Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Reservoir Cats - 9

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Tabby: Nera, I think Grey is going, I just saw him sleek past the wall of his house.
Nera: Ok, Tabby, then follow him, but at a distance and make no noise.
Bobinette: And don’t sniff any catnip if your find some on the way
Tabby: This is a secret mission and I will stay clean. To be quite honest, I had my fair share last week.
Nera: Good luck Tabby, and be careful

Tabby: Well it looks like that Grey is moving towards town, so I will just keep up at a distance.

Mr. Grey: I think I have made quite an impression on Long Tail Al. If I do things properly I can take over Big Tom’s revier. I will let Long Tail Al have the part down by the river and I will live up on the hill in Big Tom’s villa.

Tabby: Looks like I am not the only cat on the road tonight. What’s that big black cat doing on the other side of the path sleeking along through the bushes. He smell’s different to our pack, more like a town cat. I sense trouble. I will send a cat signal to Nera that trouble might be coming.

Nera: I have just received a signal from Tabby. Seems that there is a big black cat on its way from town.
Bobinette: This is getting very risky. Ask Tabby how far away he is.
Nera: Now Tabby is out of cat signal range, so we will have to keep an eye on the situation ourselves.

Charlie: To think I let a good opportunity go by to get to know a nice lady cat this evening, to take a walk to the country. Walking through those bushes doesn’t do much good to my fur, full of twigs and leaves now. What do I see there, two cats. Now one looks like a nice lady companion. She miaows with a foreign accent. Let’s get a bit closer to have a sniff.

Bobinette: Nera, there is that black cat and ‘e is coming in my direction.
Nera: What does he want?
Charlie: Good evening ladies. I was just taking a walk in the fresh country air. Didn’t think that I would find such beautiful ladies in this part of the woods.
Nera: Hisssss stranger, go back to where you came from.
Charlie: Now that’s no nice is it. I make you ladies compliments and all I get is a hiss and told to clear out.
Bobinette: We don’t know you, and don’t want to know you. You smell different.
Charlie: Of course I smell different. I am one of the special cats. The ladies are proud to be seen with me. You look like a nice bit of female fur. How about us two
Nera: Leave Bobinette alone, otherwise you will have to deal with me as well.
Bobinette: Nera, ‘e is coming closer. I don’t like this big black cat.
Charlie: Awwww – you country bumpkin, don’t attack me otherwise you will be sorry.
Nera: Bobinette run away and send a signal to Romeo to come and help.
Charlie: Who’s Romeo? The latin lover around here? Needs more than that to push me away.
Nera: So big black smelly cat now you can take it out with me.
Charlie: No problem, hissss. I like a taste of black cats like me. What do they call you Nery Fairy – that’s a good name.
Nera: Hissss, take your paws off of me and keep your mouth shut – you have bad breath.
Charlie: I can paw a scrawny cat like you any time and I have to open my mouth to take a bite. Awwww what’s that.
Romeo: That was a scratch on the nose from me, Romeo, consigliere to Big Tom and if you touch one of my cats again you will regret it. Capisci.
Charlie: I ain’t taking any orders from an Italian gigolo.
Romeo: I have had enough of his insults. Nera, Bobinette let’s chase this no-good smelly cat away. Big Tom certainly won’t allow him to hang around in our part of the world.
Bobinette: Go back to the place you come from, we do not want you here.
Nera: Otherwise we will make catmeat out of you. Hisssss
Charlie: Ok, Ok One cat against 3 is not fair. I am off.
Romeo: And don’t forget to lick your wounds on the way.
Bobinette: Thank goodness he is gone. What an ugly cat he was.
Nera: I am glad you managed to get Romeo here so quickly.
Romeo: I was already on my way. With my cat signal system I know when two lady cats are in distress. You know in Italy I was the best bodyguard the ladies could wish for.
Bobinette: Yes Romeo, but sometimes you were more than just a bodyguard. Remember.
Romeo: It didn’t seem to bother you Bobinette, did it.
Nera: So you two turtle cats, I think we have other things to do than to start going over old times.

Tabby: Mr. Grey is keeping up a good pace, but I can see the church from here, so we are nearly there. He has now disappeared into a window of the cellar of the church. Must keep close to see where he is going. I love churches, they smell so nice and mousy in the cellars.
Now where is he going, through a gap in that big wooden door and I can hear other cat voices, all speaking with a cockney accent. They must be town cats.

Long Tail Al: Well, well if it ain’t that scrawny grey cat again. ‘ow’s fings in the country? Keeping everyfing under control.
Mr. Grey: I think the other cats in my area are feeling a bit uneasy. I don’t talk to them any more and just keep away from them.
Long Tail Al: Yea, well that’s ok. A good fing to make ‘em a bit nervous before we attack. Makes the take over a lot better.
Mr. Grey: You want to attack?
Long Tail Al: Well we ain’t a group of choir boys ‘ere, even if we do live in a church. That’s just a nice cosy place to be, although a bit cold sometimes. Looking forward to warming me paws on a nice patch of country grass as soon as we take over.
Mr. Grey: Yes, well about taking over. I thought we would split the territory up when I am in charge.
Long Tail Al: You in charge, I fink we ‘ave ‘ad a misunderstanding somewhere. I am the boss and you just deliver the inside information so that we know ‘ow the land lies. Understand?
Mr. Grey: And how do you know how to get into their territory and chase Big Tom away if I don’t let you have the plans of his villa?
Slimy: ‘es got a point their Al.
Long Tail Al: What’s that just come in like a Whirlwind and making muddy footprints on me floor. Charlie what’s the ‘urry.
Charlie: Well it’s like this boss. I went out to the country like you said and met a couple of them cats that live there.
Long Tail Al: I thought I told you to be discrete. So tell me, ‘ow many ladies were there?
Charlie: Well, I mean, you know ‘ow things are when you’re a real tom cat. If ladies are around then you ‘ave to ‘ave a sniff at their fur.
Long Tail Al: And what ‘appened.
Charlie: Well I mean there were two ladies and one spoke with such a romantic French accent that I got a bit pally with her. Then suddenly this big tom appeared speaking with an Italian accent and ‘ad a go at me.
Long Tail Al: One cat ‘ad a go at you. And don’t tell me you ran away from one cat.
Charlie: Well not exactly, cause the ladies joined in as well – look at that scratch on me nose
Long Tail Al: It seems that you didn’t exactly ‘ave success in the country and if you don’t disappear from my sight at once, you’ll ‘ave another scratch to match it behind the ears. D’ya get me Charlie.
Charlie: Sorry boss, but you know…..
Long Tail Al: Clear out, disappear. Charlie is useless. A bit of fur under ‘is nose and ‘e forgets everything. Seems to me that there is a new smell around ‘ere. Go and ‘ave a look Slimy outside the door.

Tabby: Time for me to go. I have heard enough. Must warn the others an attack is being planned.

Slimy: Well, boss I didn’t see anything, but could swear I saw the tip of a tabby cat’s tail jumping out the window.

Mr. Grey: Tabby!
Long Tail Al: Who’s Tabby? Another one of those country bumpkins.
Mr. Grey: Yes, she must have followed me.
Long Tail Al: Now this is getting serious. I ain’t waiting much longer, in 2 nights we attack.

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