Friday, 21 September 2007

Fluffy the Brave

Tabby: Nera, Nera – wake up, I want to have a few words with you
Nera: Meow – what’s all the noise, I am just catching up on my beauty sleep. What’s the problem?
Tabby: It’s Fluffy
Nera: Can we have five minutes peace and quiet here without having to talk about Fluffy. I have had a very stressy day and Fluffy is the last thing I want to discuss at the moment. Meow. If you knew what I had been through today, you wouldn’t start conversations when I am relaxing.
Tabby: Ok Nera, so tell me all about it and then we can perhaps have a normal feline conference together afterwards.
Nera: It is fairly obvious Tabby, just look at my fur coat.
Tabby: It looks as black and long as ever, although it doesn’t smell as strong as it usually does, and there are no twigs or dead snails tangled up in it.
Nera: Exactly - although I didn’t hear the bit about being smelly. My coat never smells. But just look at the bits at the top of my legs.
Tabby: What bits? It looks very tidy and neat.
Nera: Hiss, Hiss – tidy and neat. Do you know what one of those furless, whiskerless humans did today? As I was relaxing he started stroking my head which I found very pleasant. Then suddenly he had the scissors in his hand, grabbed my neck, pushed my head down and taking me completely by surprise, started cutting bits of fur out. The whole process was very degrading just to say the least, and look at me now. I feel like a recruit for the cat marine regiment going off to the tropics, short back and sides to say the least.
Tabby: Well it doesn’t notice that much and you really no longer smell and you don’t have things crawling out of your fur any more. So now I want to ask your opinion on something.
Nera: What things crawling out of my fur. I never saw anything crawling out of my fur and if you are going to be insulting, I won’t give my opinion on anything.
Tabby: You know ants. Mrs. Human once complained to Mr. Human about the ants that you bring into their (sorry) our home. Now to the problem, I have noticed that Fluffy has been fighting with other cats lately.
Nera: Well let him fight, he keeps them out of our territory and we don’t have to bother.
Tabby: It’s not that, but he is smaller than us, and younger. My reputation and yours is being undermined.
Nera: What is that supposed to mean.
Tabby: Well the Mr. Grey from across the field and the cat with the French miaow next door, Bobinette, are laughing at us two. They think we are two softies letting Fluffy do all the fighting for us.
Nera: Well in that case, perhaps I should have a few words. Although I must say Tabby, you have never been very successful in keeping our territory clean from other cats. It always seems to me you run away from the others with your tail between your legs.
Tabby: Nera, you could help me out now and again, but you just watch and do nothing.
Nera: I am contemplating and thinking Tabby, like all wise, clever, beautiful black cats do. Don’t forget, if I started fighting my fur would get tangled and I might loose bits of it.
Tabby: Like you did today when Mr. Human pinned you down??
Nera: I didn’t hear the last remark, but if you really think that I should have a few words with Fluffy, I will. Fluffy where are you.
Fluffy: I’m coming, I was just watching the boundaries of our territory for foreign cats. You know you can’t be too careful these days.
Nera: Well I was just going to ask you about that. Tabby was saying that you have started fighting with other cats lately. Basically that’s ok, but you must wait a few years to do that. After all Tabby and I have been here a few years longer than you have and we are the cats to be respected.
Fluffy: Well, to be quite honest, I only got angry with the other cats because they were talking about us, well actually Nera they were talking about you.
Nera: They were doing what. Probably admiring my beautiful silky fur and my long bushy tail.
Fluffy: Not exactly, I overheard them saying that you smell a bit strong now and again.
Nera: They said what??????
Tabby: Nera, stay cool, it’s not that bad
Nera: Tabby I have the feeling that you knew all about this
Fluffy: Well I did mention it to Tabby, but she said it is only in the Summer that you smell because of your long fur and the insects and twigs that get caught in it. Then I heard Mr. Grey and Bobinette talking about the cat next door that smells, so I though I would defend your honour and keep them out of the garden. Otherwise it might be that it gets all over the neighbourhood and everyone is talking about you.
Nera: Fluffy, who actually won the fight.
Fluffy: Well I did actually. I felt their presence, so did the sleeking cat walk and caught them by surprise. You should have seen them run afterwards.
Nera: Fluffy, do you think I smell?
Fluffy: Funny thing is yesterday you did, but today you just smell like a normal cat.
Tabby: That’s because Mr. Human cut the smelly bits out.
Nera: Tabby, keep that to yourself. I think the problem is now solved. Fluffy did a good job keeping those foreign cats out of our plot and I am sure they won’t be bothering us anymore.

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