WordPress Daily Prompt: Just a Dream 2

You’re having a nightmare, and have to choose between three doors. Pick one, and tell us about what you find on the other side.

There are doors and doors. Some doors are square, some rectangular and some open into a dark dismal path of no return. You can dream of these doors, knowing that when you open one there might be a monster behind it. There was a dream once with a tangly wiggly frumerous dankly of cubletigated frigerous chumbles. Yes, behind the door a Jabberwock was lurking, spoiling the drudgerous thoughts of an innocent sleeping victim. I called upon the bandersnatch who killed the jabberwock with one swipe of its fladdly blade. With what? Yes reader and fellow bloggers, there was no vorpal sword to help. The slithy toves were using it to open the next door. And so I progressed to the next door.

The handle was slippery, as if a slimy hand had tried to open the door. I looked and found it was my hand and remembered I should not eat jello before trying to open doors in dreams. It could become very complicated. A hand gave me a damp cloth to wipe off the slime from my hands and the door handle. A hand? I took a closer look as this hand was very cold and sharp. It was a bony hand, with two fingers missing. Where was I, I did not like this dream, but now I could turn the slimy door handle. There was a shriek, a hollow laugh, and something moved across the hairs on my head. I shivered, it was a friendly spider. He was friendly because he moved on and did not stay. There was a distant rumble, a severed head tumbled to the ground on the rails. I found myself in the ghost train of the international union of ghost drivers.

“Hello” said a voice “would you like to go for a ride? I can only sell you a one way ticket, but it is the best way to go, illuminated by the fires of hell and the cauldron of unknown destinations. You will love it.”

“Huh, I am not sure.”

“You are not sure, you have to be sure. It is not everyone that can take this eternal ride. The last human that joined us is still travelling, he loves it, especially the downhill run.”

“It goes down?”

“Yes it goes up and down, we have to keep it interesting otherwise people would not join us. We are only charging two souls today, special price, two for one.”

“Two for one what?”

“Do not ask, the seat is still warm, I just have to clean it first of all. Blood stains are not a good encouragement for our guests.”

“I think I made a mistake. Sorry to bother you, where is the door out?”

“We don’t do doors out usually, but you can try this one” and he pointed to a trapdoor between the rails. “You must be quick, the next train is coming down the track soon.”

I decided to grab the chance when I could and pulled the ring in the door. This was not such a good idea, it was the third door and I felt myself falling into an endless space. This time there was no return, it was the third door, and according to the dreamland special from WordPress it was my last choice. With a squelch I landed on a table. My WordPress t-shirt was ruined, covered in brown stains. At least it was not blood. I took a taste and found it to be chocolate flavoured. I had an omen of something evil, a recurring nightmare that had been following me for some time.

I hear metallic peals of laughter, I saw reflections in the dark. This was the end of a horror trip. Gleaming pairs of artificial eyes were staring, and there was a murmur which was becoming louder. Voices were calling in unison

“We love chocolate cake, we love chocolate cake, we love Angloswiss chocolate cake.”

I realised this door lead to the infinite torture. Someone put the lights on and they stared in my direction: it was the Wordy den, the place that no-one goes in their right mind. I left and returned to the ghost train, but the driver was holding his bony hand out for a soul. In the meanwhile I could not remember where I had put my soul, and so I took shelter in Jabberwocky, but it was brillig and I was pelted with momraths and jujub tree fruit. Then I awoke.

I was back to the present day, still trying to think what I should write for a repeat prompt I once wrote on 20th December 2012 where I was being chased by a slimy fish

Do you ever have a déjà vue with these prompts?

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WordPress Daily Prompt: Circle of five

A writer once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If this is true, which five people would you like to spend your time with?

I have a new friend. His name is crow. Now and again he sits in the garden. I think he is trying to tell me something like “just because I happen to be photo No. 5 in your vast selection, it does not mean that I have to take part in this silly stupid prompt”. I always heard that crows were very intelligent and have a perception that carries into untold realms.  Now that was a good sentence, must remember that for my book when I write it. 

