"Nera do you have to sleep on my pile of wash that I want to iron?" My cat Nera can really be impossible sometimes.
"I am not sleeping Mrs. Human, I am just having a stretch. I was on the computer having a tweet with my feline colleagues and my paws got a bit cramped. You know we felines just don't have hands and fingers like you humans. Apart from that you know that things to be ironed are the most comfortable for a relaxation programme."
"Just a minute Nera. I didn't get that bit, you were having a tweet."
"Yes, since I belong I have found so many friends all over the world."
"How many, if you don't mind me asking."
"Well at the moment I have 18 cats following me, but I am only following 12 of them. You cannot just follow every cat that happens to turn up. I blocked a couple, but they were only humans trying to sell me something. We cats like to keep things to ourselves."
"But you have the same amount as me. Now how does a cat get so popular on Twitter?"
"That's easy Mrs. Human. First of all they see my photo and find I am attractive and I have a sort of sympathetic aura I suppose. The MeatLoafy in America even showed me a photo of his sister. Looks a bit like me with shorter fur."
"Who is MeatLoafy?"
"A very nice tabby cat who also keeps her humans under control. Not to mention Bibicat, Kallie and Timmy of course. We have a tweet nearly every day."
"Where do you find all these cats."
"Mrs. Human you don't really think I go looking for any old cat. I am very choosy. Most of them find me and then we get to know each other. Bibicat is in England but all the others are so far away in America. Thanks to the computer we have no problem communicating."
"I am not sure I am very happy about this development Nera. You know Internet is a dangerous world."
"What about all your Multiply stuff. You even write things and show photos of me and my sister Tabby and live-in cat Fluffy. We are never asked. It might be that we don't want everyone to know details about our private feline lives. I mean look at the photo on this piece. I am having a private lick, and thousands, if not millions, of humans are seeing it. Would you like me to take a photo of you when you have a shower in the morning and show it to everyone?"
"Nera, it is not the same thing."
"Why not. You humans really think you know everything better. It is amazing what a little jealousy can do just because I have more success that you with my twittering. Just wait, I will soon be on Facebook."
"No Nera, not Facebook. What will my friends say?"
"I think your friends would be pleased to know you have such an intelligent cat. And now enough, I am tired from typing on the computer and answering all the members of my fan club, I just need my beauty sleep."
I discovered with a cat you just can't win.