Sunday, 22 September 2013

WordPress Daily Prompt: Practice Makes Perfect?

Tell us about a talent you’d love to have… but don’t. 

Photographers, artists, poets: show us TALENT.


If Fluffy could actually play the piano, instead of just sitting there thinking about it, I could probably make a fortune, but felines do not play the piano, although they can sing, especially when they want something.

Yes, I can play the piano. After twelve years of lessons at school, I read music and play the sonatas and other classic pieces that I was told to learn and play, but this is not what I wanted. I happened to meet Mr. Swiss who is a jazzer, although his instrument is drums. Through Mr. Swiss I met a lot of other jazzers. Now jazzers can read music, but they play what they feel, what they hear. For example, Erroll Garner, an accomplished jazz piano player, played by ear. He could not read music notes, he played what he felt. Going back into history, Fats Waller, a jazzer of the thirties, played like a God. At the age of sixteen he was playing his feelings on the piano. He had a musical background, was a super “stride” pianist, but his music was his own.

And me, well after my twelve years of practicing scales, learning to play some pieces by memory, I just did not have the feeling. The only jazz pieces I manage are those where I have the music notes. Nothing from the heart or the feelings, just plonk, plonk, plonk, according to what is written in the note sheets. I am quite good at reading notes, although not exactly a born Scott Joplin. I am still struggling through his original notes to Maple Leaf Rag, or The Entertainer. Although I have quite a large finger span I think those professional composers must have had elastic bones to reach the span of notes they wrote. So I just sit at the piano and hammer out the notes from the music. I am quite good at the Mozart Sonatas, I can play The Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven and even a few Two Part Inventions by Bach (the original Jazz musician to my taste), but luckily I have an electric piano with ear phones to spare the nerves of those listening.

As far as singing to the music is concerned, I am sure I can. I know most of the words and probably a super soloist has not yet been recognised. The problem is that the song to suit my voice has not yet been written. My family just do not appreciate a good voice; they complain that I am out of tune. I am convinced they must have something wrong with their tone recognition. Not only do I resemble Barbara Streisland, but I am sure I have a similar voice. Mr. Swiss disagrees (with the voice part) and so my record contract has not yet been signed (or even set up). My imitation of Mick Jagger gives no satisfaction, although I do know the words of Jumping Jack Flash.

On the other hand if all these wonderful music talents I possess were recognised, my life would have taken another turn.

My multi-tasking talents have never been recognised. I can iron the bed linen perfectly, in five minutes for one duvet, not to mention the perfect shirts I have produced during my married life, with the creases mostly in the right places. Can you iron trousers? Are you able to make your own clothes? You see I can do it, more by having to than wanting to. The first years of my married life were accompanied by four children, two mine and two an accompaniment to the marriage, so I just got on with it. I do not know whether I had talent or not, but the majority of my clothes were self-made and I wore them.

Cooking for six people at lunch time daily was another talent I just developed and the family all survived. Perhaps they were not five star menus, but I got on with it. My cakes were always eaten and in those days I did not have the opportunity to take a photo of them and show them to the world in Facebook, garnishing approval from half the world, although I must admit I have written the odd blog with illustrations.

That is another problem with talents. My talented blog gifts have not yet been recognised by the world blog writers association and my contract has not yet arrived from a well-known publisher to actually put them into print. Ah, the world does not know what it is missing.

I just love these blogs where I can talk about I, me and myself. I know that self-praise is no recommendation, but if I do not do it, who will?

Returning to the talents that I do not have have not yet been recognised, my time is slowly transforming into a golden oldie grey haired phase. My chances of becoming a champion sports woman no longer exist, although I can play a good game of Jass (a Swiss card game). I was also quite good at Facebook games with my own restaurant, a flat and house in Yoville and a wonderful farm, all no longer existing. No, they exist, but I just did not have the time to look after them, I am now blogging to attain recognition in the world of literature.

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  1. I would beg to differ on your statement in the first paragraph. Felines DO play piano!! The world-famous Nora will confirm that. Her first video on YouTube had had over 24 million views!! Here is a LINK to it.

    1. I know about Nora, but whether she would classify for a scholarship at the Royal Academy of Music, I am not sure. I told my felines to watch the video but they do not even look at it with their tails.

    2. LOL. I thought maybe Fluffy was looking to be the next internet sensation :-))

  2. oo ist sie echt .. ich gehe jeden tag an ausgestopften vorbei .. süss ..lg