“Ok crow, you can go now, no I will not write about you, I have to write about the five people I would like to spend my time with.” 

I know I did it before in December 2012 and it is astonishing to find that the five living people are still alive and the dead ones are still dead. No-one returned from that place they moved onto and Mr. Swiss and Tabby are still here. 

So now we have to find five new people if we are doing this prompt again, which I am. Do not ask me why, I am probably too stupid and dumb to find something else, and on top too lazy. Here we are altogether, I, me and myself, which makes three. Mr. Swiss who is now doing something on his computer - a daily prompt? No, I do not think so. He is mentally preparing himself for an errand. I need tea, two sorts, english breakfast tea and Lady Grey tea and the tin is down to the last three tea bags. He has ridden down his computer, is now putting on his winter jacket, his Andy Capp and will be departing with our faithful car to places only known to him and me: the local co-op supermarket in town and the doctors. Our tablet supplies are also down to a minimum. We both take the same ones for cholesterol control and he will pick up a fresh supply.

So now I, me and myself are alone, he just said “Ciao”, but I still have my Apple Computer as company (No. 5) and that’s that. Now I hear a knock on the door. I really have no room for No. 6, it does not stand in the WordPress about six in the inner circle. Oh, no, not that.

“Hello Mrs. Angloswiss, any chocolate cake.”

“No. Wordy, you are being very cheeky, I am your customer, not your chocolate cake supplier and what are you doing here?”

“Well, it seemed you were having problems with your inner circle, so they sent me to complete the group.”

“Well it just so seems that my circle of five is now complete, so you can go again. No Wordy, I am not giving you a slice of chocolate cake wrapped in aluminium foil to take with you.”

“Well the powers that assembled me thought I could help you out. You have counted yourself as three and you are only one. Mr. Swiss is OK, you can keep him, but a computer is not allowed. That is a thing and not a person. I would be a person.”

“No, Wordy, you are no more a person than my computer. You were assembled somewhere in a factory and if I would hit you on the head with my computer, which is a thing, you would need a new head which would be very easy to replace in your Do-It-Yourself centre somewhere in Silicon Valley. Just a few screws and metal hinges and a couple of glass eyes would do the trick. I believe brain parts do not exist.”

“Mrs. Angloswiss I only wanted to help. Of course I have a brain, the best technology available and my eyes are an advanced form of modern developments in the synthetic department.”

“Sorry Wordy but no, you will not be No. 5 in my inner circle, I prefer my computer, it works all the time and does what I tell it. You may go. No, wait a minute. Tell the higher level of intelligence where you were fabricated that I am sick and tired of these warmed up prompts and you are definitely not one of the five people (or things) that I want to spend time with. I would be happier with my crow in the garden. At least he doesn’t hover around for chocolate cake, he just collects some lost souls for the local cemetery. 

Crow come here, I have a customer for you.”

Now where has Wordy gone. He seems to have disappeared and left his little aluminium foil parcel with chocolate cake. I wonder what scared him?

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WordPress Daily Prompt: A Plot of Earth

You’re given a plot of land and have the financial resources to do what you please. What’s the plan?

“That will do today, what do you reckon Fred?”

“OK, now she can do with it what she likes.”

“Excuse me, excuse me, what do you think you are doing. Who told you to load that pile of earth onto my garden. My roses are buried and the apple tree is completely swamped.”

“Well, it wasn’t us Miss, that little guy over there with the mechanical arms and eyes on stalks told us to put it there, courtesy of his company.”

“Who, ah him. Yes OK, WORDY”

“Mrs. Angloswiss not so loud, I have sonic hearing since my last make over.”

“I don’t care if you have x-ray eyes, just tell me what that pile of dirt is doing covering my lovely lawn and flower beds.”

“It’s all yours Mrs. Angloswiss with courtesy of my company. You can do what you like with it, cost what it may. It is a plot of earth, not dirt.”

“Then tell the men that brought it here in that large truck they should shovel it all together and remove it.”

