Daily Prompt: 10,000 spoons

…When all you need is a knife might not be ironic, but it is unfortunate. Add your own verse, stanza, or story of badly-timed annoyance to Alanis Morissette’s classic.

A golden oldie writing a blog

She did it before in 2014

It’s a boring song in a daily prompt score

The words and sense is one big fog

Isn’t it stupid you probably think

Writing repeats after just one year

Been there done it all before

Someone pressing a button in a cyber world

But there is one born every moment

I thought I would write to have some fun

So I got a new computer to do it right

I did it wrong, not worth the fight

They don’t want my blogs that is for sure

It is stupid so I write no more

Not like repeats every year

Just ignore Wordpress, there is nothing to fear

They are pressing another button in a cyber world

I think they are laughing at me

And now you have a new template, great and mighty

They forgot to do it to make it sightly

It’s only for the freaks that love to call

with a mobile, messaging they are having a ball

It’s not ironic, just plain mad

It sucks like Beavis and Butthead they said

Stick your spoons where the sun doesn't shine

I have written my song and that’s just fine

I don’t know Alanis or her song

I really don’t care, am probably doing this wrong

Why should I waste time on a blog with no sense

More productive sitting on a fence

Daily Prompt: Always something there to remind me

A song comes on the radio and instantly, you’re transported to a different time and place. Which song(s) bring back memories for you and why? Be sure to mention the song, and describe the memory it evokes.

Oh yes there are many songs that remind me, but only me reminding me of personal things. They will not remind you of anything because they are my “remind me” songs and so I will not be plastering videos on my pages of “remind me” songs from You Tube. You will have no idea of my thoughts on these songs because they are my songs and not yours.

Let’s have a photo from my journey to Germany, this reminds me of a lot that happened in the past week. It is a view from the bridge of Traben Trarback along the Mosel. You can see the funfair on the left bank.

It is another hot day today, a few clouds in the sky so perhaps we might have one of those wonderful thunderstorms this evening. As I sit here in the shade of the porch the sweat is pouring from my brow. The song “Cool clear water” comes to my mind by Frankie Lane. Not one of my favourites but here are the lyrics, somewhat changed by me. As usual our weather forecasters have got it all wrong.

All day I face 

the barren waste 

without  the taste of water,

“Give me a bottle of mineral water”

Mr. Swiss and I with throats burned dry 

and souls that cry for water, 

cool, clear, mineral water from a Swiss spring of course.

The nights are cool and I'm a fool 

each weather forecaster  promises thunder with lots of rain and water,

torrents of stormy water

And with the dawn it still not here

and I take a shower in the bathroom

cool, clear, water

The weather man  sways and seems to say,

tonight there might be water

And way up there, I don’t know where

There won’t be any water

cool, clear, water

Keep a-movin' Mr. Swiss, 

don't you listen to him he just sighs 

He's a weather forecaster telling lies

and he thinks there might be water, 

Mr. Swiss can you see the big, green trees

where the weather forecaster 

thinks he sees

water, cool, clear, water

or something like that. Well you wanted a song, so you got one. This morning I cleaned the bathroom and afterwards sat outside on the porch to cool down with a glass of mineral water. And the weather forecaster - I don’t even listen any more, he just makes up stories. So here is a video just to show that there is a song behind the words, although they might not fit so well. In this heat you can be glad that I am even attempting to write something. It is the original version from Frankie Lane recorded in 1955.

WordPress Daily Prompt: Worldly Encounters

The friendly, English-speaking extraterrestrial you run into outside your house is asking you to recommend the one book, movie, or song that explains what humans are all about. What do you pick?

“Aaaahchoo! Aaahchoo!”

“What is that noise? Sounds like someone has a cold coming on. Who are you?” and there he was, complete with three eyes and an arm ending in a large something that looked like a  finger and thumb, he opened his mouth. I think it was a mouth, just a slit beneath the eyes.”

