Tuesday, 21 July 2009

MULTIPLY Visual Aid #17: Roman Holiday


“Jenny, Jenneeeeee“

“What do you want Clive?

“Have you seen my shorts, the new ones with the eagle sign and the letters GA on them.

“No idea where you put them. You mean the ones that cost twice as much as the others because of the eagle sign and the letters GA.”

“Yes, I mean those. I need them for our holiday.”

“But we are not going on holiday until the end of next week, so there is really no rush.”

“It’s the first time we have been to Italy and I want to make sure that I don’t forget everything. Come and help me find them. What are you doing on the stairs?”

“I’m getting ready for my holiday as well.”

“What does that have to do with sitting on the stairs with your head tilted upwards?”

“That’s my business. I think you will find your special expensive shorts with the eagle sign still in the plastic bag. You said you wanted to take them on holiday in the original packing because it is not every day you have a special bag with Harrods written on it. I don’t know why you had to get such expensive shorts, the local market would have done just as well.”

“Jenny we are going to Italy, to Rome. You cannot wander around in Rome with any old shorts. It is a fashion centre and you have to keep up appearances. You still havn’t told me what you are doing on the stairs with your head in the air.”

“I told you I am preparing for our holiday in Rome.”

“And that means that you have to look up at the ceiling for an hour, strange exercise.”

“Not really, dear, just think it over.”

“Think what over?”

“When we arrive in Rome, where are we going?”

“To our hotel, of course.”

“Silly Clive. We will not spend the complete week in the hotel will we? I mean you will be walking around in your designer shorts, which cost twice as much as the normal shorts, so you must intend going places.”

“Of course, there are so many sites to see in Rome. The Coliseum, The Roman Forum, and of course we will be going to the Vatican, why we might even see the pope.”

“I am sure he will appreciate your new shorts.”

“Now don’t be ironic. What have you bought for special clothes for Rome. I hope you are not walking around in your usual washed out jeans.”

“I am taking them with me, just in case, but I did buy a new pair of jeans.”

“But not from the local supermarket again, please. I can’t walk around with you in my shorts and you are wearing something cheap.“

Well if you must know, mine do not have eagle sign and the letters GA on them, but imagine, just four letters.”

“Four letters?”

“D I O R: satisfied.”

“Oh, I see. So what are you doing with your head looking upwards in preparation for our trip to Rome????”

“Think darling. Now what is just round the corner to St. Pauls in the Vatican?”

“I have not got a clue – the Spanish steps?”

“No, they are on the other side of Rome;the Sistine chapel of course.”

“So what does that have to do with your head in the air?”

“Who did the interior decorating for the chapel?”

“Oh, I know, was it Versace?”

“Clive it is not a designer chapel. It was done somewhere in the sixteenth century. Read your tourist books. Michelangelo spent four years painting twelve thousand square feet of the ceiling. I do not intend to come home from Rome with a stiff neck.”


“I am practicing of course."

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