Sunday, 2 December 2007

Reservoir Cats 19

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Long Tail Al: ‚allo Charlie, anyfing new on the streets?
Charlie: Well funny you should say that boss, I saw one of the Crat twins around, you know the ones in charge of the black paw gang, but they were acting a bit funny to say the least.
Long Tail Al: Well I ‘eard they’re now working for the Orientals, but up to now we ain’t ‘ad any troubles wiv ‘em.
Charlie: Yea, well it was Ronnie I saw, you know the one that brought Cat McVitie round the corner.
Long Tail Al: Yea, well that Ronnie always was a bit of a funny one although that Cat McVitie was ‘aving it off with Reggie Crat’s missus, Ronnie’s sister-in-law.
Charlie: Yea, well Ronnie’s sister-in-law was ‘aving it off wiv every willing tom cat in the neighbourhood. Funny fing with Ronnie, I never saw ‘im on the tiles with the ladies. ‘e was always ‘anging around where the kittens were.
Long Tail Al: Yea I know, until Gladys told ‘im to sling ‘is ‘ook otherwise ‘e would ‘ave to see me about it.
Charlie: Well in any case ‘e’s now walking around wiv a funny look in ‘is eyes.
Long Tail Al: So tell me something new.
Charlie: No, boss you don’t get me. He ‘appened to walk right in me path, so of course I went on one side – if it’s one fing you don’t do it’s to get in the way of the black paw gang, especially Ronnie Crat. In any case ‘e just sort of looked through me as if I wasn’t there. Just walked on. I thought I would follow ‘im and then all of a sudden ‘e met up wiv one of the orientals, but a funny looking one that was.
Long Tail Al: Wotcha mean Charlie?
Charlie: Well I ain’t never seen anyfing like it. It was an oriental, but ‘e was big and as white as the snow in Winter and ‘is eyes, now they were right strange.
Long Tail Al: So, don’t try me patience Charlie. What’s wiv the eyes.
Charlie: Well they were red, and I don’t just mean red, but real red.
Long Tail Al: Well what’s the difference between red and real red. Just remind me to ‘ave a word with Big Tom. I fink I will ‘ave to send some of my cats to ‘im in school. The intelligence level of the town cats does leave a lot to desire.
Charlie: Ok, but Ronnie and this big white red-eyed cat were looking at each other. Well Ronnie was looking at ‘im right into ‘is eyes and all of a sudden he got all funny and got down on ‘is knees and started nodding ‘is ‘ead.
Long Tail Al: Nah this is getting interesting. And then?
Charlie: Well Ronnie walked off towards the museum and disappeared through the door.
Long Tail Al: and that’s where the orientals ‘ave got their ‘eadquarters. Fink I will ‘ave to ‘ave a talk with Romeo about this. ‘E seems to be the expert on this sort of fing.
Romeo: Vieni Long Tail Al. I was just getting ready to go back to Big Tom.
Long Tail Al: Yea, I ‘ave a question. `ave you every ‘eard of a cat that’s white wiv red eyes.
Romeo: Well I have never seen one, but I think Big Tom mentioned it once when Lucky Catiano got rid of the Orientals.
Long Tail Al: Well I fink I’ll come wiv ya when you go back to Big Tom. ‘E might know somefing more.

Big Tom: Hello Al, to what do I owe the honour of the visit of the town cat boss.
Long Tail Al: We got big problems Tom, big problems.
Big Tom: Tell me
Long Tail Al: Well you ‘eard that the orientals are moving in in town. Up to now they’re in the museum, but they got the black paw gang already in their ‘ands.
Big Tom: And what are you doing about it?
Long Tail Al: Well, I am still doing some planning. Up to now they ain’t done much, but it seems that Ronnie Crat, one of the twins that leads the black paws wiv ‘is bruvver Reggie, ‘as been seen wiv a big white oriental cat wiv red eyes.
Big Tom: Just a minute Al, will be right back. I have to make a long distance cat call with Lucky Catiano, this sounds very strange.

