metal box. The lid was closed quickly by the other human and I was fenced in. Me, Nera the Chief of all the cats. I suddenly felt the box moving and I was sitting in a car travelling through the places where I usually went hunting. I did a few miaows but this had no effect on the human driving the car.
Eventually I arrived at the place that brought back so many bad memories. After a while I was moved into another room, someone stroked my chin (I hate having my chin stroked) and I then drifted away into cat nirvana. I had been there before - that was when afterwards I lost all interest in the tom cat next door - come to think of it all tom cats. Some time later I awoke next to another metal box with a cat in it - much different to me and I didn't recognise his smell. I still felt somewhere on another planet, but smelt and heard a voice I recognised. One of my humans.
Another car ride and I was back again where I belonged - in my territory. Still feeling drowsy and not so good I managed to somehow drag myself out of the cage. The rest of the day and night seemed to pass in a mist - nothing interested me, not even my sister Tabby or the stupid little Selkirk Rex cat that lives with us (he is such a baby).
The next day I felt like Nera again, although not quite. I decided to have a morning lick to see what I could find in my wonderful long silky fur. Everything was fine until I started on my body. Everything was so short. No tangles and no dried up snails or other strange objects. All was gone. How insulting - I had not only had a hair cut, but they put me to sleep before they cut my hair. All hopes were dashed of being leading lady in the next Garfield film and I am sure David Attenborough wouldn't even take me into consideration for a film on the Nature Channel. I was only fit for a Hair Restorer advertisement (before and not after). And to think we were worshipped as Gods in Egypt (must look into my ancestry one day).
To add an insult even photos were taken of how my fur was styled.
My Hair Cut
Don't tell my humans, but I do feel a lot better after the haircut. It doesn't itch so much any more and I can move much quicker.
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