Friday, 17 August 2007

It's raining cats and other things

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There they are - my 3 cats - they were having a dicussion this morning, so I did a bit of eavesdropping.

Tabby: "I'm bored"
Nera: "Cats do not get bored, we observe and contemplate"
Tabby: "Call it want you want, but I am bored. We had some lovely outdoor weather, exploring the local fields, waiting for a bird to fall off a tree or a mouse to go for a walk and now it's raining. "
Fluffy: "I agree Tabby, I don't mind water coming upwards, but hate it when it falls downwards".
Nera: "You two can be a disgrace to the cat nation. After all think of our ancestors, They were never bored. They were always busy finding something to do. Do you really think a cat in Egypt once said to his family that he was bored - Never."
Fluffy: "Yes but our ancestors were in Egypt where it never hardly rains so they didn't sit behind windows waiting for it to stop."
Tabby: "And they lived in the corn chambers. I wouldn't have minded a life like that either. Surrounded by at least 100 mice per day - I would never have been bored".
Nera: "A short walk in the rain never did any harm to a cat. Now and again I stretch my legs outside."
Tabby: "We notice it Nera - not wanting to be personal, but when your fur gets wet it stinks"
Fluffy: "Yes it notices, even our humans said something about you being smelly when you get wet"
Nera: "Hiss, hiss - you don't have to be insulting, you two don't actually smell like a rosebud sometimes, especially when you have been eating tuna fish."
Tabby: "Even the cat next door doesn't go out when it's raining."
Nera: "After what happened last week, I don't think she will be making any visits in our territory for some time."
Tabby: "Did I miss something?"
Fluffy: "I think you was indoors sleeping (as usual). As you know I don't see very well any more - actually I don't see anything any more, but my nose and ears are still working. Anyhow I smelt something different in the garden and felt a strange cat presence nearby rolling in the patch where our catnip was planted last year. I decided to go over to find out what was going on. After all no-one plays with our catnip."
Tabby: "True, there is no discussion - our catnip is ours. Nera where were you when this was going on?"
Nera: "I was naturally observing the situation and thinking about putting my claws out."
Fluffy "Can I carry on. It would make a change when you two would listen to what I have to say instead of interrupting all the time. After all I am a Selkirk Rex."
Tabby: "You don't have to show off. A fluke of nature - a distant ancestor being born somewhere in the middle of America in a cat home with curly fur."
Nera: "Tabby do I detect a trace of jealousy? Let Fluffy carry on, after all you wanted to hear what happened."
Fluffy: "I don't know whether I want to carry on after having my family line being insulted by a short haired tabby with a Macdonalds "M" on her forehead."
Tabby: "Who has a Macdonalds "M"?"
Fluffy: "I heard our human once talking to the other human about tabby cats and that they all have an "M" pattern on their forehead and the other human said it looked like a Macdonalds "M"."
Tabby: "Fluffy be careful what you say, otherwise you might not be fluffy any more by the time I have combed your fur with my claws."
Nera: "Tabby keep your claws to yourself and Fluffy carry on with what happened. After all I also play an important part in the story.
Fluffy: "OK, hiss, hiss, where was I before that Macdonalds cat interrupted."
Tabby: "Hisssssssssssssss"
Nera: "Tabby, Fluffy enough - otherwise after I have finished with the next tuna meal there won't be any left for either of you"
Fluffy: "I continue. Anyhow I noticed the fat fluffy cat next door was doing things in our territory where the cat nip was. I jumped at her with claws out and hissed as loud as I could."
Tabby: "What did she do?"
Fluffy: "She hissed back and I felt that she had turned into my direction. She was actually going to pounce I think."
Nera: "I will continue. From my observance post on the chair I saw that the situation was becoming critical. Our catnip patch was endangered, the big fat furry monster from next door was getting ready to attack our Fluffy (I mean Fluffy is one of us even if he isn't related) so I decided to come to the rescue. I took a jump and joined in the hissing, but me being the chief cat could naturally hiss much louder than anyone else and my appearance also does tend to dominate when such problems occur."
Tabby: "Ok Nera, we know you are big, fat and and have long black fur - something like the cat of the Baskervilles, so what happened?"
Fluffy: "Well I must admit I was feeling a bit uncertain, but suddenly Nera was standing next to me and the nextdoor cat took one look, hissed again and turned and ran back home."
Nera: "I must say Fluffy, although I do tend to ignore you and push you to one side when you are in the way, I was proud of you on that day and I have now decided to accept you as one of us. And would just like to add, Tabby, I am not the cat of the Baskervilles, more like a Midnight Lady"
Fluffy: "Thanks Nera, I was glad that you arrived at the right time as I don't know whether I would have been a match for the cat next door."
Tabby: "The moral of the story being Together We Are Strong."
Nera: "Yes Tabby, and if you would sleep a bit less and not spend more than half the time with your eyes closed, we would be even stronger, wouldn't we?"
Tabby: "It has stopped raining and the sun is shining. Think I will go for a walk."
Nera: "Not bored anymore Tabby?"
Tabby: "Not really, I think I will have to stay awake a bit more, I seem to miss all the excitement."
Nera: "I will also take a walk - and you Fluffy."
Fluffy: "I will just have a sit in the garden - I usually get lost when I go for walks on my own, that's why I always have my lead in the garden. But you two go and enjoy yourselves in the fields, I will protect our territory in the meanwhile from any intruders."

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