Big Tom: Well Al, I think you are in for big trouble.
Long Tail Al: Tell me Tom
Big Tom: The big white cat with the red eyes is an albino and goes under the name of Mr. Wang. He can mesmerise any cat around by just looking into its eyes. Lucky Catiano had a lot of trouble with him. He was the oriental’s secret weapon.
Long Tail Al: So how did Lucky Catiano manage to get rid of him.
Big Tom: Thanks to an ambush organised by the combined strength of the Chicago cats under the leadership of Al Catone, they managed to put Mr. Wang in a black bag and tie it up and throw him into the Lake of Michigan so they thought he had drowned.
Long Tail Al: Well it don’t seem like ‘e did, does it.
Big Tom: It seems to me that the only way you are going to win this one is with our help.
Long Tail Al: Fanks Tom, but we ain’t got the Chicago cats around ‘ere ‘ave we.
Big Tom: The problem is that when the Orientals are finished in town our settlement is not far away and we will probably be the next. Al you go on home, and I will see what I can do for you.

Pablo: I have just had a visit from Ronnie Crat
Madame Butterfly: And what did he have to say?
Pablo: He told me that Slimy, will be on his own tonight raiding some trash cans outside the Italian restaurant. Mr. Wang told Ronnie to spread a trail of meat balls up to the cans so he is bound to be there.
Madame Butterfly: Very good. When he is there Mr. Wang will be waiting and can hypnotise Slimy to do our will.
Pablo: You are so clever Butterfly.
Madame Butterfly: I know, after all if it wasn’t for me Mr. Wang would now be at the bottom of Lake Michigan. Luckily I saw what was happening and pushed some of my guards into the Lake with the orders to save Mr. Wang. Luckily he was pulled out by one of the guards, unfortunately 10 other perished in the rescue effort, but guards can always be replaced.

Slimy: Boss, I’m just going out for a bref of fresh air.
Long Tail Al: A good idea Slimy, then we might get some fresh air in ‘ere when you’re gone. Where ya going?
Slimy: Well it’s Friday ain’t it and they always do spaghetti wiv meat balls at the local Italian restaurant. It ain’t the spaghetti, but the meat balls that I like. They always throw somefing away worth eating on Friday.
Long Tail Al: Be careful, you know the dangers that are lurking at the moment.
Slimy: You mean the oriental mob. No problem boss, that’s one of the advantages when you smell a bit, they don’t come near you.

Slimy: Blimy it’s cold this evening. Now that’s nice, someone must ‘ave dropped ‘is meat balls wiv a take away meal. Now they smell good. Just around the corner is the Italian restaurant, let’s ‘ope there’s more there. Who’s that geezer standing there. Don’t look like one of us, we ain’t got no big white cats wiv red eyes.
Mr. Wang: Good evening, you must be Mr. Slimy
Slimy: Well I ain’t never been a Mr. What d’ya want.
Mr. Wang: I would like to have a talk under four eyes. I have heard you are one of the most important cats in town and I am sure you would like to help your chief, Mr. Long Tail Al in his fight against the Oriental cats. Just look into my eyes and I will give you all the information you need.
Slimy: Well you ‘ave got colourful eyes if I might mention it. Now I do feel a bit funny, d’ya mind if I lay down and relax a bit, Oh you ‘ave got such big eyes.
Mr. Wang: Mr. Slimy, do you know Madame Butterfly.
Slimy: No, never ‘eard of ‘er, but sounds good. I like to eat the odd butterfly now and again.
Mr. Wang: Repeat after me. Madame Butterfly is now my boss. I will now do everything she tells me.
Slimy: Madame Butterfly is now my boss. I will now do everything she tells me.
Madame Butterfly: Now that is something I like to hear from my cats. Pleased to meet you Slimy, I am Madame Butterfly.
Slimy: Good evening boss, what can I do for you. Your wish is my command.
Mr. Wang: Can I go now Madame Butterfly, I think my work is done for this evening.
Madame Butterfly: Yes Mr. Wang, go with my blessing. There is a small reward in the museum kitchen. One of my faithful servants has prepared some steamed duck for you. And now to you Mr. Slimy. You will go home this evening and report to Long Tail Al that the Oriental cats have decided to leave tomorrow morning and return to China town in Chicago.
Slimy: Yes Madame Butterfly. I will obey.

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