WordPress Daily Prompt: Can't Watch This

When was the last time you watched something so scary, cringe-worthy, or unbelievably tacky — in a movie, on TV, or in real life — you had to cover your eyes?

I watch something every morning when I arise that makes me cringe. I walk to the bathroom and look in the mirror and then ….. I cringe. I never used to cringe, it began about ten years ago, something like the portrait of Dorian Gray, only I do not remain young and it is only my reflection growing old. I am also growing old. Who needs a horror film, I experience it every day in real life.

Apart from the everyday reality of being me, the only thing I actually do not like to see on the TV is sometimes the news. I am not doing political here, it does not matter what side you are on, and let’s face it the world at the moment is in a big mess. Some time ago I remember seeing a film where the Americans were attacking the Iraqis. The next day in the news they showed the exact same film where the Iraqis were attacking the Americans. Same people, same place, same fight, so what is real life? Real life is what the media want us to believe is real life.

Apart from the unbelievable Die Hard films with Bruce Willis I once saw him in a film called Armageddon where he was sent to save the world from the impact of an Asteroid the size of Texas. He went in a spaceship with a team composed of well-known actors intending to blow up the asteroid with a nuclear war head. OK, we all know the way these things happen. Some die, some live but Bruce Willis is unbeatable. It was not a scary film, but a typical example of how the film industry works today. It is all done by computer technology; the actors probably do not even have to be in the studio for the film, they are superimposed on the happenings, so how are we supposed to be scared today. At least in the old days of the black and white science fiction films, they had to make the monsters out of plastic and wire. Today they just press a few buttons.

I remember when I was a kid, probably the beginnings of my developing black views on the world. There was the first series on the BBC Television in 1953 known as “The Quatermass Experiment”, more followed and eventually there was a cinema film. I was eight years old at the time and begged with mum and dad to watch it. It was all sort of artificial plastic extra-terrestrials. I spent most of the time hiding behind the armchair and had a peek in between where I saw some sort of strange bony hand gripping onto something. It was a serial and I only watched one part. I decided to let mum and dad watch the rest. I became quite a fan of horror films as I grew older, but I was then at the age where I knew Dracula’s teeth were plastic and the blood was tomato ketchup.

And now for the horror film in my back yard: I wrote a blog about the slug invasion in my garden earlier this week. I really thought I had it under control, but unfortunately the monsoon season returned, bringing with it ideal conditions for slug families to develop and reproduce. My lawn is full of them every evening, my lovely gallardia plants are clinging to the remainder of the flowers and leaves, due to my picking off the snails. I gave up and decided only brutal horror could save my plants. I walked to the kitchen, opened the cupboard (Dragnet music in the background) and took out a packet of salt. It was cringe worthy, but I won the battle. Since my salt attack on the snails, leaving them melting into the earth, they have sounded the retreat. There are still a few isolated idiot slugs that have not yet seen the fate of their brothers and sisters, but they will learn. I now have things under control, I am the slug killer. Armed with my box of salt, they have now become unbelievably tacky. Mr. Swiss did have a little bother with the mess of slime left on the tiles on the patio, but I reassured him and said I will hose it down when the battle is completely won.

Now here is the horror of it all. I have a second yard at the front of the apartment with slug unfriendly plants. Recently the gardener did a refurbishing job, replacing the lawn with sort of arty stonework and redesigning the flower beds. I was very happy with the result. The gardener also cleaned the tiles at the edge. Today I took a short walk in that part of the garden and oh, horror, I saw three slugs walking. They are now three dead slugs walking. The horror of the whole thing was there were four other slugs and they were dead. I did not kill them and they looked rather strange. Something like a half melted slug, but not quite. Their top half (is that the head) seemed to have injuries. Naturally I took a photo. I showed it to Mr. Swiss and he also found it very strange and disgusting (he is developing a slug phobia I think). Is there a slug killing animal prowling in my garden, the Bruce Willis Demon Die Hard Slug Killer, or did the gardeners put some sort of anti-snail poison in between the stones. It all looks very strange, almost horrific. Ok, for the cringers, cover your eyes or look away, darken your computer screen, here is one. Honest it is real, not plastic.





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WordPress Daily Prompt: Fearless Fantasies

How would your life be different if you were incapable of feeling fear? Would your life be better or worse than it is now?




Imagine being a fly, just a normal average fly. Even their children are despised and hated by the human race. How can a fly mother love something, so white, shiny and squirming, so absolutely disgusting. If you have ever squashed a pregnant fly you know what I am talking about. OK, there is safety in numbers, they appear in hundreds. It is no wonder that mummy fly leaves them to find their own way after they hatch. There is no love between the fly families. Mummy fly flies off and does her own thing, might even meet another daddy fly, sits on a surface with him for an hour or so (that is true love) and life goes on. I am not an expert on flies. I wonder if they have more fear from us than we from them. They are so numerous, and my theory is they are born to be killed. I know this is very mean and no-one is born to be killed, whether animal or human, but tell that to the terrorists.

As I do not want to have a political blog, we all have our own opinions, I wonder how a fly’s life would be different if they could not feel fear. I honestly believe they do not feel fear, otherwise there would not be one circulating around my laptop now, glad to take a fly walk across my terminal. There he is, poised at the top of “Document1 – Microsoft Word”, wondering whether to call his friend over to enjoy the trip across my screen, but no fly No. 2 decided that perching on the mouse gives a better view on life. I now have a real collection of fly photos whilst writing my prize suspicious blogs. Where I go, the camera is always near.

