Well not quite indigo, but a wonderful figure of a man aren’t I. Note my wonderful compact eyes, thousands of receptors and believe me I don’t just see everything, but smell it as well. Just a minute - sorry had to swoop down, there was a slice of bread and jam on the table.
“Err, mummy, look a fly on my breakfast bread.”
“Yuck Jimmy, don’t eat it, I will kill it.”
Note the human mother said “kill it”, not “scare it away”, or “cut a smaller piece for the fly to eat”, no respect. No-one loves a fly, cannot understand it, we are such lovable little creatures. If it weren’t for us there would be a lot of unwanted organic matter laying around, but let us leave that side of things. I know humans at really want to know about it - unless of course it is part of the job - you know murder investigations and all that. They can even work out when the body was killed according to the development of us flies.
So now the human is trying to kill me, yes kill me, with some sort of instrument especially constructed to assassinate flies, but do not worry, I escaped. It is much better in my place on the ceiling. Now you are all wondering how do I do it. Fly up to the ceiling and hang with my feet. If you are a fly it is very easy. No good explaining, you would not understand. Time to go, I can see a hamburger crumb. Not fresh of course just a piece of meat laying on the floor. Whoops, she nearly put her foot on me, but I did it again, they call me the great escaper. It is the story of my life. Imagine all day I search for food, no matter what, am constantly interrupted with assassination attempts from humans. Not only humans of course, there is a spider sitting in his web in the corner, but up to now I have managed to avoid him. He would love to weave a lunch packet with me wrapped up inside. Yes it’s a fly’s life, kill or be killed. I remember brother No. 104, two minutes as a fly still drying his wings and his first flight was into a web. Just the luck of the draw I suppose.
Look, a glass of coca cola, I can feel the draw of the sugar from here. Oh, how scrumptious and sticky, “suck, suck, suck” just using my proboscis effect to dissolve the sugar and yes, that is perfect. No, you do not want to know about how I dissolve it and absorb it, humans can be quite fussy about things like that. Time to move on, there is the remains of a plate of ice cream over there.
Can you see me? I am sitting on the spoon.
“Mummy that fly is sitting on my spoon.”
“I will kill it Jimmy. No put the spoon down, don’t lick it, it is disgusting, you will get ill. It has now flown away.”
I would add I am not disgusting, I am quite a handsome fly, but humans are funny that way. Although it might be that an illness could occur due to my presence. Oh yes, my ancestors have it in their genes, the bubonic plague was a combined effort between the rats and our species, but that belongs to history. Yes it’s a fly’s life, but I survived once again. Of course I eat all day, I have to stay fit. Sleep? not really, have no time, I am the great absorber. Ok, sometimes I might take a rest, The last time was when I met Flo, she was sitting on the window admiring the view and I decided to join her for a few hours. It made a change from food absorption and we sort of got lost in each other, if you know what I mean, he, he, he. Anyhow she flew off and that was that. Now and again a fly might fly past (note the pun - ha, ha) and say “hello dad, how’s life?” so I assume that Flo did have a few hundred offspring after our unforgettable meeting.
And now I have to go, cannot stay, something is coming to get me……