Do not ask me why, but one day I had the idea about learning how to do web sites. One of the ideas that I probably should not have had. At the time of this strange idea I was 2 years younger than today. The first step was to enrol in a course as a web assistant.. I didn’t really want to pass any examinations, but just learn it how to do it. However, this was not possible. Every opportunity I found was combined with an examination. What to do – bite into the sour apple and get it done with.
One evening I found myself in the local evening school with 7 other victims all intrepid to become disciples of Bill Gates and revolutionise the world of web. We were a mixed bunch, all ages from 20 to 58 (guess who was 58, the eldest by at least 10 years) and we were ready to go. Our teacher was really good, almost too good. He would give us instructions, but somehow I always seemed to be the one that got the hang of it a bit later than the rest. Nevertheless armed with Dreamweaver and Fireworks I was ready to go.
The first task was HTML – a new foreign language to learn (I was doing this course in German – thank goodness the computer world is based on English expressions). I was soon playing with signs like <a href> or <br> ></br> – words like font or Meta tabs were becoming familiar, although to be quite honest I didn’t really know what to do with this newly discovered language. However, with the guidance of the teacher and a few helping hints from the others in the course I eventually managed to produce a web page. I went home on that evening feeling very triumphant, but didn’t really know how I managed to get to the result.
We had two breaks in an evening course and I could really use them. And what did we talk about in the break? What we were going to do with our newly gained knowledge of computers and how we would go on to do the web publisher and revolutionise the world of web. At least that was what I heard, but I had no such ambitions. I was just happy when I could keep up with everything.
Then we had the evening of photo shop. Our teacher showed us how to create landscapes showing the Matterhorn surrounded by 6 moons in various colours, with a striped background – Picasso would have been happy to see it. However, my Matterhorn just remained a Matterhorn – there was no moon to be seen in the sky, and the sky remained blue.
And then there was the evening of links and Anchors. The idea was to link the pages of the site together and to be able to click around on various signs, photos or words to get to where you should go. Actually I didn’t really have a big problem with linking, I just found that sometimes I had about 6 pages all the same all open at once. A small mistake with relationships on the pages, should it be a parent, blank, self or top. I don’t think I know today, what all those words mean, I just try it out and see what looks best.
Our final examination consisted of 50 questions where you had 4 or 5 answers and had to pick out the correct ones. One, in the plural form, as the answers were multiple choice (I hate multiple choice). Apart from answering these questions we were expected to deliver a complete web site which would help to pass the examination if the answers to the questions were insufficient.
My web site was encountering problems. I decided as the subject the area of London where I grew up – the east End of London – Tower Hamlets. I had so many pages and wanted to use a drop-down menu. This just wouldn’t work. After starting the site at least 5 times, the teacher said that I would have to understand Java script to be able to do the job. Java script – I thought that was something that my bank or post had for the online payments.
Eventually my site was done with simple buttons – at least 20, but they were colourful and they worked. On our last evening together we all passed the exam with flying colours. I even got 94% so didn’t really need my web site to help. Needless to say I did not go on to learn how to be a web publisher. I somehow felt that php and sql would not exactly be my thing. I had suffered enough in the 3 months that I had learnt to reach my goal.
Looking back, I think I sort of made the right decision. My web site from the exam still exists.
It was decided that after all the work and pain I had invested it should remain on the web, so I found myself a reasonable web host and it is still alive today. But it seems I never learn. I belong to the local 1st aid society in our village (all Swiss towns and villages have one) and decided to do a web site for our group. Everyone in the society was happy about it and were asking a week after the decision whether they could have a look at it. I did explain that a web site is not born within a week, but last week-end after 18 months I completed the site and its alive.
Samariterverein Feldbrunnen Riedholz
I am sure there are many reading this – if it is ever read – that think and breathe web and wonder why I have such problems. Let’s just say I understand it today better than I did 2 years ago, but I sometimes wish I had a direct line to Bill Gates when I have a problem. I am so thankful for the nice young men and women working for my web host (probably old enough to be my children) who have patience when I call again for some advice or help.
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