Mr. Grey: Hi, dad, how’s things going
Big Tom: I don’t think I am hearing well. “Hi dad”, what’s that supposed to be. I brought you up to show respect and not to talk to me as “dad” – I am Sir. And you smell of catnip.
Mr. Grey: Yeah, it’s great – want some too, I have some stuck in my fur
Big Tom: Nera will you perhaps explain why my No. 1 son has turned into a cat junkie overnight.
Nera: Well, not quite overnight – it’s been going on for some time. We had to keep hiding the catnip to make sure that he stayed with all paws on the ground.
Bobinette: Yes, and he even started exchanging it with the cats in the area for tuna fish.
Big Tom: My son a drug addict and dealer as well. If it is one thing I cannot stand it’s dealing with catnip. When I think of all the poor little kittens that have grown up as junkies. That sort of thing does not belong on the streets and fields. You just cannot rely on a cat that is high on catnip. Romeo come here, avanti, avanti.
Romeo: Si, capo
Big Tom: We will have to have a talk under 4 eyes and two noses, without witnesses. Capisci.
Romeo: Si, subito.
Big Tom: Ok, follow me to my villa. In the meanwhile, Nera and Bobinette, keep an eye on my catnipped son.
Nera: No problem, he seems to have fallen into a deep sleep.
Big Tom: Ok Romeo, we have got to do something about this. It just throws a bad light on my territoria when my No. 1 son starts drug peddling with catnip. Think of all the poor little kitties that will be led astray. As consigliere you can perhaps advise. Any ideas?
Romeo: Perhaps we could call Diego back. He was in charge before Mr. Grey was given the job.
Big Tom: I don’t think that will be possible. Diego was such a strong boy that I gave him to the farm where they breed cats. He has become No. 1 stud cat on the farm and is far too busy organising his women and keeping his children in order. After all, amongst his kittens one day there might be my successor, so he is doing serious work.
Romeo: The last I heard, capo, he is enjoying his work very much.
Big Tom: We should all be enjoying our work, after all it is for me and the cat clan future. No, I cannot call Diego back, he has too many responsibilities.
Romeo: Perhaps we could choose one of the other cats. Bobinette is such a fine strong lady and I am sure she would organise things well in Mr. Grey’s territory.
Big Tom: That doesn’t work. She is a lady cat, and lady cats do not take charge in my revier. I would be the laughing stock of all cats from Sicily to Marseille. No, that does not come into the question. And don’t suggest Nera, apart from being another female, she would take everything over within a few weeks. She is a sly one – I once fancied her myself, perfect moll - but that’s another story.
Romeo: Problem is down in that territoria there are 12 cats and only one tomcat, Mr. Grey. You can’t bring a cat in from outside, you know what the reaction could be. Rivalry all over the place – too many tomcats spoil the clan.
Big Tom: What about you Romeo? Interested?
Romeo: Well, I wouldn’t mind and I am sure I would get on with the other cats – bella Bobinette.
Big Tom: What was that you said.
Romeo: Sorry boss, just thinking out loud. But who is going to replace me as your consigliere.
Big Tom: I think I will have to pass on a message to Diego. He must have a few sons that are willing to learn. I think I have the solution. Diego will send one of his sons here that has the gift of legal matters and you will have a month’s time to teach. I will then have a new consigliere and then you may go down to Mr. Grey’s territoria and take over, with Nera and Bobinette as your molls.
Romeo: Bene capo, nulla problema. It would be a pleasure to take over.
Big Tom: Ok, call Nera and Bobinette.
Romeo: Nera, Bobinette, Big Tom would like a few words.
Bobinette: What shall we do with Mr. Grey, he is still sleeping.
Romeo: lascia, lascia, let him sleep. He will wake up soon enough to go back home.
Big Tom: Ok Nera and Bobinette, Romeo will take over your revier in a month’s time. In the meanwhile you will both make sure that Mr. Grey does not come near any catnip at all. Perhaps you can tell your colleague Tabby to remove all the catnip from the gardens?
Nera: Well, ….. er….. I suppose we could.
Big Tom: Any problem?
Bobinette: No, No, big Tom we will organise things.
Big Tom: Then that is settled. You are very lucky that you have such a strong, clever and capable gatto di tutti gatti like me in this area and that my decisions are always wise. As far as Mr. Grey is concerned, he no longer has any privileges, his title of No. 1 son will be removed and he will now become the cleaner of the area. OK.
Bobinette: No problem.
Big Tom: In that case you may go on your way with my blessing – and take Mr. Grey with you, I don’t want him here any longer, he has disgraced my whole family – maladetta