“I do not have a cold, but my beaming device was geared to living orgasms and I have landed in the middle of these feather balls which definitely have a negative effect on my breathing system. First of all, I will introduce myself. I am Bog, citizen of planet Flum and have been assigned to inform my folk of the cultural atmosphere on the planet Earth.”

“Yesterday I received a dead ancestor as a surprise from WordPress and today an extra-terrestrial. WordPress have their fingers everywhere. First of all I do not like extra-terrestrials landing in my garden. You have large flat feet that have left footprints in my lawn, so perhaps you could move over to the porch.”

He looked at me with all three eyes and a scrutinizing stare. He then hopped onto the porch with all three feet.

“That is better, so how can I help you?”

“Please to advise a good book, film or song that would characterise the complete atmosphere of this planet Earth. On our planet Flum we can only receive the television programmes, and it is difficult to decide which is the most typical of planet Earth. Is it perhaps The Simpsons, Sponge Bob or even Star Trek that show scenes of life on Earth? My personal favourite is The Simpsons, but the children on our illustrious planet Flum prefer Star Trek and sometimes watch an interesting programme called “News”, but I warned my sweet little kiddies that this “News” programme was not really for unformed minds: too much action and strange men all having different opinions. Personally I prefer the Simpsons, more similar to a normal family life. “

“Yes well Bog, I would perhaps not recommend to believe everything on the television, especially “News”. I think a book might be better so that you can form your own opinion of the Earth Culture.”

“Who are you talking to Mrs. Angloswiss?” and Mr. Swiss appeared on the porch. “Now he is sweet, I am sure the felines would love to play with him, or is he a food supplement? They love variety.”

“He is a sort of ET type sent by WordPress to gather some worldly culture.”

“WordPress again. But yesterday they sent your dead grandfather. I think you should stop doing that daily prompt, it is becoming quite weird.”

“All our ET wants is a book recommendation, film or song to take back to his planet, a souvenir of earthly culture.”

“No problem, I would recommend “Milestones” by Miles Davis as a record. That is one of the best by the master.”

“But perhaps they are not into jazz on planet Flum. I am sure something more soothing like a Paolo Conte song selection would be more appropriate.”

“But that is Italian. No, give him a recording of Miles Davis.”

“Mrs. Earthwoman, Mr. Earthman, I am confused, could you perhaps just let me have a book.”

“I know, what about 50 shades of Grey. It is quite a hit on Earth and would give a good idea on planet Flum how things work here.” In the meanwhile Mr. Swiss was listening to some music on his iPod.

“No, definitely not Mrs. Earthwoman. We have read that book on our planet and it is very confusing. Life on planet Flum is more colourful and it is too complicated for us: too much him and her and not enough cultural atmosphere. And think of our children.”

I decided to go into a more religious direction. “What about our bible?”

“We have our own bible. A second bible would only complicate things. Actually there is a reason why I arrived in your garden, and not because of the allergy causing flower heads, and he sneezed again. No, word has spread on Flum that you are a writer, your daily blogs show us what life on earth is really about and we have seen that you have written a book which has been published. Unfortunately we have not been able to organise a copy on Flum and I was wondering, if you would have a copy for me.”

Of course I had a copy for our little Flumeronian. I had been wating for this chance to spread the word, to make my book a success throughout the world, and even throughout the Universe. I dug into the book shelves and found one copy. I removed the dust from its covers and wiped away the coffee stains. He clamped it between his finger and thumb. Did I see tears appear in his three eyes?

“Mrs. Earthwoman, may I ask for a dedication written on the first page of the book. “Wise words from the greatest Earth author” and perhaps your web site address from WordPress. You have a great community on planet Flum that follow your blogs daily. That was the main reason why my beamer was tuned into your garden as a landing platform and of course WordPress did promise a free makeover on our computer system. They said it would be a great new look with a grid and ……”

I had to interrupt him. I did not want to disillusion this sweet little ET who was one of my faithful followers. We hugged each other, he touched my finger with his and said “ET Going Home” or something like that. I seemed to hear music in the background and he was gone.

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