Write a post about anything you’d like, but be sure to include this sentence somewhere in the final paragraph: “He tried to hit me with a forklift!”
Photographers, artists, poets: show us a NON SEQUITUR.
It was one of those skiddy, cold, icy days
in Winter and my luck was that I had to make a trip to the local supermarket. The
place was packed with shoppers buying everything to make sure they did not
suffer a hunger death over the Christmas holidays.
There I was minding my own business, waiting in the line of cars and watching for a gap between the parking spaces, especially designed for my car. Stopping and starting was not ideal on a snowy surface and in between the maintenance men were clearing the surfaces of ice on the paths between the parked cars.
The car in front moved at last and I was hard on its tail, foot on the gas and foot on the break and then it happened. A row of parked cars on the left and someone tapped on my left window. My eyes were on the front of the line not on the side, but I sank the window and looked. He was not exactly Brad Pitt, more a lookalike Arnold Schwarzenegger with the muscles in other places. I decided to play it cool.
“Can I help you?” I asked, with still one eye on the stop-go queue of cars in front.
“You made a scratch on my car.”
“I did what?????”
“There, look, a deep metal scratch on my nice blue car.”
“But your car is parked on the left side, I am in a moving queue (at least it was trying to move) it is not possible.”
“Come and look.”
I took a chance and climbed out of my stagnant car, hoping the queue would remain stagnant and took a look. Yes there was a deep scratch on the boot of the car, but I am sure it was already there. I had felt no vibrations on the side of my car or hear the metallic scratching sound of a permanent damage.
“I can see the scratch sir, but I am innocent. There is a sign of rust at the end of the scratch, proving it was made some time ago.”
“Are you accusing me of lying. You made that scratch.”
Mr. Muscle man now stretched himself to his full height and clenched a fist.
“Can I help you Miss” and I heard a voice, a rescue anchor in what was bordering on a criminal assault.
“This man said I made a scratch on his car, but I was nowhere near the car.”
“I was in the queue behind you, which has now moved on, and I do not intend to spend the next hour discussing an alledged car accident. The lady is right, I was watching her all the time, she was nowhere near your car.”
“Who says so?” said the Arnold Schwarzenegger lookalike.
“I do. Officer Sipowicz of the New York Police Department.”
I think Arnold was a little taken aback. He remained speechless. It was then his eyes roamed to a lonely forklift ready to shift the snow mass, but not yet used. He jumped into the seat switched the motor on and tried to hit me with the fork lift.The police officer drew his gun and fired a shot. It hit the tire and the forklift stalled in its track. Officer Sipowicz jumped onto Arnold Schwarzenegger, applied his handcuffs to his wrists and phoned the police department. I had helped the police to catch Crafty Jumbo, they had been searching for him for some time. I was not the only innocent lady he had accused. We were many. The next step would have been that I pay for the damager as many other innocent car drivers. All of them his victims. I thanked officer Sipowicz (now where had I heard that name before), jumped into my car and drove into the next available parking space. In the meanwhile there were at least twenty annoyed drivers behind my car. Due to this problem I had caused a hold up. This was very embarrassing.
There I was minding my own business, waiting in the line of cars and watching for a gap between the parking spaces, especially designed for my car. Stopping and starting was not ideal on a snowy surface and in between the maintenance men were clearing the surfaces of ice on the paths between the parked cars.
The car in front moved at last and I was hard on its tail, foot on the gas and foot on the break and then it happened. A row of parked cars on the left and someone tapped on my left window. My eyes were on the front of the line not on the side, but I sank the window and looked. He was not exactly Brad Pitt, more a lookalike Arnold Schwarzenegger with the muscles in other places. I decided to play it cool.
“Can I help you?” I asked, with still one eye on the stop-go queue of cars in front.
“You made a scratch on my car.”
“I did what?????”
“There, look, a deep metal scratch on my nice blue car.”
“But your car is parked on the left side, I am in a moving queue (at least it was trying to move) it is not possible.”
“Come and look.”
I took a chance and climbed out of my stagnant car, hoping the queue would remain stagnant and took a look. Yes there was a deep scratch on the boot of the car, but I am sure it was already there. I had felt no vibrations on the side of my car or hear the metallic scratching sound of a permanent damage.
“I can see the scratch sir, but I am innocent. There is a sign of rust at the end of the scratch, proving it was made some time ago.”
“Are you accusing me of lying. You made that scratch.”
Mr. Muscle man now stretched himself to his full height and clenched a fist.
“Can I help you Miss” and I heard a voice, a rescue anchor in what was bordering on a criminal assault.
“This man said I made a scratch on his car, but I was nowhere near the car.”
“I was in the queue behind you, which has now moved on, and I do not intend to spend the next hour discussing an alledged car accident. The lady is right, I was watching her all the time, she was nowhere near your car.”
“Who says so?” said the Arnold Schwarzenegger lookalike.
“I do. Officer Sipowicz of the New York Police Department.”
I think Arnold was a little taken aback. He remained speechless. It was then his eyes roamed to a lonely forklift ready to shift the snow mass, but not yet used. He jumped into the seat switched the motor on and tried to hit me with the fork lift.The police officer drew his gun and fired a shot. It hit the tire and the forklift stalled in its track. Officer Sipowicz jumped onto Arnold Schwarzenegger, applied his handcuffs to his wrists and phoned the police department. I had helped the police to catch Crafty Jumbo, they had been searching for him for some time. I was not the only innocent lady he had accused. We were many. The next step would have been that I pay for the damager as many other innocent car drivers. All of them his victims. I thanked officer Sipowicz (now where had I heard that name before), jumped into my car and drove into the next available parking space. In the meanwhile there were at least twenty annoyed drivers behind my car. Due to this problem I had caused a hold up. This was very embarrassing.
I wonder if Crafty Jumbo was heard to say 'I'll be back' as he was led away? LOL.
ReplyDeletewho knows what other lies jumbo dumbo has told and gotten away with it?
ReplyDelete