If these flies were slugs, I would not be happy: a slug crawling over the computer, leaving a trial of sticky white transparent whatever in its path.; no thank you. We have a bout of wet weather at the moment. It has only rained once since yesterday, but without pause, constantly. This morning on a garden inspection I saw them approaching, a complete army of slugs, slowly but surely sliming their way to my prize herbs and flowers, munching on their way. I hate them and there was a time when I uttered the word “Ugh” and stood powerless against this invasion. Today, this is not the case. One day I took my courage in my hands fingers, plucked its slimy wet sticky body off a basil leaf and wanting to bring this experience behind me, feeling like a batter in a baseball team, threw the slug as far as possible. They move slowly, so it is a narrow chance that he would find the way back to my garden. I overcame my fear of snails, leaving me with the problem of washing my hands afterwards. Up to now there is no soap or liquid that rids the fingers of snail slime with one wash.

Being a golden oldie (have I said that before), I have been around long enough to take things as they come. I have fallen twice and broken my arm in two different places, I have had a few organs removed from my body and survived. There are a few interesting scars left from various fearless attempts to overcome obstacles. Even arising in the morning after a night’s sleep is a conquest. Will I succeed or not? The first steps to the bathroom are on wobbly legs, but I arrive, holding onto the wall or a cupboard as I go. Everything is strategically placed in my living quarters. Eventually I find a comfortable chair in the kitchen, the scene set with a computer (still covered in milk stains from cereal), and my cup of tea and breakfast at the side. The next obstacle to overcome is rising from the chair. I tend to have a back twinge lately which hems this action, but it can only get better. By the time they let me out to go shopping all limbs seem to be working and I always have Mr. Swiss at my side – something like Roy Rogers and Trigger – to help me on my way.

Drawing to a conclusion, it makes no difference if I feel fear or not. I just bite on my lip, hold my breath and hope for the best. We have a good health system in Switzerland and the hospital is near. They look after you well after the operation and it is all covered by the monthly insurance we pay. What could possibly go wrong?

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The Snail

Have you ever eaten snails? Well after my tour of inspection through the garden yesterday I thought I could start collecting them. We often get snails of all sorts in the garden. They are usually smallish and usually resemble something like this little group

Nothing that looks edible, I think they are known as the white banded snail. We get them all through the summer in our garden, but don't really seem to do any damage. It's the ones without houses known as slugs that really eat anything that is green and goes by the name of leaf. They are the ones I usually throw into the neighbour's garden or onto the field. No I do not pour salt over them, or drown them in beer, They have enough problems in their sluggish little life, although I suppose their mothers love them.

In the German language there is really only one word for snail "Schnecke" whether they have a house or not. They are just defined as snails with houses and snails without houses. So back to the object of this small snail monologue. I went on my usual evening inspection of the garden yesterday, examining the population sizes of ants, greenfly and yes snails and then I stopped in my tracks. I saw the snail of the year. I was so impressed that I took at least 10 photos and found the following one to be the best. I then decided to make him the centerpiece of my observation by taking all the colour out of the photo except for a couple of green leaves and giving him a frame.

I think this is a so called edible snail, known as escargot by the French and the "Weinbergschnecke" in the German language. I had only seen them up to now on a plate ready to be eaten sitting in a lake of melted herb butter. I had never actually seen one as close as this and believe me they are big, speaking in snail sizes. I do not know how he found his way into the garden. I of course took him inside the house to show my husband, who said yes it was a Weinbergschnecke and continued watching the television programme he was watching. I replaced him where I found him and hope that I had saved his life and that he would not arrive at a gala dinner. I have eaten snails but a few years ago and I did not find them any different to eating a winkle.

A winkle is the same sort of thing, but a water snail living in the sea. My mum would buy them on Sunday from the fish stall down the lane and put them on the plate in their shells. We were all give a safety pin and with a curling motion removed them from the shells at ate them. Things were not so dignified in the East End perhaps, but it was the normal way to do it.

So as grand finale here is my edible "Weinberg" snail as I found him in the garden.

Unwanted Visitors in the Garden

This is not an essay on the life of snails and how they develop. This is based on my own experiences made in my garden. For detailed biological details I am sure there is enough on Google to satisfy the inquisitive.

Now this little man/women in the photo (they are both) I photographed at the beginning of a rainy week-end in the garden. Up to then we had fantastic pre Summer weather and not a slug in sight. Who knows where they were, but I just read that when they lay their eggs the eggs can remain a couple of years in the ground until they decide to hatch. I was not very happy at seeing this slimy creature, as where there is one, there are usually a couple of hundred more dispersed around the garden.

I decided to take action and found a half full packet of snail corns left from last year which I distributed in strategic places in the garden. I am really an animal lover and I know that each insect has a purpose in his insect life, but I am not to keen when the slugs find the purpose being to bring his knife and fork with him for a layed table during the night. They are especially keen on marigolds and lupins of which I have both in the garden. Although I think they seem to be keen on anything that has a green leaf.

The tragic end came the next morning when my garden was full of slugs which had had their last meal on a snail corn. Readers, do not despair, the next day there were another few hundred ready to eat what was left on the plants. At the moment I seem to be winning the fight. Not even do my cats help me as they do not like having sticky paws. By the way I found that slugs like most of all the dried food pellets that my cats eat. A lesson to be learnt - if you have outdoor cats do not leave a bowl of cat pellets out for them to eat as the snails will get them first.

Not all snails are enemies of the gardener. I took the following photos last week when it was still quite warm and dry.

These snails bring their own house with them and are quite harmless for the gardener. They feed on plants that we would not consider being worth having in the garden. To a certain extent they are quite useful. In this case let the snails with the shells live. I found this sort is known as the Banded White Lip Snail. It is the only kind I have found in my garden with a house up to now. They seem to be content to sit on my blackberry stalks and watched the insect world go by.

And with a photo of a snail group I will come to an end.