Three people walk into a bar . . .
“I’ll have the usual Fred.”
“Sorry Drac, it won’t work, it don’t fit-“
“What do you mean it don’t fit. It says three people walk into a bar and here we are. Me, Morticia and Wolfi. If it was full moon I could understand, but Wolfi has his normal jeans and t-shirt, no sign of gnashing pointed teeth and furry body, so what’s the problem. We have been coming here for years and suddenly you won’t serve us.”
“It’s not that Drac, but you must admit that you three do not really qualify as people.”
“Of course we are people, perhaps a little undead, but we are people. Stop crying Morticia, it won’t help.”
“But this is the only bar where they serve us since word got around that we only drink blood groups, and Fred serves such wonderful cocktails.”
“I’m sorry Morticia and Drac, but orders are orders. These Daily Prompts are getting quite strict in their ways. It could cost me my www site if I served you.”
“Howwwwlllll. I want my usual pint of canine group DEA 1.1 served in a dish please.”
“Yes I am sorry Wolfi, but no chance tonight.”
“I cannot serve a vampire, a succubus or a werewolf, it doesn’t fit.”
“We have been drinking here for years. I remember your great great great grandfather, he never had a problem.”
“My great great great grandfather was a different kettle of fish. One of yours gave him bite as payment once and since then it has been custom in our pub “The Happy Blodsucker” to serve you. And you know Dracky he didn’t have computers and stuff like that. He just kept the victims in the ice cellar and thawed out what we needed.”
“Oh yes, that reminds me Fred, I would like my usual pint with some ice cubes tonight.”
“Drac, no usual pint or ice cubes. You are sort of not human, like undead.”
“And where does it say in the daily prompt that only three living people enter a bar. It never prevented us having a good night out up to now. You know we always leave before midnight, not wanting to cause any problems with the regular punters.”
“I appreciate your consideration, but the pub has now been taken over by Internet and we have to stick to the rules.”
“Hey Dracky that guy over there keeps looking at me.”
“Of course he keeps looking at you Morticia. You are a succubus and all guys look you. You seem to have a power over the human men, they are drawn to you like moths around a lamp.”
“Yes, I know, but I can’t help it. It must be something to do with flawless beauty: my pale skin and black eyes probably. All the other girls say the same, our looks are really made to absorb and kill.”
“Exactly and Fred has enough problems as it is, we do not want to make it more difficult for him, so hands away from living guys Morticia, you are the death of most of them. Wolfi stop scratching, humans do not scratch in those places.
“Of course they do Drac.”
“Not in public places. So Fred do we get our usual or not. Perhaps you could serve it in a coffee cup, then no-one would notice. And Wolfi this time you drink it as a normal person and not lapping it up from a dish on the floor.”
“OK, well in that case it’s the usual, but this time in a coffee cup and don’t go blogging all about it. I have enough trouble sticking to the rules.
“Thanks a lot Fred, you are the best.”
“Shall I give him a hug Dracky.”
“No Morticia, you will not give him a hug. When we leave the bar you can hug who you want to on the street, but not here. People might start talking about us.”
There is a wine called 'Bull's Blood'. I wonder if that would suffice in a pinch? LOL.
ReplyDeleteI am sure Morticia would have loved that.
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