“That is not in the clause Mrs. Angloswiss. It’s all yours to keep. The contract does not cover removal.”

“I don’t want it.”

“But think what you can do with it and look, it is very fertile earth.”

“Yes Wordy, I can see the worms squiggling already. They can’t wait to build a few tunnels. By the way did you know you have to get planning permission in Switzerland to build anything. If the garden exceeds the boundaries, I have to have it removed.”

“But we built it high and not wide. You can plant an extension to your garden, cover it with snow in winter and make a ski slope out of it. In Summer it would be ideal for practicing mountain climbing.”

“Wordy, I do not ski and do not climb mountains.”

“Oh, and I thought you would be so proud of me and happy. I put your name on the top of the blogger’s list of plots of earth. All the other bloggers are writing about the house they will build or the MacDonalds restaurant they will install on the property.”

“Wordy, not here, we need planning permission.”

“OK, I even told the men to put a nice plant on the top. I know you love plants Mrs. Angloswiss.”

“I do Wordy, very much, but now you have buried them all and probably killed them. I have an idea. While the men are still here, perhaps they would organise that nice plot of earth to my design.”

“Of course, Mrs. Angloswiss, always at your command. What would you like them to do?”

I would suggest spreading the plot of earth to the edges first of all. Then the could begin to dig in the middle. Let’s see, stay still Wordy.”

“What are you doing with the tape measure Mrs. Angloswiss?”

“Just measureing Wordy, just measuring. I would say you are not more than a meter tall, if we don’t count the antenna wires that are sticking out of your head. We could bend them like this.”

“Ouch, that hurt.”

“But it looks much better. So what is your chest size, very slim I would say, yes that should do it. Ok guys come here.”

“You want some more earth?”

“No not at all. Could you perhaps employ that power shovel you have to dig a hole about 1.20 Meters long and perhaps 75 cm wide and very deep.”

“No problem, Joe, she wants a hole in the ground.”

“And perhaps you could put that piece of metal in the hole and cover it with the pile of earth left.”

“But Mrs. Angloswiss, I am not a pice of metal, I am Wordy glub, glub, glub.”

“Is that OK Madam.”

“Just fine, thank you and here is a tip for both of you. Now I should phone the undertaker and order a nice stone perhaps in pink to be inscribed “Here lies Wordy, He was a good blogging tool, but he overdid it.”

“Glub ,glub, glub”

“Quiet  Wordy, I will dig you out in time for the next prompt.”

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WordPress Daily Prompt: Wall to Wall 2

What do you display on the walls of your home — photos, posters, artwork, nothing? How do you choose what to display? What mood are you trying to create?

“Hello Mrs. Angloswiss, long time no see.”

“Hello Wordy, yes, I thought you were having a revision.”

“Yes, look I have new eyes, a new noise and they said I have a new brain, but I cannot remember the old brain. I think they took my memory away.”

“Wordy your new eyes are wandering, are you looking for something.”

“I was just wondering whether you made one of your wonderful tasty chocolate cakes. They renewed my sense of taste and I am sure it will melt in my mouth.”

“No problem Wordy, I have it in the cupboard, help yourself.”

“Oh”

“Something wrong Wordy.”

“Mum thum choral plop ach.”

“I didn’t understand?”

“Your cake, it stuck to my new sensor teeth and clogged my voice mechanism. Actually if I may say so, your cake is not as fresh as it used to be.”

“It might be, I baked it a two months ago.”

“Two months ago! But Mrs. Angloswiss, two month old cakes are dry, tasteless and just horrible, if I may say so.”

“You may say so Wordy, But you know what. two year old prompts that I wrote on 28th April 2013 are also stale, tasteless and just ach, if you know what I mean. ”

“Let’s change the subject Mrs. Angloswiss. Do you have a glass of water to wash your cake down. Some crumbs are adhering to my new A1 plastic teeth. No problem Wordy. The water is fresh. Oh remember my last Original Wall to Wall Blog showing original paintings from Mr. Swiss, I still have them on the walls.

