Wednesday, 22 August 2007

Cat on a Tin Roof - Well not exactly but almost

Where did I get this story from. Again it is based on a true happening. One of my dear friends on the cat site where I administrate actually does live in Kentucky and has I think about 5 cats, although one just pays a visit now and again. So here is the story of what happened.

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I heard my cats talking again.

Tabby: Hey did you hear what our cousins in the the American Blue Grass State got up to?
Nera: Somehow I was getting our cat telephathic waves, but was busy eating – food always comes first. Any case I don’t really understand that Southern miaow drawl that they seem to have.
Fluffy: What’s the Blue Grass State Tabby? I like a munch of green grass now and again to clear my digestive system, but don’t think that blue grass would be my sort of thing. I think the cats went climbing didn’t they – tell us about it Tabby.
Tabby: It’s called blue grass becauseI think the grass grows a bit bluish in Kentucky where they live. Our cousins munch it as well and it doesn’t seem to do them any harm. If you were so gifted as I am with foreign miaows you would have understood Nera. Anyhow, this is what I heard.

So this is what Tabby told the cats.

Imagine a nice home somewhere in Kentucky with a few happy cats well looked after by Mr. and Mrs. Bluegrass. They live in a nice area, sometimes in the garden and sometimes in the house. One day Black-n-White, Torti and Smokey were having a conversation outside.

Smokey: I’m kinda bored
Torti: Hey Smokey you have only been living with us for a few months and you’re bored. You just have to find your own fun around here, like we all do. We ain’t in the cat Macdonalds where you get a clown to amuse you.
Black-n-White: Torti sure is right – you’ll probably find something fun to do, but just make sure Mr. and Mrs. Bluegrass ain’t lookin, otherwise they are gonna put a stop to the fun before it starts.
Smokey: Know what I was thinkin. I’ve been around quite a lot here on the ground up to now, like sniffin out chipmunks and chasing after raccoons. Even had a bobcat chasin me once – don’t like them, they are big. Anyhow thought I would like to see what things look like from above. Saw Mrs. Bluegrass once readin a book something like “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” by some guy called Tennesse Williams and give me a bit of an idea. Ain’t got no hot tin roof, but the one we have would do.
Black-n-White: Well I can tell you Smokey, Mrs. And Mrs. Bluegrass ain’t gonna laugh when they see you up on that roof.
Torti: Yeah, they are gonna get all worked up – you know they think we cats don’t know how to get down again.
Smokey: Now I was looking at that cute little holly bush on the side and thought if I took a jump on it, it would be half way to the top and in a twinkle I would be up there looking down at you two.
Black-n-White: Oh, Smokey, do what you can’t leave alone, but it’s your business about getting back down again.
Smokey: Well here I go, wish me luck guys.

And with a slow but careful climb up the hollybush, Smokey made a jump and landed on the roof.

Mr. Bluegrass: Hey, missus did you here that noise.
Mrs. Bluegrass: I sure did. Go and have a look what’s going on. I’m sure those cats are up to mischief again. Well, just come and have a look at this. Our Smokey is just sitting up on the roof and looks like he is there to stay.
Mr. Bluegrass: Just tell me how I’m gonna get that cat down again
Mrs. Bluegrass: Looks like we’ll have to get the ladder out.

Smokey: Hey cats, can you see me up here on the roof. This is just great – feel like the King Cat of the castle. You all look so small down there.
Torti: Well don’t look like our humans are happy about this. Think I’ll draw back a bit and eat something. There is a lot of fuss going on and I just don’t want to be a part of it. Now cats, just leave me alone and get on with your own problems, I’m gonna get some grub.
Black-n-White: Ok Tortie, know what you mean. When you are eating we just go out of your way, cause you don’t like company when you got food. I’m gonna stick around a bit, wanna see what our two Bluegrasses are gonna do to get Smokey down from the roof. He sure don’t look like some cat on a hot tin roof. More like a cat that don’t know how to come down from the roof.
Smokey: Got a point there Black-n-White. It’s sure fun up here but I don’t think I’m gonna make it down again on my own.
Black-n-White: Looks like some action down here Smokey, Mr. Bluegrass is coming with a big old ladder.
Smokey: Think I’ll try to get down on my own, after all what goes up must come down as my pa used to say. That old holly bush is still there and I’ll make a jump for it.
Black-n-White: I’ll keep an eye on the Bluegrasses while you try. Don’t want those humans coming in the way with that ladder. Try to distract them.

