Tuesday, 7 April 2015

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: The Problem with Mowey

You get some incredibly, amazingly, wonderfully fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?

Mowy's first walk

This is such a stupid, ridiculous prompt that I think I will go back to bed and dream on. 

Our automatic lawn mower refused to do the half hour walk on his own after the great switch on a couple of weeks ago. It was not an easy job to connect Mowey to the power, but Mr. Swiss did it. Mowey took a walk around the garden and everyone was happy. The problem was that Mowey did not want to stop. He would have probably mowed through the remainder of the day and through the night until his strength gave out. The idea is that he mows for half an hour as programmed and then returns to is home town to recharge for the next outing. All possibilities were examined

In the meanwhile the gardener had prepared our super lawn for the coming year with all sorts of sharp instruments. For a moment fear overcame us that the gardener had chopped a vital artery leading to the juice supply of Mowey’s body which is hidden in the ground, deep down. Who knows what dire monsters are attacking Mowey’s source of energy, his life. We remained cool and calm, shedding a few profanities over his behaviour, He is only a machine and machines are programmed by humans generally. 

After sending Mowey on a lawn trimming expedition for three days we noticed that Mowey was mowing in the same places. Our lawn looked more like a punkers hair cut than a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious trim. A Beatles cut would have been better. It was decided that the expert should see what ailment had infected our Mowey. Was he suffering from Spring fatigue? Did one of the neighbours sabotage his internal organs in a fit of jealousy because we were the only family with a Mowey slave in the area? All things are possible.

We called for the expert, at least we wanted to call the expert but his telephone was not answering. Was this an international conspiracy, putting all Moweys out of action worldwide (except for desert regions)? Undaunted we called the commando central of Mowey Ltd. They took a message that our lawn was suffering from overgrowth and Mowey was incapacitated, sick, having visions of an unconquerable jungle laying at his tiny cutting blades. Eventually the Mowey expert returned the call and reassured us that he would be on his way the next day. Unfortunately the next day we had a deluge, rumours of a monsoon season were spread in the news and an elderly grey haired man with long beard began to build a rather strange ship in the area known as Ark. It seemed that his family were helping - they called him Noah. At the same time he was collecting pairs of animals. It was when he knocked at our door and asked if my felines Tabby and Fluffy had any important appointments in the next 40 days and nights (am I confusing the story?) I put my foot down and it stopped raining. Noah packed his tools together and moved off leaving pairs of cows, foxes and hedgehogs in the back yard.

To return to Mowey, he was frustrated. He wanted to do the job but could not and we had postponed the visit of the Mowey specialist due to bad weather.

Tempo Fugit as they say, the lawn was growing and our garden ornaments were disappearing in the wilderness. When my felines took a walk in the grass, we had to search for them in the evening as they could not find the return path. Today the Mowey expert returned. Noticed immediately that two cables were invertedly placed. He switched them over, programmed Mowey to do half an hour daily and it worked. Mowey even found his way back home. He is now a happy Mowey, the lawn is happy and so is Mrs. Angloswiss and Mr. Swiss. Today Mowey completed his first successful journey around the lawn. Our lawn now resembles the one in Forest Hills, USA where they play tennis. 


  1. Glad you got is sorted out. Does Mowey have to be emptied or do you have to rake the lawn after he's finished?

    1. As he mows daily, there is only a sprinkling of cuttings. They fall back into the lawn and serve as fertiliser for the lawn

  2. At least he hasn't started talking yet!! Or has he??

    1. If he did and copied us, his language might be sprinkled with a few profanities when he doesn't do what he should.