My cats always have to spoil things. When someone builds a villa like that in your neighbourhood, you sometimes wish it could be yours.
“Tabby, Nera, most of the people reading my waffle, do not know me personally, so let me have my fun. It would be nice to have something like that.”
“But Mrs. Human” continued Nera “think of all the windows you would have to clean. If you start at the beginning of the month, you wouldn’t be through by the end of the month. On the other hand me and my feline colleagues would have fun in a house like that. Tabby and I could have a race who gets to the top of the spiral staircase first and the winner gets an extra portion tuna fish.”
“Nera, I do not know if he has a spiral staircase.”
“You are right Mrs. Human, he doesn’t. As you go into the entrance hall there are twin staircases, one on the right and one on the left, they meet in the middle on the top floor on the gallery. Then there are about six doors on the gallery leading to the different rooms. It is really fun going up on the right and coming down on the left.”
“Sounds very good Nera, but how come you know that there is such a large staircase in the hall.”
Tabby decided to say a few words. “Mrs. Human we are felines, what do you think we do at night when we go for a walk? During the building work Nera and I often paid a visit to see how it was progressing. You know curiosity and felines and all that. We explored every nook and cranny. There is a large cellar under the house. If that was ours it would be ideal for keeping a supply of fresh mice. “
“No felines, if that would be my house, the cellar would be used for something more sensible. I could keep my supply of wine in the cellar.”
“But you do not drink Mrs. Human.”
“For the dinner parties and my guests, Nera.”
“What dinner parties?”
“The parties I would hold to show all my friends what a wonderful villa I have.”
“But how would you fill all the other rooms?”
“Felines I would naturally have a computer room, a writing room for my work. A photography room would also be ideal and a training room for my Tai Chi exercises.”
“What about us?” said Nera and Tabby.
“What about you? It is my house, not yours. You will have your normal corner with your food supplies and there will be a few chairs for you to have a comfortable sleep.”
“No Mrs. Human neither Tabby or I look at it that way. We will have a room for felines only. In the corner there will be a glass fronted roofless cabinet with some mice. We will also have a fish tank with real tuna fish swimming around.”
“Nera I will decide that. It is my house.”
“Mrs. Human, since when do humans own a house when felines live there: no way. You can have a room or two. One to live in and another to sleep in. And now to the garden.”
“Oh yes Nera” said Tabby her litter sister “the garden will be ours. Lots of trees, not too high, branches just within paw reach to be able to catch an unsuspecting bird or two for lunch.”
“No felines, does not come into the question. I would love a flower garden and a herb garden.”
“Herb garden is good Mrs. Human” continued Tabby. I would love a bed of catnip, and I am sure my feline friends would also appreciate that. Yes, Mrs. Human a herb garden full of catnip. We could have feline parties. I would not even have to send invites, we felines smell catnip miles away. ”
“And then I have a garden full of felines getting high and rolling around on my wonderful plants. No Tabby, forget it.”
"But Mrs. Human the advantage of a large garden are untold. You would not have to empty our cat try any more. Outside there is one universal cat tray, we could invite all our feline friends, it is just perfect."
"And my garden smells of feline recycling processes, does not come into the question."
“Mrs. Human, look Mrs. Human, perhaps your dream of that house might be getting nearer.”
“Why do you think so Nera feline.”
“Because one of those police vans has just drawn up outside that villa and the owner and his colleagues are being put into it handcuffed. Perhaps the house might be up for sale. Tell WordPress, they would buy it for you.”