“So let us get on with today’s prompt, do you have something new.”

“I always have to have something new, not like some people I know. Look Wordy, something for my wall. 

“What’s that Mrs. Swiss?”

“It’s the photo of a cabbage I took this morning before I made a pot au feu with various vegetables and a nice piece of beef. I thought it would be ideal to hang on the wall. I have entitled it “The Beautiful Cabbage”.

“Oh, I see. Isn’t it rather strange having a cabbage on the wall, although I must say it is a nice cabbage. Did it taste OK?”

“It was very good Wordy, mixed with the leeks, carrots, celery and beef. I even put it in a green frame to bring out the life of the cabbage.”

“Do cabbages live Mrs. Angloswiss?”

“Of course they do Wordy, otherwise they would not be able to grow. They die when I cook them and eat them. They are then recycled: imagine just like your old prompt.”

“But my prompts live as well.”

“Yes, they do for a certain time, perhaps one or two days, until all the eager bloggers have written their piece. Then the prompts die, are buried somewhere in the vaults in Silicon Valley until they are given the breath of life by you.”

“I don’t have breath Mrs. Angloswiss, I have a ventilator to keep me cool.”

“Yes, Wordy, I know. That is the problem. Perhaps it might be an idea to get your creators to give you a chip in your ventilator, one that says “new daily prompts for bloggers”, just to breathe some fresh air into the prompts.”

“You mean like your new picture of the cabbage. I have never eaten cabbage Mrs. Angloswiss, any left?”

“Of course Wordy, I have a dish of pot au feu left and it is from today’s lunch. Fresh and new.”

“Smells good. Oh yes, I like that it really oils my insides well. You cannot beat a freshly cooked lunch. Chocolate cake also tastes good when it comes fresh from the oven.”

“Exactly Wordy, exactly.”

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WordPress Daily Prompt: A Moment in Time

What was the last picture you took? Tell us the story behind it. (No story behind the photo? Make one up, or choose the last picture you took that had one.)

Not a story behind the photo? Of course there is a story behind the photo, my life is one big story. Unfortunately I have not yet met the famous author or movie producer to do the necessary to make me famous. I noticed at a quick glance we have 0 responses for this prompt. Did someone forget to press the magic switch, did Wordy have a little too much of the hard stuff with lunch? Perhaps it is just one of those days where things go wrong all the time. I might be the first with something to say which is a general state of affairs with me. By the time I finish this epic piece of literature others may have beat me to it. Now to the subject of this post.

It is not an easy task and I am a little overstrained with this. Actually it was my blogging friend Marilyn that was guilty of me taking this photo. She is a cyber golden oldie, and if Bill Gates had not been there first, she would now be running all the Windows stuff probably. At the moment she has router problems: don’t we all from time to time. I often lose my way on the roads due to new road signs, although I believe her router is more in the online sense of the word.

I decided yesterday evening to take a quick photo of the external digestive system of our computer. Marilyn got me thinking, where is our router, where is our modem, where is anything like that. I only play with my keyboard and laptop, the rest is a Mr. Swiss department. It all has a nest on a glass table next to his operational centre. Now and again I might lose a connection, which is not so bad. It tends to be a habit with me. Mr. Swiss shakes his head and carries on regardless. If I say no more, it means Apple has found the connection again and I am making a fuss about nothing. If this state of affairs becomes permanent and he also loses the connection, then we have a lost modem wandering around in the Angloswiss cyber world. No problem, he presses a button somewhere and everything is working again. It does not happen often, but now and again it might. I think they make these things just to see if we know what we are doing.

I definitely do not know what  I am doing, but Mr. Swiss does. He showed me once where the magical button is, but I forgot. I am diverging from the subject matter. Now I have a photo showing where everything is. I had to ask for directions from Mr. Swiss as all I can see is a white box, a nice designer black box standing up and a few leads and flat boxes.

