Tuesday, 27 May 2014

WordPress Weekly Writing Challenge: List Lesson

Things that your felines should know


1. Bastet did not exist, he was just a story made up by the Egyptians.

2. Felines were never worshipped as Gods, the statues just looked good for the history books.

3. That feline is not your sister. It was just a coincidence she was born with you in the same litter. She had a different father because mummy was feeling randy.

4. Spraying in the garden might impress other felines, but it does not impress the humans that you own.

5. You do not really own the humans, that adopted you but they let you think you are in charge.

6. Humans are not there for the sole purposes of keeping your tray clean.

7. Kneading on your human with protruded claws pulls threads in their pullover.

8. Vitamin filled pellets are healthier than tinned tuna fish.

9. Jersey sheets are not suitable for sharpening claws, they have to be thrown away when they have holes.

10. The toilet is not an extra supply of vintage water.

11. Dogs are equal to felines, they just think differently.

12. Humans like to know when felines are planning to return from a walk. They worry.

13. Resting on a snail should be avoided. They stick to the fur.

14. You know when your human loves you if they let you sleep on their bed, but you will sleep on their bed if you want to in any case.

15. If your human gives a command, it is not to be ignored or forgotten and above all just do not think about it and report back after a few hours.

16. Sleeping on clean washing is not hygienic for human use, but probably the ideal sleeping place for a feline.

17. It is not the idea to sleep for 23 hours and spend the remaining hour looking for a place to sleep.

18. The table leg is not a scratching post.

19. If you have a hairball moment, spend it on a washable surface and not a carpet.

20. If you have to take medicine, then it is good for you. Do not spit it out or hiss and try to amputate the human finger with your teeth in the process.

21. Every bite on a human is rewarded by a visit to the doctor for a tetanus jab.

Click here for more

1 comment:

  1. Somehow I feel the felines will totally ignore these things!!