If one of your late ancestors were to come back from the dead and join you for dinner, what things about your family would this person find the most shocking?
“Dinner is ready, but wait a moment who are you.”
“We are today’s WordPress contribution to dinner. Don’t you recognise us, it’s your great grandmother Emily and great grandfather Jason.”
“But I never even met you, you died at the beginning of the 20th century. Dead people do not eat.”
“Yes, that’s the problem, we don’t get food where we are now, don’t need it, but for a day our digestive system has been renewed. We are hungry. By the way we hope you don’t mind but there will be a few others arriving.”
“Huh, but I only cooked for me, Mr. Swiss and my son, although I probably have enough for you both. Who else is coming?”
“Oh, just the family. We were so closely knit in those days.”
“Did you invite all your children Emily?”
“Yes, they should be arriving any time now. We couldn’t impose on you too much and judging by the size of this place, they wouldn’t have room.”
“But great grandma Emily, you had 16 children.”
“Oh yes, they believed in big families in those days. Of course the twins died when they were still babies, so just a bottle of warm milk will do for them and perhaps some sort of soft food. They never got all their teeth. Here they are.”
“Yes, I can see that, all of the sons and two daughters, my grandmother and a baby daughter..”
“Is that dinner?”
“I was just preparing it, afraid it is just cooked beef with vegetables today.”
“No problem. All local produce of course. A cow from the farmer and the vegetables from your garden?
“Not exactly grandfather Jason, we buy it all in the supermarket.”
“In what?”
“Supermarket. It’s like a big shop where everything is on shelves and you can choose what you need. All nicely packed and hygenic. I don’t know where the cow originated, but it is probably a cow from our country. The vegetables are also from our area.”
“Just a moment, you mean you did not know the cow before it arrived in your cooking pot and the vegetables did not come from your garden.”
“No great grandmother, things are not done like that today.”
“Well I don’t know. What do you think Jason, is that food safe?”
“Let’s ask the others. They have just arrived.”
“Hello Emily, Jason, we arrived, although the guy that was organising the journey said we would have to share wings, so it was an cramped flight. Any nappies for the twins here great niece, they didn’t need them where we were residing.”
“Just a moment I will have a look. Yes I have a few disposable nappies in a plastic bag.”
“But that is paper.”
“They are special, you can throw them away after they have been used.”
“You throw away the babies as well.”
“No, just the nappies.”
“Strange customs. So let’s eat.”
“I will have to stretch the food a little as we are so many.”
“No problem, where we come from they fed a few thousand with a couple of fish and a few slices of bread.”
“You mean that the story was true.”
“What story is she talking about Jason?”
“No idea. That cow is a bit tough, not like our Betsy. She was a lovely tender piece of meat.”
“So Jason, no good talking about the old times, they do things differently today.”
“Well thanks for the meal, it wasn’t too bad just didn’t have the good old rich flavours that we had down in the country.”
“I have some mango ice cream as a desert. Hello, they have all gone. Perhaps they don’t like mangos or didn’t grow it on the farm. Things were done differently in the Sussex countryside I suppose.”
I suppose the only thing that might raise an eyebrow if any of my long-dead relatives came back for a day would be that I've never had any children. A modern choice that might not be understood by earlier generations.
ReplyDeleteI don't think they had a big alternative in the last century. All my granparents seemed to have at least 6-7 brothers and sisters, many not surviving childhood. Jason and Emily were very productive, but so were their parents as well - seemed to run in the family
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