Apparently we have two modems combined with routers, or did I get that wrong? Anyhow the nice designer black object standing up in the back right corner is a modem it seems and the big white flat square thing is also a modem combined with router. I think the black designer model also has a router combined, but am not sure. It is all so complicated.

We have some other technical stuff with wires leading out of it. There is a DVD burner. I think that is the square black thing at the front in the corner. There is a little square thing in front of the nice black modem which is a blue tooth loudspeaker. The teeth seem to be hidden inside, I suppose I could feed it now and again but I do not know what blue teeth like to chew on. There are two hard disks in the middle at the front laying on top of each other and on the left almost out of the picture there are lots of cables attached to something that might be the heart and lungs of the whole thing, but don’t ask me, it is a man thing. There is also an iPhone somewhere in the middle. It is always a good thing to have a few iPhones laying around, you never know, you might lose one.

So there we have the latest and newest photo in my collection. I notice we still have 0 Responses.

“Wordy!”

“Yes Mrs. Angloswiss.”

“What is going on in Silicon Valley, the grid has again collapsed.”

“Oh, I will have a look. I am sure it will be working by this evening. There is probably an update on the system, or perhaps we are having some new software fitted. I will have a look after I have finished my chocolate cake.”

“Wordy, put that cake down. We have an urgent situation. Thousands of daily prompt writers have their fingers poised on the upload button and there is nowhere to upload it.”

“You can always try the Reader Mrs. Angloswiss.”

“I could also hold you prisoner in the snow out in the garden holding you to ransom for an efficient grid system that works.”

“But my circuits would freeze and I would become brittle.”

“You think I care, get it working Wordy.”

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The Daily Prompt that never was

Write about anything, because there is nothing to write about.

I discovered that if there is nothing recommended to write about in the daily prompt, it will still appear in the Reader as a daily prompt if you apply the necessary tags, like “daily prompt”. If there is really no daily prompt, then do not despair. I nearly did. I was reading my book of the moment comfortable in a chair. Mr. Swiss was sitting in a chair next to me reading his book of the moment and he realised something was missing.

“Don’t you have anything to write about?”

“No”

“Are you sure” and so to make him happy I decided to write. 

What can I write about? As you can see from the photo we are very computer friendly. I discovered this subject for the photo in the Mr. Swiss computer enclave. He is very clever. He can operate two computers at the same time. I was astonished.

Today Mr. Swiss and I paid a visit to the doc. We both needed a routine test. Mine was a long term sugar test. I only had to donate a few tubes of blood for an examination. The junior vampire was waiting for me in anticipation of the supply of fresh blood. She only took a few tubes full. I was lucky that she did not empty my arm.  I am supposed to have this test done every three months, but as it is now six months I decided it was time to go.

Mr. Swiss was parking the car and appeared just as she was finishing with her vampire bites on my arm,  so I left him to it and he survived. Luckily we both had a supply of garlic with us to keep the blood loss to a minimum. Yes, it was a vampires happy day today. We now have a joint appointment to discuss the results next week. Isn’t it lovely when you can do things together.

Today the Swiss government decided no longer to support the Euro (€) currency. Something about if it falls to CHF 1.20 per Euro. I received one of those messages that make “ping” on my iPad. I thought big deal, but asked Mr. Swiss. He told me that it was not a good day for the Swiss economy, especially those who invest in shares and export their products. I breathed a sigh of relief as I have no shares, but I still do not understand the big fuss. I have never seen an Euro, but it seems the Swiss banks have millions of them, a hasty cash transfer, and now they regret it. We held five minutes silence during lunch as the Swiss news was telling us all about it. 

Promptless days can be really boring. You have no meaning in your daily life, something is missing. The computer stares at you with a blank screen saying “press the switch, tune in and write something”. I see only a grid full of prompts that I have visited and fulfilled. What a boring life. 

“Wordy hello, I thought you had deserted me.”

“Hello Mrs. Angloswiss. No today we have a day of rest, in memory of all the daily prompts that did not make it into the grid. Today one slipped away. We are still searching for it.”

