1. Bastet did not exist, he was just a story
made up by the Egyptians.
2. Felines were never worshipped as Gods, the
statues just looked good for the history books.
3. That feline is not your sister. It was just
a coincidence she was born with you in the same litter. She had a different
father because mummy was feeling randy.
4. Spraying in the garden might impress other
felines, but it does not impress the humans that you own.
5. You do not really own the humans, that
adopted you but they let you think you are in charge.
6. Humans are not there for the sole purposes
of keeping your tray clean.
7. Kneading on your human with protruded claws
pulls threads in their pullover.
8. Vitamin filled pellets are healthier than
tinned tuna fish.
9. Jersey sheets are not suitable for
sharpening claws, they have to be thrown away when they have holes.
10. The toilet is not an extra supply of
vintage water.
11. Dogs are equal to felines, they just think
differently.
12. Humans like to know when felines are planning
to return from a walk. They worry.
13. Resting on a snail should be avoided. They stick
to the fur.
14. You know when your human loves you if they
let you sleep on their bed, but you will sleep on their bed if you want to in
any case.
15. If your human gives a command, it is not to
be ignored or forgotten and above all just do not think about it and report
back after a few hours.
16. Sleeping on clean washing is not hygienic for
human use, but probably the ideal sleeping place for a feline.
17. It is not the idea to sleep for 23 hours
and spend the remaining hour looking for a place to sleep.
18. The table leg is not a scratching post.
19. If you have a hairball moment, spend it on
a washable surface and not a carpet.
20. If you have to take medicine, then it is
good for you. Do not spit it out or hiss and try to amputate the human finger
with your teeth in the process.
21. Every bite on a human is rewarded by a
visit to the doctor for a tetanus jab.
Somehow I feel the felines will totally ignore these things!!
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