Mr. Bluegrass: Well, just look at that Smokey made it down to the ground by jumping on the holly bush. Come and have a look missus.
Mrs. Bluegrass: I would come but Black-n-White keeps getting under my feet and in my way.
Mr. Bluegrass: I’ll just pick him up and put him down out of the way on the porch.

Black-n-White: Whose picking me up, leave me alone or I’ll scratch. It’s not my fault that Smokey climbed up on the roof. Well looks like a nice bit of human flesh there let’s put my claws out.

Mrs Bluegrass: Ouch, hey Black-n-White are you crazy. Walking around between my feet and scratching as well.
Torti: Hisssss Hissss, what’s all that noise about. A cat can’t even eat in peace with all this fuss. Smokey you sure have started something.
Smokey: Well I got down all by myself without any old ladder, think I will make my way out of here.
Black-n-White: Hey Torti hold your horses. Look what a clever cat our Smokey is getting up on that roof all by himself and down again. Bet you couldn’t do that.
Torti: Black-n-White any more stupid comments like that and you won’t be Black-n-White any more but just Blackie – Understand – Hissss Hissss

Mrs. Bluegrass: Look, Smokey is making his way out to the road. Stop him
Mr. Bluegrass: Well, I’ve had just enough of cat life at the moment. Tortie what are you doing growling that way at Black-n-White. Misses, make that Tortie cat get out the way.
Mrs. Bluegrass: Well I ain’t tired of life, so think I will just get out of Tortie’s way. You know how aggressive she can get when she’s interrupted eating. And you know what, I’m going back into the house – I am fed up with dealing with these three Stooges today.
Mr. Bluegrass: Smokey come back here before you get killed.

Smokey ran off straight up to the roof again, but Mr. Bluegrass had the ladder ready and climbed up and got him down.

Later that day:

Tortie: Well cats, I hope you are all satisfied with the pantomime you presented this morning.
Black-n-White: Tortie you weren’t actually playing the role of Saint Cat. Hissing at me and growling.
Smokey: And what about me. Did you see me up on that roof. I was real good, climbed up twice.
Tortie: But only got down once on your own – and what was the suicide attempt at crossing the road in between.
Black-n-White: Smokey you are crazy. After nearly getting yourself a leg broken when you jumped down, you decided to take a walk across the road.
Smokey: Yeah, well you know, I got really excited and felt like Supercat, you know from the movies. I could do anything and win. I was almost the Bionic Cat.
Tortie: Well I don’t think there is anything bionic about you. You know what Smokey, take a sleep for a day or so, then you might get back to a normal cat chassin possums and running away from bob cats.
Black-n-White: Anyhow looks like the roof expeditions are finished. Mr. Bluegrass came out with a big saw five minutes ago and chopped the holly bush down. Looks like the days of the cat on the hot tin roof are finished.

Meanwhile back to our European cats.

Fluffy: Well that was certainly an exciting story. Do you think we could get up on our roof as well, like they do in the States.
Nera: Forget it. We live on the ground floor and our roof is two floors higher. The only animals you find on our roof is a stork that might fly over or a few ducks and crows. You won’t find any cats up there.
Tabby: Fluffy, it’s not worth going up on the roof. There aren’t any mice up there. As a matter of fact, the only reason for going out for a walk here is finding a mouse.
Fluffy: In America they have possums as well.
Nera: And in America they have bob cats – so no thanks. Cats, I think we should be satisfied with what we have.

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