Extract from Nera the cats diary, Wednesday
Dear Diary
Things are sometimes boring, just no action. Something called summer, hot sultry days (not bad words for a cat diary) so I seek shadow, the cool parts of the garden. Perhaps under my favourite apple tree, amongst the weeds or nicely settled in an earthy part. Mrs. Human does not like it when I lay in an earthy part all day. She has to cut the snails out of my fur. Actually Mr. Human does the cutting work. I think Mrs. Human is frightened that I might scratch. Have achieved my target – I mean making humans fearing my scratching abilities. So where was I. Yes, a hot sultry (I love that word) day and time to sleep. Will be back this evening diary.
So here I am again after my usual ten hour sleep. The heat is less, the sun slowly disappearing and boy am I hungry. I could eat a mouse, or a bird, or anything that creeps. Even a butterfly would be fine, but they are fluttering around all the time. Now if I take a jump I might catch one in my paws, but jumping means using energy and I would rather conserve (another great word) my energy for the night.
Alert, I hear something. What day is it today, my diary tells me Wednesday. Great, I love Wednesdays. It is the day when I willingly succumb to a great temptation. (I got that one from Internet – you know where Mrs. Human always hangs out when she is not cleaning or ironing and cooking, something called Multiply.) Anyhow where was I – ah yes Wednesday the most important day of the week. Even the other cats in this living community have a thorough wash on Wednesday. We all make sure that we are clean from behind the ears to our paws. The answer to the mystery is quite obvious. Wednesday is tuna fish day. It is the day when Mrs. Human makes noises with a tin and its opener. I supposed you have all heard of Pavlov and his experiments with the dogs. Well imagine the same thing happening to cats. The clanking of metal against metal and the reward of our favourite feline meal really starts the stomach juices operating. Dogs are stupid, even if they did not get their food from Pavlov their stomach juices were still being produced and they went hungry. Cats are clever, if we do not get our just reward of tuna fish we just give up and wait, knowing that the look of a hungry cat will soften the heart of our humans. We trained them that way.
Anyhow I must now be going, I can hear the sound of my dinner plate being filled and diary or no diary, I do not want to miss out on that. So, as we say, let us willingly succumb to a tuna fish meal.
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