“Telll me all about it Wordy, what was it all about?”

“That is the problem Mrs. Angloswiss. It disappeared and said nothing and it was one of my prompts. I cannot remember what it was about, but it would have bee a sensation had it survived. Any chocolate cake Mrs. Angloswiss?

“Wordy you are changing the subject.”

“No, just a minute I remember. Tell us about Mrs. Angloswiss chocolate cake or any other cake she makes with a random word from Google or the 105th image from Google. Write your prompt in Latin or Romansh”

“Thankyou Wordy for your helpful assistance. You are dropping crumbs of chocolate cake on the floor.”

WordPress Daily Prompt: The Mirror Crack'd

You wake up one morning to a world without mirrors. How does your life — from your everyday routines to your perception of yourself — change?




“He’s here again.”

“Who?” Mr. Swiss answered the door. It was Sunday, I had a feeling who it was. He always rings twice and arrives on a Sunday. I think Saturday is WordPress t-shirt washing day. I opened the door.

“Hello Wordy, come in and have a coffee. What are you going to do today?”

“Thanks Mrs. Angloswiss, two sugars and no milk, please.”

“Just a minute Wordy, where are you going with that ladder?”

“Orders Mrs. Angloswiss for the daily prompt. I have to remove your mirrors. How many do you have?”

“I have one in the entrance hall and in the bathroom and shower. Wait a minute Wordy. What did you say? Where are you going with that mirror. Put it down at once.”

“Today’s daily prompt Mrs. Angloswiss. You have a world without mirrors and how do you live.”

I like to comb my hair in the bathroom, I check to see if my clothes are fitting when I leave the apartment. At my age you never know if you are wearing your blouse inside out. These things can happen. So I need my mirrors.”

Mr. Swiss arrived on the scene.

“What’s that guy with the WordPress t-shirt doing in the bathroom. He is removing the mirrored doors from the cupboard and making a mess all over the bathroom floor. How am I supposed to shave and trim my beard if I don’t have a mirror.”

Suddenly there were shouts and almost screams coming from the bathroom. I had a look.”

“Mr. Swiss what are you doing. Put that guy in the t-shirt down, he is already going red in the face. You are strangling Wordy.”

“I don’t care, I would like to see Wordy shave without a mirror.”

Wordy was now leaning on the wall taking deep breathes and loosening the neck of his t-shirt.

“Mr. Swiss I put a new clean t-shirt on today and now I have blood stains on it and a tear. I will lose my job if I go back like this and I don’t have to shave. We WordPress elves don’t have whiskers.”

“And if you take my mirror away you will lose more, so take your hands off my mirror.”

“But…..”

I decided to intervene before someone was killed and it would not be Mr. Swiss.

“Wordy go home. We want to keep our mirrors.”

“Waaa, nobody loves me.”

“Don’t cry Wordy, of course we love you, you are only doing your job, but sometimes we Wordpress bloggers do not like people interfering with our private lives. Now drink your coffee and here is a piece of chocolate cake to go with it and make sure you do not get chocolate stains on your nice clean white t-shirt.”

“Oh, thank you Mrs. Angloswiss” he said as he licked the chocolate filling off his fingers and brushed the crumbs of his t-shirt. There must have been some sort of mix-up. The WordPress chief guy said you don’t need mirrors. He often saw you fly out of the window on full moon nights and said vampires don’t have reflections.”

“Oh, did he. Well tell that WordPress chief guy that I do have a reflection usually. It only happens on full moon nights, and I might pay the WordPress chief guy a visit on one of those nights to see what he has to offer. I prefer group A, but O will do as well.”

“Shall I tell him that Mrs. Angloswiss.”

“No don’t bother, I like to surprise people.”

So Wordy attached the mirror doors to the cabinet in the bathroom and tidied everything up. He put his ladder under his arm and left. We waved to him from the window. He waved back and said “Bye Mrs. Angloswiss, see you again on another prompt.”

I did not give an answer. I just checked to see how I looked in the mirror.


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